Sent from Linny Lee:
Just in case some of you out there think that life is a bowl of cherries and we have bonded well and all is fairy tale-ish…thought I ought to spread a little light on the whole older child adoption thing.
Jubilee is adjusting. She is sweet and happy….some of the time. But when she’s not? Oh my. Oh my. Oh my.
Our guess is that in the foster home she was in the last 2-1/2 years not once did she hear the words “share” or “no”. OH my. Oh my. Oh my.
We have bought treats for everyone at home. BUT even though we have explained that, she has this idea that if she’s holding the bag, it’s hers. Big surprise coming when she meets her boatload of siblings waiting at home. =) OH my. Oh my. Oh my.
So yesterday we went to Starbucks. It’s just a stones throw from the Victory Hotel here on Shamain Island. It probably was put there by Mr. Starbucks while thinking of families adopting older children. =)
We had been to the Starbucks before and each time bought a fruit cup amongst other treats. Well yesterday we got our goods and sat down. I opened the fruit cup and Emma took a piece of watermelon off the top. To which Jubilee in one swift motion grabbed the piece off Emma’s fork and flung the piece perfectly back in the cup while saying something very unkind sounding in Ch*nese.
I promptly took a piece and popped it in my mouth. To which Jubilee contorted her face and yelled at me. I then encouraged Emma to help herself, and I did too. She only got madder. This was a test and I was not about to fail. She started to scream and pitch the hissy fit of the century. It was so much fun to be in a foreign country, have your almost 8 year old screaming things in her native tongue and people who look just like her staring like I was from outer space. OH my. Oh my. Oh my.
Emmy and I pretended to be enjoying our time oblivious to her screaming like a naked lady. As her screaming continued, Emmy and I packed our stuff up and I carried her outside and down the street (she refused to move herself). We did not pass one Westerner…..just Ch*nese who gave us not-so-sweet looks. It was ridiculous and it was more than embarassing. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my.
I am pretty convinced they heard her screams all the way in Hong Kong. Aye-yi-yi. All because Emma took a piece of watermelon. Nice.
She screamed all the way to our room where I sat her on her bed. She proceeded to scream for the next 1/2 hour. I got out a deck of cards and laid on the other bed playing Solitaire and Emma went on the computer. We pretended that we were oblivious to her behavior.
She never once shed a tear. It was just a hissy fit, pure and simple.
Finally when she stopped I sat and told her that she owed mommy an apology. I tried to get her to say she was sorry and she just shook her head no. Oh my. Oh my. Oh my.
There is no doubt she darn-tootin knew that she had been naughty but there was no way, no how she was about to say she was sorry. Pride comes in all sizes and crosses all ethnicities, doesn’t it? Oh my. Oh my. Oh my.
We had been invited to dinner with some other families so Emmy and I got ourselves ready and said that we were leaving. I decided if there was any shot at her apologizing it would be to get to go eat (the kid is a chow hound). Sure enough she quickly said, “I’m sorry Momma.” Gonna’ have to work on that sincerity thing….one day.
But for all watching with wonder at older child adoption…..please pray for us and the other families. It is exhausting. It is wearying. It will certainly keep us on our knees. Love is a choice. It is a commitment. Love is not about just the good times. It is also about the bad times. It is also about the ugly times.
OH My. Oh My. Oh My.
Oh, Linny. I can TOTALLY second your words on older child adoption. Our daughter was 5 1/2 when we picked her up and was the favorite of all the nannies–never told no, given a BAG of candy everyday whenever they wanted her to do something that she didn't want to do. Oh my, oh my, OH MY! You should have heard her scream–in fact, the hotel we were staying in no longer welcomes adoptive families….hmmmmm, wonder why? But, with love and consistency, it DOES get better, but not overnight. But, God made these little girls for our families and our families for them; how can we do anything but love them through the TOUGH times? So glad that you have JP and she'll be home for Christmas. I think we'll be staying at the Victory when we go so I want the whole scoop on it when you get home.
Oh my, oh my, oh my. Bless your heart. Been there, done that . . . except I was in Guatemala instead of China. Adopting an older child can be challenging but what I've learned thus far is that the rewards are like no other. I'll be praying for you to have patience and wisdom during this "newborn" phase with your sweet Jubilee.
We'll also continue to pray the three of you home safely. (By the way, our son and my hubby will finally come home on Christmas Eve!) God is good.
