Fear. I have been overcome with fear about something. I am not ready to talk about it yet – except with Dw. I knew that I needed to talk to him about it before he left for Africa, because although this has been whirling around in my heart for awhile, it is reaching a bursting point. What if the pin holding it all in pops when he is 12,000 miles away??

He was at the office and called home for a minute. As soon as he heard me he asked what was wrong – yet another perk of being married for just about 30 years – he instantly hears my fear in my voice! I told him that there was something I needed to talk to him about. I also told him that it wasn’t “bad”.

Ya’ know, “bad” is stuff like one of the kids is making poor choices, or someone is acting like a jerk, or something is physically wrong with someone we love, or who knows….just “bad”. No this is something that has been floating around my head for awhile. I needed to talk about it, but I didn’t really want to voice it. Somehow I often have this idea that if I voice it it could become real.

I think it’s all part of denial – which finally, at 49 years of age, I am willing to admit that I am very good denial! After not much persuasion I stepped out on the back deck for the kids not to hear so I could tell him. As I put audible words to what I have been mulling over for months the tears began to pour – this fear has been troubling my heart for months.

I love this best friend of mine. He so calmly reassured me that the Lord was in control of it all. We have trusted Him with our lives, he has always been trustworthy and He would NOT disappoint. **sigh** He then prayed with me about it.

Right about this time the Lord reminded me of some previous promises, which I mentioned to Dw. I love when He does that!! So between the Lord’s precious promises and Dw’s comforting words and praying together I can rest.

I wonder how people do it who don’t have Christ? Or how people who know Christ but don’t rely on Him on a day to day basis do it? Where would I be without my Savior?