Well yesterday didn’t turn out quite like planned. Here’s how the the day went: Emma, Jubilee and I got to the hospital and checked in. Jubilee was already not liking being there. When they took us in the little room and gave us the jammies to put on, she was looking at all the medical equipment in the room and eyeing the door. Jubilee did not think we were about to have fun.
The staff was really nice, but that didn’t matter. Imagine, too, that Jubilee still understands very little and she is hearing impaired too. She is just learning to trust me/us. I showed her that we needed to change her clothes and she shook her head at me emphatically….as if to say, “Not a chance!!” There was no way, no how, she was changing anything.
Finally, the staff thought maybe it would be better to give her some Versed to help her relax. She was onto them. She would not swallow it, trying very hard to spit it out and looked at me as if to say, “Mom, I was trusting you, but it looks like you are part and party!” It was completely breaking my heart. I had tried to prepare her by explaining the best I could for days. But nothing, obviously, had prepared her for any part of it.
I tried to change her clothes. She wrapped her arms tight and would not allow me to unbutton her shirt. She was terrified and screaming hysterically. Emma and I realized that we think she thought that taking her clothes off meant that she was going somewhere and I was leaving her and taking her clothes with me. It was killing me. Thank you all sooooo much for praying – we sure needed it!!
Eventually I got her shirt off, but only with fighting and screaming like a wild woman. The staff finally decided they would take her clothes off in the Operating Room. I rode the cart to the OR with her in my lap, snuggled and tightly gripping me. I tried very hard not to cry cause I figured she would only wonder even more what was about to happen, if even Mommy was crying!!
In the OR they gave her “laughing gas” and she fought that with all her might. No doubt this girl has survived for 8 years fighting for herself, and she was not going down easily!! They said that with her screaming hysterically into the laughing gas mask would only make her konk out easier…..which she did. Within a minute, she was out for the count. They gently lifted her out of my arms and my tears flowed freely. The oral surgeon got me some kleenex. – he is the Dr. Brad Smith, I mentioned in a previous post. He and his wife adopted a daughter from the Philippines at 18 months old. Dr. Smith agreed: Jubilee thinks that you are taking her clothes and leaving her. The OR staff, anesthesiologist and doctors all seemed to feel very sad for her and promised they would take excellent care of her for me.
A bloggy friend, Karina, whom I had never met before had asked if she could come spend some time with Emma and I at the hospital. She came and we sat together visiting. Karina then went and got Emmy and my favorite thing to have while in Denver. A salad from Chik-Fil-A!! It was so sweet of my new dear friend – and it was such a blessing to have someone pampering us!! When I was back in recovery with Jubilee, Karina hung with Emma and kept her company. So sweet and a true blessing!!
So just about an hour into the 3-1/2 hour surgery my cell rang. It was someone from the Operating Room and they wanted me to come and meet with them. I confess I went into a panic. They had said they would call and update me on how she was doing, but why would they want to meet with me?
I went to meet the woman. It turns out that the doctor who was to put Jubilee’s tubes in and do a surgical exam to see if Jubilee even has a left ear drum? You know the ENT guy who could slip in and do the surgery without any problem cause he had all day free? You know the one who the Lord just seemed to work it all out cause everyone was going to be in Vegas at a convention except for him?? Yeah that’s the guy!! Well he sent a staff nurse of his to apologize and tell me that he was not going to be able to make it because an emergency had come up. WHAT?
Now what I have to tell you is that a couple of hours earlier when I was signing all the papers for the surgery, his resident had come in. I had talked to him and asked him some questions. The resident had said that the Doctor {ENT} would be down soon to talk to me before the surgery. He never came.
While the resident had me signing papers I had asked if he would be doing the surgery? He said he would not – that the true ENT would be doing it. I said, “Good cause I don’t want you doing it.” =) {There are wonderful perks to being 51. Years ago I would have been a chicken liver to say such a thing.} He assured me he would not be doing it, that only the ENT himself would be doing it.
But as I was signing the release for the ENT papers and asking the resident some questions I began to feel that Jubilee should not get the tubes. I prayed, “HUH? Lord? Everything has worked out. What should I do? Is this just fear Lord?” But the feeling did not go away. I prayed, “Well Lord if I am understanding you right, then please just block it.”
So here was the nurse from the ENT’s staff…she was apologizing. She was saying that there was a 4 hour surgery that was an emergency and there was no way the ENT would get down to do Jubilee’s surgery.
I just said, “That’s okay. I am woman of prayer and I believe that in everything God is working behind the scenes and for some reason Jubilee is not supposed to get the tubes and I felt like God was telling me this as I was signing the papers and so I’m okay with it.” She was like, “Huh?” She went on and said, “Well Dr. Brad is really angry.” I said, “Please go tell Dr. Brad in the OR that I am really, really, really okay with it. That for some reason the Lord doesn’t want her to have the tubes at this time, and I am all okay with the whole thing. Please tell him that God prepared me for this and I am really, truly okay.”
