I was asked recently why I had not posted pictures of the new house going up? Hmmmm. Good question. I had to ponder that whole thought, because you’re right, normally, I would have posted pictures long before now.
So I have prayed, thought and pondered. I guess it boils down to this: I/We have been really sad (still!)about the log home. Maybe that doesn’t really make sense to anyone, but we can’t negate how we feel. We miss our home. We think it is yuky that we can’t walk back in ….ever!
The kids feel the same. We miss the countryside. We miss that it is summer and we have lived in a concrete jungle throughout it this year. Maybe it sounds “babyish” to have such feelings, but you guys promised I could be truthful and share my heart. I have to say, I don’t feel like I am complaining, just sad. Very sad. We loved that simple little log home.
We have not taken our friends to see the house being built. Some have gone when we aren’t there to look at it, and that’s an entirely different thought. We finally put up a gate with a little lock. Although I share our lives on this blog, I still get to decide when/how/what/how much of our lives to share. Wandering through our home, when we are not there, just makes us feel a bit more violated and the fire already had a way of doing that too.
I also loved that our little log home was tucked away. I know I wrote about that on a few occasions. People had a difficult time finding it, especially since it had a long lane. Now anyone who paid attention to the paper around our fire knows exactly where it was. That’s a bit unnerving to me. And now that it is being rebuilt, it stands out like a sore thumb from the roads in the distance. That kind of creeps me out now too.
We are completely confident that God, in His great faithfulness, allowed the fire and all that that brought…..so we will praise Him inspite of it…but we will be honest about the thoughts still rumbling around.
Then there is the whole question of what to put in the new one? What type of cabinets, etc? I have prayed, looked, pondered and prayed more. I finally thought, ‘Okay, we had just remodeled the log home before the fire, I will just do the same cupboards.” I mentioned it to Emma and she said, “Ohhh mom, that’s creepy.” I understood what she was saying and I have to hear her heart. And yes, maybe that doesn’t make sense to anyone else either.
So really, if we should come to mind please pray for wisdom and continued healing from it all. That we could process and, yes, even pick out cabinets!!
On an interesting note, I spent 3 hours this AM at Home Depot laying out a cabinet plan, only to drive home and be drawn to a used furniture shop. I had seen a little cabinet that hung on the wall and wanted to see if they had anything that might strike me. It turns out that the cabinet was made by the man behind the counter and he does kitchens – out of old barn wood and stuff like that! I was kind of giddy talking to him. I explained that our family is anything but “average” in our lives and so I just didn’t want an average kitchen that is brought to you by an average cabinet company….I think I would love one of old wood that is worn with weather and age……simple….just plain simple…….that to me screams, “linny”…..
Of course I called Dw, who was in an appointment and so when he called me back he heard my idea….old rustic kitchen. He thinks I am out of my mind, but is willing to look at the cabinet the man made.
That’s the first excitement for me in picking out stuff for the house. We’ll see.
Lord willing, I will be comfortable showing you pictures of the house soon.
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Autumn is leaving tomorrow with daddy to go to Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale. Your continued prayers for her are appreciated. Rumor is that they will do surgery. That is only a rumor from the doc in Albuquerque. Rumor also is that they will do it sooner than later. If they were to decide to do it quickly, I will head there asap.
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I haven’t forgotten about the giveaway. Just a few kinks to work out and we will announce the winners soon. Promise!!
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Emma is still really sick so I am taking her to the doctors this afternoon. We need her well!!
I absoultely love your idea of using recycled wood for your cabinets. It would be my first choice too! But probably for different reasons…love the rustic look but also have allergies to new wood and its finishes..etc.
Lifting Autumn up in prayer and all of you for your new home to be safe, secure, and lovable.
Dear friend,
You just post those pictures whenever your ready and don't feel rushed at all. I know you loved that little log home and actually you had many of us loving that little log home.
The cabinets sound AWESOME! I love rustic stuff. When I had my own apartment I hung an antique kitchen door on the wall and would just think of how many stories were behind that door. People thought I was crazy but I thought it was awesome.
I will continue to pray for your precious daughter. Please keep me posted.