Much Love,
Kathie
Linny, Wanted to tell you we have been home with Rachel (adopted AT 6) and we still have our days with sharing with siblings. We brought her home this time last year and she hoarded her stash of things along with what else she would take from her siblings, she would pack it away like a pack rat, took us 6 months to make progress with that behavior. Hang in there and now were praying for you all. Older children adoption comes with alot of differant things to consider that frankly I wasnt prepared for but we are doing great now.
Oh My! 🙂 So truthful, so real, and so right!:) Praying for you guys!
Wow what a trip so far! Hang on Linn you are just about home where daddy/siblings are ready with arms wide open to help show Jubilee all about family life!!!!!
Linny, what a good mommy you are:O) If anyone can do this, I'm sure that it is you. Jubilee will learn soon enough at home with all of her wonderful new siblings. I'm sure they'll give her a run for her money too:O)
I love reading all of the posts, and DW, you had me cracking up!!! Keep em coming:O) I continue to pray for your family. I can't wait to see the first Christmas post!
Lots of love to ya!!!
Jenn H. in WA state
Praying…..oh my! Praying some more oh my…and some more oh my 🙂
OH my gosh–that sounds JUST like our time in GZ with Haven. Oh no, dear friend, older child adoption is NOT for the faint of heart! You are so right–love is a choice.
I did have a god chuckle all the way through though 🙂
Hang in there–I have a feeling things are going to change very radically for Miss Jubilee in just a few days 🙂
Love you.
Linn,
I'm not sure if you are able to access this or not, but know I am praying for you. You could be writing about Selah…it is tough. You are so right on when you say love is a choice, it's a commitment. It takes love that cannot come just from our own human hearts, but that love that is only explained through Jesus–He will love through you, my friend. It's the only way it works. Oh my!! He is good, He is love, He is enough!
I am praying you are waking up to a better day!!
Much, much love to you!!
HAHAHA!! You are NOT alone!! Many of us with kiddos from LFCV got the stubborn ones!! It will get better….eventually! Hang in there! I'm sure she will not remember Zhou Zhou (Jo Jo) but he remembers her and is THRILLED she is coming home!!! He says *hi*
Enjoy the rest of your trip!!
Blessings,
Carla
Oh My Oh My! It is bringing back memories of our time in China! I sure will be praying for all of you- especially the ones in China!
I have so much to say- I think I will need to meet you at a Starbucks, somewhere! It is an incredible journey- one I am very grateful for but it does continue to test me.
You and Emmy did a good job!
Bless you both!
I love, love, love your honesty!! 🙂 Praying for you! Please never stop being honest!
I can so relate! When we picked up our 3 new children from Ethiopia this past spring, our new son, about the same age as your little Jubilee, was right on top of making sure that his new mommy and daddy understood very well that he was to be in charge!:-) We spent a long 6 hours in the San Fransisco airport, on the way home, with 4 of those hours being spent with a screaming, ANGRY little son who was not going a step further with us, and was going to let the whole world know that his new parents did not buy him a bottle of water out of the vending machine, but instead required him to drink from a drinking fountain.(the reason we did not buy him the bottle of water was because of the intend behind the demand- to insist that he was in charge:-) This is just one small example of how his behaviors had been for the week we were with him before coming home. But amazingly, after a few weeks of being home with all of us, and with great blessings and help from the Lord, he slowly reliquished his strong behaviors and has transformed into a thoughtful, loving little boy who we thoroughly enjoy. I have really enjoyed following your blog in bringing your Jubilee home, and will add my prayers for her to have ease in transitioning and bonding, and for your strength and endurance! Boy, do I remember how exhausting that time was. My best wishes to all of you. Becky
Oh my! I remember lifting our not-so-little 7 year old into the van, not buckling her in (she was standing in her seat) and running around to the other side of the car so that I could start the car and leave Barnes and Noble. This was all because she refused to hold my hand in the parking lot, and refused to get into the car when I told her that we could not get a coloring book if she did not hold my hand in the parking lot!
On the bright side, Yana now laughs (and is a little embarassed) when she remembers these sorts of events that occured early in our lives together!
Soon, you'll all (including Jubilee) be giggling, remembering the things that she once did!
I'll be praying for you!
Sarah
I'm sure you have read many books about adopting older kids. 🙂 My family adopted 3 older children (4, 6 & 8) from Ethiopia. We found that because most of the food was first come first serve at the orphanage, the older two would fight to get the best food. They have been home for 3 years and still have food problems.
We found that giving each a plastic bag with some food (granola bar, cheerios, and bread) keeps them calm. 🙂 We had the same experience with food in country.