I said, “You have to tell him that God told me and I have been praying and it’s all okay.” I know that Dr. Brad had at the office visit last week said: “He loved to be used as a tool of the Lord” and so I was guessing that although, from a medical stand point, he might not understand, but that maybe, just maybe the Lord closing the door would make sense to him.”
Now friends, I have no idea what all that was about. But I trust my heavenly Father. He loves Jubilee far more than me. What if the timing is wrong or the tubes are wrong for our little girl who is already hearing-impaired? Who knows!! But I do know that God has Jubilee’s back and we can trust Him even when life might not make sense – so it was all good with me. We will look into it more.
Since Tyler was at home, I wanted to get here as quick as I could. As soon as they released her we headed for home. I wanted to get through the mountains before dark. I asked the Lord to show me which roads to take out of Denver – since I had forgotten to print out Mapquest. He totally pointed me the direction, taking roads I had no clue about – and we were off.
Jubilee did throw up quite a bit on the way home. Emma was such a blessing, ministering to her, we would slow down and throw the vomit out the window and off we would go again.
Amazingly we made it home in the shortest time we had ever made it. The last 60 miles of the trip are the worst to me. The area between Pagosa and Bayfield is gorgeous, but it also the place where there is no cell coverage and on different trips I have had a moose in the road inches from my car, an elk next to the car and a bear on the shoulder! So I asked if someone could meet us and help me by driving the last 60 miles. Tyler and Josh brought Dw’s truck and met us in Pagosa. Tyler drove Jubilee and I home and Josh drove Emma in Dw’s truck. So much easier, since that last hour I usually feel the sleepiest!!
It was a wonderful blessing to have Jubilee’s surgery behind us {for now}. She will feel so much better in the next few days. She is snoozing on the couch as I type this.
Oh, and for the record….I don’t text and drive. So any Tweets you get from me, while I am driving, Emma is doing for me. If no one is with me, then I pull over. =) I’m just sayin….xo
We have been praying for her surgery and SO glad that the actual surgery went well. It makes me so sad at what our children go through and the fear that is residule even in babies at being left…sigh. Thankful this step is over.
Our family will continue to lift up sweet Jubilee in prayer! It's what we do at dinner, talk about and pray for all of these sweet kiddos. SO glad surgery went well….and that you avoided any moose..mooses?….mosi? š Be blessed!
Your faith in God's perfect timing and plan is so encouraging to me as we wait to pass court and go get our little girl…I'm really NOT good at trusting Him I've discovered:(… I'm ashamed to say that(having been a Christian for 31 years)…but you always encourage me to trust..and I need to be pushed..constantly it seems..so THANKS! I'll be praying with you for little Jubilee..and what God has in store next for her!
I'm so glad the surgery went well! And that you had a safe trip home! What an answer to prayer! Please keep us updated on Jubilee's recovery!
I will be praying for a speedy recovery for sweet Jubilee… wow, what a day. I am sure you are exhausted, but so reassuring to see God working behind the scenes.
Sara
Oh, sweet Jubilee. When Jadon had his tonsils out, he wanted nothing to do with that gown! He had seen it before, and was not happy about it.
She didn't stay overnight? Wow! You did that all in one day!
Praying for Jubilee and for all of you.
Blessings,
Sarah
Your post about Jubilee's surgery reminded me so much of my Susu's surgery about five months after she came home from China. She was absolutely terrified and she really started to get upset when she saw the hospital gown she was suppose to wear. I took her in to the OR and made sure the doctor and nurses had me back with Susu before she woke up so she wouldn't think I had abandoned her. It is so hard to see your child terrified and not trusting that you will come back for them.
Susu was terrified of doctors, dentists, and any place that even remotely looked like a doctors office when she came home from China at four years old. Your story reminded me of how far she has come in the last two and a half years and it is truly a miracle. She is now happy to go and visit the eye doctor and the dentist. About six months ago she told me she was a big girl and didn't need to sit on my lap during exams anymore. Susu's doctor and dentist can't believe her transformation. I will pray that sweet Jubilee is healed of her fear of all things medical very soon!
Amy
I am very thankful that everything went well for Jubilee. I will pray that any future medical needs are easier now that she knows you will be there to care for her and take her back home.
Thank you, Thank you, THANK YOU for being so close to the Lord to see Him work. And, thank you for writing about it so that I can remember it before I get my britches in a bind about something much less important.
I am so thankful that you allow yourself to be an example for other moms to follow. You encourage me so very, very much.
We'll be praying for Jubilee's recovery, and her her heart.