Linny, just like you my privacy is important too. Never feel that you have to share everything with us until you feel comfortable doing so, God leads you or you want to. If you don't, that's perfectly okay. I totally understand where you are coming from.
I just know you're going to find the perfect cupboards.
I'll continue praying for Autumn. Hugs and love
Sweet Linny,
The giveaway should be the LAST thing on your plate right now! Dont worry about it!
I continue to pray for your sweet family. I understand how you feel about not posting the new house. It will take some time for all of you to get use to the idea of it not being your little log home. And I agree, that for safety reasons, you should be careful about posting. You are right, you are and need to be the one to decided what to share, how much to share and when to share it. It is going to be ok…I know that sounds small…but I am agree with you that God is in control, and that He has and has had a plan for all of you from the beginning of this "season" in your lives.
My goodness, I don't know how you are handling all that you have going on right now. I would be, and I am sure you are, beside myself with worry for Autumn. I wish that I was closer so that I could help you with the children so that you could just go with her and DW,(I am a nanny by trade, and have been for 20 years). I pray that everything goes well for her. And I pray that if surgery is the answer, that God will guide the hands of the doctors, that the surgery will be quick, and that they are able to remove any and all of the tumor. I pray that Autumn has a speady recovery, that there is little blood loss, and that when she does come to, that no other damage is done!
I also lift sweet Emma up. I know that she is a big help to you and the the other children love her so much. I pray that whatever is invading her body is quickly removed and that she feels better soon.
Linny, please know that if there is ANYTHING that I can do, I will do my best to do it. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers!
Praying for you big girls.
Linny, praying for Autumn and Emma.Please keep us posted.
I can understand perfectly how you feel about your new house and your much loved log house.
I love anything old and with a story. I hope DW likes the cabinets. If I could my whole house would be one big antique.
I totally get everything you said about the house…
Praying for your family.
Sweet Linny, Thank you for always being transparent with us-we all need some privacy! Big hugs to you and yours from Jesus today.
Since you encouraged me to fast I've chosen Tuesdays as my day-so know your girl will be upheld tomorrow. Prayers & Love, Noreen
Doesn't sound weird to me. You do what you need to do – when you have a peace about it. Love the idea of cabinets out of old wood- sounds like something I would love…..can't wait- well I can- to see pics of that if that is the way you decide go go.
Sending up prayers for your whole family.
Also, it's incredibly unnerving to think of people wandering through your new house when you're not there! The audacity of it!! Hope the gate keeps them all out.
Praying for Autumn.
I agree, you are so awesome for sharing your life with us God has really used your life and words. But, being a pastor's wife and a blogger is putting it out there! Your house is your sanctuary and you should be able to invite folks in wether you have walls or not!
Another thought… This is going to be the wonderful HOME that Jubilee comes home to. She won't know the log house AND the littles really won't remember it either. Their happy memories will be at the new house. As hard as it is the new house will be overflowing with happiness in short order and you will love being able to see your house as you come up the road. You will be home even though you have lost a piece of your heart your littles haven't. Where their family is, is their home.
Linny, I totally understand your sentiments regarding the privacy of your family and you have every right to be selective with what you share/post. I pray that your heart not be troubled about whether to post pictures of the kitchen cabinets or any aspect of your new home. Some things are meant to be kept private (and only you all as a family can determine that)…and that's perfectly okay. 🙂 The Father will settle your heart and give you peace about what and what not to share.
I'm lifting Autumn and Emma up in prayer for healing and asking the Lord to give your family strength, peace, and rest.
Praying for your big girls, your privacy and feeling of security,and thanking you that you are honest and transparent with your bloggy friends. Also praying for your safety in this new adventure.
In Christ,
Janet, Kevin, Ted, Philip, and waiting for Eli
Oh Linny, I think you and I are having a similar day (well, that's what Lynsay said anyway). Thank you for your prayers and I am praying for you, too. I can't imagine your feelings about Autumn right now. Praying for your sweet girl, in the hands of the Tender Healer.