Our oldest told us recently that if he can't see the food (especially his favorite, meat) it upsets him and he immediately goes into instinct mode. His instinct is to attack and fight, while the other two's instinct is to steal food and hide it.
We have found it best (for our dining out experiences 🙂 to get an extra plate of refills to have on the table. This calms all of them becuase they know there is more that they won't have to fight for. This is especially true for buffets and large dinner parties.
The other thing that calmed them down with other purchases was to buy things for them with tags. Because they haven't ever had anything that is their own they will try to take the new things we buy. For them a tag symbolizes it is new.
Shannon Miller
millersadoption (at) gmail (dot) com
I so appreciate your honesty, Linny! Thank you for the reality check! My girl is turning 6 next month and I should be picking her up a few weeks after that. I can only imagine the fun stories I will have to share, too.
I'll be praying for you all as you transition!
Melissa
Oh Linny~ You are one wise soul and a great example to any parents about to embark on a similar adoption journey of an older child…or a younger one, for that matter… tantrums and hissy fits come in all sizes!! 😉 I think you are handling it PERFECTLY well! You will eventually break through those walls that Jubilee has put up and a soft heart will emerge, just like the rest of your beautiful children! I am SO glad that Emma is there with you, to "show" Jubilee how things are done, and how to RESPECT Momma!! 🙂 Yes, LOVE IS A COMMITMENT… in good times and in bad! Hang in there and KNOW you are in our prayers, dear friend!
Blessings and Hugs,
~ Tanya
p.s.>> I just had to chuckle when you said she was "screaming like a naked lady" …LOL! Don't know why, but that totally struck my funny bone! 😉
My dearest sweetest Linny…
If ever you want an extra prayer partner, or shoulder to lean on, count me in. The saying is: "right now, doing that… " and how correct you are Love is all the time, but it takes awhile for some kids to even believe that.
Prayers for you all,
Barbara Lyman 🙂
Marysville, WA
Blessings sure do coming in interesting packages 😉 Here's hoping this little blessing learns quickly, and if she doesn't…it looks like you and Emma know what you're doing and have the experience and the guidance to survive one hissy fit, at a time =) Praying for more good times than 'oh my, ones' to come!
Thanks for being real, friend. We haven't stopped praying here!
We traveled with 2 couples that adopted 8 year olds and yeah it didn't look easy to me.
Praying for you and goodluck!
Oh my, oh my is right. God's perfect timing for this post. We just brought home child number 9 yesterday–he is 5 1/2 years old and has been through more than I would like to say. So glad that we have an Isaiah 63:9 Savior.
P.S. Praying about starting a private blog about older adopted children who have suffered abuse, abandonement and a word I DO NOT LIKE, disrupted adoption.
oh my gosh, you guys.
Lynn & Dw, I so admire you guys.
I don't know if I could be that patient with Jubilee. You are amazing parents, you guys.
I'll pray for you and for Jubilee!
Ioana
oh my gosh, you guys.
Lynn & Dw, I so admire you guys.
I don't know if I could be that patient with Jubilee. You are amazing parents, you guys.
I'll pray for you and for Jubilee!
Ioana
Yes, older child adoptions are definitely different. I think it could be a good thing that Jubilee is comfortable letting it all out with you?…maybe a good thing…just a tiny bit??? And it may be fun to try that fruit bowl think at Starbucks one more time…maybe a little bit fun? Praying, friend!
Oh Linny, thank you for being so honest…it definitely takes a LOT of time for these older children. And yes, love is a commitment! We don't necessarily feel that ooey gooey lovey dovey feeling, but we actively LOVE these babies! I'm reminded of a song from the movie "Fireproof"…"Love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for!"
Thank you for fighting for that love, Linny!
It will all be good, rest assured.
Thank you for shedding light!
We are praying for you!
So thankful for your encouraging example! Always!
OH been there done that. We walked down the road on Shaiman Island with our screaming son who was too big for me to carry while he thrashed. So my husband carried him, we were such a scene that a Chinese lady video taped us!!! We are praying for you all and it does get better. It is so much harder in China than it will be when you get to home sweet home.
Blessings!
Elaine
My wife and I brought our 3rd child from China – a 13 year old son – home in March of this year. He was very quiet and well-mannered… in March. It's amazing how quickly he transformed into a westernized teenager! 🙂 But we love him to death. He especially dotes on his momma.
Our prayers go out to you.
Linny,
Praying for you all through the good, the bad, and the ugly times! Thank you for sharing your story. It will help other families along the way in your situation.