Understand totally about the house. I have thought of you so often since we moved here. I have all of my stuff–just the house is unfamiliar and I am struggling with it. The house is so different than any place we've lived and my stuff doesn't fit the way it did at our last house. I miss the familiar more than I thought I would–and I always remind myself of you, who lost everything. I wish I could see you and hug your neck!
I will pray for your Tyler when I pray for my Ryan.
The cabinets/rustic kitchen sound lovely!
You & your sweet family are in my prayers.
Also, I am back at school [Cedarville] & went to the campus safety office to register my car… and your friend, Mr. Parvin, was the one that registered me! I told him you had said to say hello & he said to send his regards. It made me smile. :]
I cannot begin to understand the ramifications of all that you have been through in less than a year.
Just know that a lot of people care about you and are invested in your well being 🙂
Thanks for stopping by my blog tonight!
Amy
Oh sweet friend, I just read through your comments and I am blessed by the way so many wish to minister to your weary heart. Linny, you minister to so many . . . . . 24/7 . . . maybe it's time to take a breather and give yourself time to absorb all that is going on. You know we will keep praying even if you take some down time. I know you really get no "down time" at home, you are a busy mama, but please don't feel obligated to us, your bloggy friends. We understand. I know you've said your blogging is therapeutic–just want you to know it's okay to take a break.
I'm going to join Noreen in fasting for you (and your beloved family) tomorrow. If anyone else wants to join in, please do . . . if tomorrow doesn't work, pick a day. We love you Linny!
Father,
Please be near Linn and her precious family at this time. Bring peace to Linny's overwhelmed heart. Heal the hurts of loss that continue to weigh each of them down because of the fire Lord. Be in the decision making process for the new house–so many things to decide, help it be a time of joy Lord and not a time of confusion. Father we know that you will bring the answers even down to the tiniest details.
Lord we ask for healing for sweet Emma. Father, she is such a lover of others, please love on her, and restore her body to health.
For Autumn, Lord, and her daddy as they travel, give traveling mercies. As they meet with the doctor's and surgeons give wisdom. Lord, be over all of the decisions that must be made concerning Autumn's care–her decisions, the surgeon's decisions, her mama and daddy's decisions. Father most of all we ask that You would bring a complete healing to Autumn's body. We know that what looks so complicated from man's view, is not too tough for You. Please heal her Lord, in Jesus name.
Please continue to heal little Isaiah Lord. We praise you that his casts are gone. Keep the rest of the little ones in good health Lord, and the big ones too!
Watch over Tyler Lord, we know your eye is on him. We know that Your sheild protects him. And we thank You! Be with Sarah as she waits. And with Abby and Ryan too.
Thank you Father that when we are weak, and sad, and tired, You are there. When we need healing, You are our healer. When we need comfort You wait to wrap us up in Your tender embrace. Wrap Linny up Lord, hold her close, wipe her tears, and give her strength. I ask all of this in Jesus' name, Amen and Amen.
Hold on to Him Linny, He's gotcha!
Love you,
Tina
The rustic kitchen cabinets sound like a wonderful way to make your new house more "homey". Love the idea!
Praying for your big girls!
Laurel
Morning Linny,
As I read your post this morning about losing your cabin and your feelings about it I want you to know I relate to them altho my situation was not quite as bad as
my home burning down, it was traumatic to me.
We were hit pretty badly by hurricane Charlie 6 years ago. We had 12 trees on our house and a tornado touched down right beside us and tore the tops off trees and
threw them in our back yard, and
when I saw our yard I had the realization we could have been killed, it looked like a war zone.
Praise God there was no inside damage but the yard was unbelieveable. In order for them
to remove the trees on the side of the house and 1 large pinetree across our screened room, they had to come in with a bobcat.
Guess I need to tell you first that
we have been nestled in the woods
for 24 years, pretty much hidden
from view unless you were directly in front of our house.
5 days after the storm passed they
finally came to take the trees off
so they had to take out our whole side yard and some of our backyard
and they had to come with the bobcat into our backyard to remove all the debri in order to get to the tree on the porch. needless to say our whole entire yard was a complete and ugly disaster, then the next day they came to clear the wooded lot next door to us.
It had been sold unbeknowst to us.