Hugs,
Janet, Kevin, Ted, Philip, and waiting for Eli
You are in my prayers…this takes me back to some issues we went through when we adopted older children too. May God bring healing to your Jubilee Promise and strength to all of you as you show her the Heavenly love of family~
http://www.myautumnyears.blogspot.com
Oh, Linny! Your post made me smile! I can remember like it was yesterday holding my son in the Beijing airport while he screamed with all his might. I got looks like I was the worst Mama in the whole entire world. All because I wouldn't let him eat a magnet and threw it in the trash:) I will continue praying for your families transition. And I can also let you in on a little secret… I'm guessing she didn't hear the dreaded "NO" word much before she entered the foster home either. Our two boys were fostered at PHF beforing coming home and they were quite shocked to hear the Mama would dare tell them no:) They were both loved beyond measure, but were sure the rules just didn't apply to them.
I'm thrilled to see Miss Jubilee with her Mama:) Thank you for sharing your journey with us!
God bless,
Karen
Mama to 7
oh yes the bad and the ugly. thankfully that has been short lived with my two. here's hoping that miss beautiful calms down once she is home and realizes this is it, this is her family, this is forever. I cried all the way across the ocean thinking I screwed up royally. but they have perked up and they have become such wonderful loving kids. I hope the same for you!
Linny,
I am so thankful that you decided to post this. When my family adopted our little boy he was only three. I dont know if that is considered older child adoption or not, but it was our first adoption and it sure felt like what people describe as an older child adoption. Our son came from a foster family that he had been with since he was two months old. It was tough, really tough. We even had an incident in China similar to yours. We had went down to the resturant one morning and they were out of watermelon when we got there. Same screaming fit that went on and on, while others stared. I dont know that I have ever felt so helpless, and I remembered thinking…we are told that when we adopt that there is a possibility that we may encounter issues like this, but even though I knew there was the possibility, I really didnt believe it would be MY reality.
I think that it is a good thing for those adopting, or thinking of adopting to hear these stories. Not to scare them off, but to give them a dose of reality. These precious kids are dealing with so much, especially if they have come from a loving home, and the only one they have ever known, and its nice to know that in the end, even if its not so pretty sometimes in the beginning,that it is all gonna be ok. And as crazy as it might sound, I wouldnt trade all of the emotional ups and downs that we went through, because it seems to have made our bond that much stronger. And I would go through it all again to be where we are now.
Thank you again! You are such a wonderful inspiration and witness of Christ love, and I have learned so much from you. Thanks! Tracy
Revelation 3:19 "Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline."
Proverbs 13:24 "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him."
Hebrews 12:5-7 "And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: 'My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.' Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?"
Sweet Linny and Emma…. thank you for finally loving Jubilee as God loves her. Love is discipline and discipline is love. Jubilee knows neither. She has received neither. These are foreign to her spirit. It's painful for her to accept either because her body has longed for it for so long.
I know the Lord will reward your hearts and your desire to CHOOSE to love her.
May God bless you both richly as you seek His heart….
Your sister in Christ,
Amy
You are always so real. Thats why I love your blog. Praying for you all.
Praying for you! Thank you for sharing…Each time a read a post I am strangely comforted and relieved! I know it sounds strange but I keep thinking there is no way we can handle a child with so many issues etc but with each post I see another "crisis" that we already see in our house! No problem! We have already lived through it!! Our middle daughter has add/opositional defiant disorder AND sensory processing disorder. She has an extremely high iq and the doctor says this stuff can go along with this blessing. God has something amazing in store for her. All of her querks and struggles have broken down my idea of normal and really taken the fear and embarressment out of a royal hissy fit;) We walk thru them and we have a smart sweet compassionate girl on the other side. We can live through it here why not share the excitement with China or Africa! Thank you Thank You Thank You!!! Sheri
I so appreciate your honesty! I could imagine the looks you and Emma got, but you two rock!! You used such wisdom! Carie and I just had a conversation this week about what it may be like when JP meets her siblings especially Miss Elizabeth who, Carie tells me, is the boss! Can't wait to hear more and see more pix. Love and Merry Christmas to your wonderful family!! You continue to bless and amuse me!! Love ya
Oh my, oh my, oh my!
When we adopt these kiddos who have "untold historys" God's love truly shows up in astounding, unexplainable ways. I remember our daugther being sooo "unlovable"… Holy Spirit truly gave us the heart to love beyond reason. Makes me wonder about our own "attachment/bonding issues" with our Heavenly Father. Praise Him for His amazing grace, tender love and strong, strong arms that hold us when we put up a fight.
We continue to pray that God's discerment and wisdom cover your parenting and brings healing to your little treasure.
Lisa (and Taleah who's quite "attached" now and smiling at my comment)
Praying for strength and stamina for mommy! Just think what all Jubilee's spunk will be able to do once channeled. 🙂
Hugs and love,
Ann Marie
Dear Linny, Haven't gone through this but please know I'm here praying for Jubilee and praying that the Lord's grace carries the rest of you. Hugs to you today.
Noreen
I love that you love Jubilee even with all her tantrums. She needs to know the Father's love something she probably has never known in her short life. There will be days you'll wonder why and yet this adoption is God anointed and God's Christmas miracle to you. Consistency and a whole lot of love is what your precious promise needs. Continued prayers dear friend. Hugs..
Such a good word Linn! Love is indeed a commitment – something that we all need to be reminded of with whomever is is our lives! I know that the hard times will make the good times even sweeter. Praying for you and Emma as God gives you wisdom, love and patience in helping Jubilee transition to her new family. She just has no idea what blessings are in store. I love you and rejoice with you and am praying you through the hard times.
It makes me think about how Jesus loves us. Even when we scream, even when we pout, even when we refuse to be sorry. He loves us. That's what parenting is, and especially in a more difficult adoption. It gives us a much more tangible way to be like Christ. Praying for you! Thank you for ALL you do for the cause of Christ and the orphan!
Linny,
BTDT! We are freshly home with our 4th (7 yo dd). It's a good thing she's our fourth! It's much easier to walk that tightrope btween good discipline and good grace. They have to be so intertwined when leading a little person to wholeness. I can tell you get it, but boy is it tiring!
She's going to rejoince in the grace one day, but good fo you for walking her towards it with her down the path of discipline! 🙂
Praying for you and Emma and JP for strength,wisdom and joy in the midst!
from a momma who has done the older child thing a time or two and relates COMPLETELY with having to carry a hissy fit-ing child through a foreign country with everyone looking at you like not only you are the worst mom in the word but also possibly insane…
i promise. ONE day. her hugs will be so much tighter. her whispers of i love you so much sweeter. because she will KNOW the love that doesn't give up.
praying. i love you.
Oh my!
Well, she has a mama with a whole lot of grace! Having BTDT, I totally get it. We still work through some of the same issues. I had to chuckle at your description. I know the feeling of the stares and condemnation. I get that ever so slight perspiration and can feel my body get tense and rigid in situations like that. Then, I usually think it through, like what is the worst thing that can happen? Will I ever see these people again? Do I really care what they think?
Thanks for the reality check! It makes the rest of us feel "normal".
Glad you are laying all out there so others now to be prepared. Hoping everything becomes smoother. Can hardly wait to see her response to her large family waiting in the US.
oh my my my is right. I pray for patience and grace for you and you can do it. We will keep them coming! You go girl!
Thank you, Linny, for keeping it real. It helps others to know they are not alone, and it helps us to better know how to pray.
Prayers for you for grace and strength and you teach Jubliee what it means to belong in a family.
Blessings,
Robbie
I have been very absent in blog land for a few weeks, so I was unaware of your trip to China. So happy for you all, as always! I wish you the best, with boding, traveling, and everything in between you and your journey back home with precious Jubilee!
All the best,
Nicole A. in OH
Wow, do you have a following! Your blog encourages so many people. I love how real you are! We have 3 bio sons and 2 little chinese princesses. Our first daughter was only 15 months when we got her. Our second was 2 1/2. Your story sounds so familiar. Beneath that tough exterior was a wounded little heart that craved love and boundaries. My blog is http://www.oursecondadventureinchina.blogspot.com and if you go to March 08 and scroll down to "What day is it?" You will read a similar story to yours. Except it was congy, forks, and spoons that flew all over the restaurant. And oh the stares… She also did a bit of that when we first got home. I had ordered chips and salsa at a restaurant and she thought it was only for her. When I ate a chip… it was all over. There was no calming her down, we could only leave. One day I heard a noise when she walked and lifted up her pants. She had stuffed candy in her socks. I asked her why. She said, so nobody get them. It's taken some time for her to realize that she will never have to be hungry again. Watching how love has transformed this little girl has been such a gift to our family. Because she was older, as she learned the language, she's been able to share some of her pain with me. One day she threw her Chinese baby doll out of the crib and said, "no China crib baby!" I said, Emma, why can't the baby lay in the China crib? Big tears streamed down her face and she got this far off look and said, Baby cries and nobody comes. I said, Emma, God heard the baby cry and sent a mommy and daddy to get you. Then she said, Mommy all da babies cry and nobody comes. Pray for all da babies mommy. And we did.