So they completely cleared the whole entire lot. I remember going out to the bank and coming home and saw our house from the major road for the first time and I just cried, I felt so naked all of a sudden and could not really understand what I was feeling, and I was asking the Lord
what is this lord, what is the heavy feeling and I believe the Lord
answered with the word "Violated"
because as soon as I thought that I realized that is exactly how I was feeling was sooooooo violated.
It helped somehow to be able to at
least identify the feeling.
I also remember the first time I saw a sunset off of my porch, and I cried and was reminded that the Lord never takes something away that He doesn't give us something better in return. I was never able
to see lovely sunsets from my porch before. I believe as you start to get into the time of making choices for your new home a lot of healing will come and that new home will have your stamp of identity on it. Losing your home
was a huge loss, you lost everything you owned in this world,
but God will restore the days that the locust have stolen. I truly believe after going thru a number of losses myself that the Lord has to allow His people to go thru these things or we will never ever
be able to understand when someone else goes thru it, because even tho you know someone has a loss,
you don't really understand all the
intricacies of the situation until you experience it for yourself.
We only see and understand the surface stuff and what we see.
There is so much emotional turmoil,
and physical work and pain many times that we know nothing about.
I believe you have such a lovely family that the Lord wants the world to see it and like us He has
decided to uncover you to the neighborhood. It is shocking, yet
God will do so much with it you will be amazed.
My heart goes out to all of you,
and I look forward to seeing you enjoy once again your home, it will be brand new and everything will have your stamp of identity of it. Was so excited you found this gentleman who does that neat
cabinetry. That sounds so neat.
May the Lord bless continue to bless each of you in amazing ways.
Love and Blessings, Nellie
Praying for all of yall….
I think your new kitchen sounds really exciting. : ) We will be praying for you as you continue to process your thoughts and feelings, and we are praying for Autumn (and your upcoming adoption!) Love to you!
Praying, praying, praying. I am praying. I have never ceased praying for you. I'm praying about the house, the cabinets, the shower heads, the crown molding, and the light fixtures. I pray each item renews your joy for God and His provisions. I also pray that this home glorifies his love of family. Your family!
I'm also praying for Autumn. Haven't ever stopped praying for that chickadee!
And praying for Emma…sweet Emma. Praying she'll be back on her feet in no time!
I don't think your feelings are in any way silly. Grief has such a way of messing with your psyche. After Danny & Ben died, I could not bear to have a family picture taken because it wouldn't be my WHOLE family. Three years later, we took one at Sam's wedding, and to this day it is the only one we have of the seven of us. Some things are just too sad to try to explain. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
~Linda from Northern Colorado
I guess you're coming to my neck of the woods. I live down the street from the mayo clinic. I hope everything goes well for you'll
I guess you're coming to my neck of the woods. I live down the street from the mayo clinic. I hope everything goes well for you'll
What a great idea to have a rustic kitchen-sounds awesome. Your new house will feel like home once your wonderful family is living inside of it! Take your time and only share it when you are ready.
We moved into a home (not by choice) that was in terrible shape and it came with bugs and mice, rotted floors- you name it. I would cry whenever we walked into it. BUT I had a vision of what it could be- that gave me hope. I could not take before and after pics – too afraid – it was all in God's hands- I could only pray little by little it would someday be the home I had envisioned. Praise the Lord it did happen and became our home. We have since moved- but it turned into a beautiful house!
It is interesting how we can over value structures and tangible things however sometimes a home does not fall into that category. Our home is where we love the Lord, nurture our children, laugh with our husband and have feelings of safety. It is where we dream dreams and steal away for a moment- I am so sorry that in your wonderful log cabin all of this was violated by a fire. My pray for you is that with time and God's help you can have all of this back again- you so deserve it. God Bless you!
Continuing to pray for Autumn. I was hoping you were coming to the Mayo clinic in MN. Hubby was all set to babysit for me so I could head to Rochester. Keep us updated on how she is doing.
Prayers for you, my friend, from the other side of the country. Prayers for your peace and strenght, and health for you children!
Oh how I love the old barn look…it reminds me of my great-grandparents farm…anything, just sends me to the moon with excitement. You should see me in an antique store….so fun!
Praying for Autumt!