Soon after I got home from China, a friend loaned me a set of dvd's that I wish everyone could get there hands on when they adopt an older child. It gave me so much insight into her world and gave great practical advice. It's by Heart of the Matters called, Because they waited.
By the way, Jubilee is absolutely precious!
Oh my is right. Continue to pray for you.
Wow, I feel like I had a day like that just yesterday, and we've been home for 2 1/2 years :-))
Thank you for being honest. Jubilee will blossom under this kind of love.
Almost home….
Barb
Oh, dear friend, you're gonna get through this transition and teach us all a thing or two! I thought we were the only ones struggling 🙂 We're praying for you and know you will make the choice to love!
Hugs your way….
OK,that sounds like one of my little sugar plums. To a T!! I definitely don't remember adopting any of them from China though. I so love how you handled it. That was hard. I would have caved. So so good Linny and because of that Miss Jubilee will adjust beautifully!
oh my goodness Linny! Sounds like you are gonna have your hands full and then even some more when you get back home. Prayers for you! Our last adoption was a 3 1/2 year old and I thought that was hard. oh my is right! Hang in there, if anyone can do it I know it'll be you!
Been there! Done that! It will get better, even though you may not believe that now! It will take getting used to, but your other kids will be the best thing to happen to her. She will have to cooperate fast to keep up! Be strong and have a good sense of humor!
Jackie W.
All I can say is God matched her with the right Mom!!!!!
Oh linny… Is it okay that I am laughing my hiney off at this post. This reminds me so much of so many webcam calls I had with Jeff while he was there getting Sam. Sam in the background throwin a MASSIVE tantrum. I cannot even describe it to you. Sometimes it was over Jeff not buying him something. Or because he couldn't go where he wanted, or because Jeff shared his Candy. Ummm… did I ever tell you how many doctors it took to break him out of the exam room that he locked himself in in Guanzhou? And the very special oath ceremony, our little big guy was in the back of the room SCREAMING his head off because Jeff asked him to share a toy. All the while these poor families have their sweet little toddlers monkeying on to them trying to enjoy the very special moment, while my little big guy was throwing a fit at such a volume that the poor people could barely hear the ceremony. ahhhhhhh…. the memories.
But Jeff stood his ground. And when Sam came home, He didn't know what he was getting into. Mama don't play that. He had a handful of tantrums the first couple of days, but when he figured out that they all resulted in a time out, and that noone was impressed and that was not how we rolled around here, that was the end of that. It helped a TONNNNNN that he had the other kiddos setting an example for him.
Now… he is a GREAT sharer. Better than me. And such a good listener… and a big rule follower… and just soooooo sweet. And we all laugh with him about the tantrums he threw in China…. all a part of the story.
She will settle in. It does get better.
And some day, no doubt. You will have some laughs about this one.
Love you guys~
Amie
It sounds like you are doing a great job mama! She will have lots of teachers when she gets home! Hang in there family. YOu will look back on all of this one day and see how far the little lady has come!
Reports of such great "fun" brings back so many fun memories to me! my Sera whacked me in the face with anything she could grab on planes, offices, restaurants etc… She was queen of the hissy… Now she tells me just how scared she was, which I knew then, and how glad she is that I never hit her back 🙂 Merry Christmas and enjoy your Year of Jubilee!!!
I am sorry… But I could only laugh the whole way through your post. I know fits aren't fun… but learning comes in the process. Hugs! You are doing good!
Thank you, as one of the other readers said, for keeping it real. I needed to hear that this morning as we are struggling with our 4 year old deaf daughter from Ehtiopia who was also never told no or what to do. Thank you!!
Kristi
Brings back SOOOOOO many memories of our first weeks after adopting our 6yo son. He was raised in an orphanage so I think the behavior can stem from also having to share EVERYTHING and just from having all the changes that occur/lack of communication/fear/lack of good sleep (from being on high-alert status even while sleeping) etc. etc.
I often asked myself if his behavior needed discipline or grace and I erred on the side of grace. I am now so thankful and think it was the single greatest thing I did to help him transition, learn to love and learn to trust–offer grace, love, reassurance. He is now the most amazing, loving, self-confident boy!!! God is so amazing!
I just felt let to encourage you. I am so happy to see her in your arms!