I know there is a reason the tubes did not work out. Cleft surgery recovery is rough, so hang in there! Our prayers are with you both.
Thanks for all the updates, esp. regarding Jubilee's surgery (we've been out of town). So glad the surgery is behind her now.
Sending extra kisses & hugs her way.
Barbara Lyman š
Wow that touched my heart! I have fallen in love with your family. I am 18 and graduating high school this May. And I have been following you blog for some time now. And you are such a blessing and role model to me. I am trying my best to serve my Lord and Savor. And my mom and you are who I want to model as one day I will be a wife and mother. You are such an amazing women. And Iām so glad to have found your blog. Your family is always in my prayer and I loved reading your blog. It is so great to read and be inspired by someone who believe and lives for Him. My prayer are you and your beautiful family!
Your sister, Ely
Glad things went well. I was praying for Jubilee yesterday and today. Glad you made it home OK.
Julie
I'm firmly believing Jubilee isn't going to need anything for her hearing. I believe God's going to give her total hearing w/o any aids. Continued prayers for your precious little one. Hugs and love
We are praying for your sweet Jubilee! She has been through more than anyone should ever go through in a lifetime! Someday she will be able to understand and know how blessed she is š
Denise
So thankful all went well! Poor dear was so frightened- our Anna is very frightened of Dr's and hospitals after that surgery.
Thank the Lord you are all home safely!
Hugs,
Jean
I'm so glad to hear that all went well, and that you and the girls are home safe. I'll be praying for sweet Jubilee. What a relief it must have been for her to wake up and see you there:O) Poor sweetie girl…bless her little heart. Have fun hanging out with your boy before he heads back this way:O)
lots of love and prayers,
jenn
Wow — so smart to yield to the voice of the Lord on this occasion. I know that you have peace about that. I'm so sorry you had to experience all of that, though. Love all of you.
continuing to pray for Jubilee :))
I have been thinking of you guys and praying for you.
Precious girl, sweet sister and dear mama. Thanks for the update. I love how you listen so closely to the Spirit–even when it does not make sense to the natural mind.
Love from the North,
Summer
Sweet Jubilee. Bless her heart. I know she was so scared. Thank you, Linny for posting all the details. Our family needs to trust Him this week for many reasons and give Him all that we could be anxious about. God already knows the results next week…and He knew before the creation of the world. Thanking God with you for taking care of Jubilee.
lifting you all up in prayer.
Be Still and know that he is God!
Still praying for Jubilee. I hope her recovery time goes well. I had tears well in my eyes as I read about her reactions to all of the medical stuff. I, too, have had a child struggle through a medical procedure. He was getting allergy testing at age 4 for the second time. The pricks are uncomfortable enough, but he is allergic to at least half of what they test him for and the reactions are huge, painful and itchy. And he remembered his discomfort from the first set of tests. It took two nurses and myself to hold his screaming, surprisingly strong little body still. I couldn't hold it back, silent tears streamed down my face as sweat poured down my back. When it was finally finished, the nurse turned and said "You did a good job, buddy!" As she left the room, I whispered "If that was good, I hate to see what bad is!" That sounds awful, but my little guy has a great sense of humor and we both busted out laughing (tears still streaming!) Laughter truly is a gift from God. Thank you for allowing me to share that story and for allowing me to pray for your family.
Just got home from the Christian Alliance for Orphan Summit that my mom generously paid for and we loved it. Glad to hear all is over now and she is on the road to recovery. We will send the prayers your way. I hope your ears were ringing these last few days, all I did was talk about you guys!
I think msot dofear like that when they first are home with the surgeries going on and all the strangers in strange suits. Delaney and Lili did. Now, years later, they handle surgeries better than I do. LOL hope she feels better soon and can get her tubes when it's time. Delaney's surgeries tend to go the same way. Nothing gets done at the same time. God's plan I suppose. She's had 8 last month, has #9, 10, 11 scheduled for this year.
I think msot dofear like that when they first are home with the surgeries going on and all the strangers in strange suits. Delaney and Lili did. Now, years later, they handle surgeries better than I do. LOL hope she feels better soon and can get her tubes when it's time. Delaney's surgeries tend to go the same way. Nothing gets done at the same time. God's plan I suppose. She's had 8 last month, has #9, 10, 11 scheduled for this year.
I'm still here, praying for Jubilee, and the rest of the family.
Linn, it truly was my pleasure to pamper you, and it doesn't hurt that Chick-fil-A is also one of my favorites! š I wish there was more I could have done.
Your blog is so edifying and inspiring and at times convicting. I thank God for your ministry to those of us out here in bloggyland.
And just so you know, you are welcome to call on us any time you find yourself in Denver.
Praying now for you and Jubilee, thanking God for the peace he sent to you about the tubes BEFORE the surgery. He is such an AWESOME God.
Please join me in a prayer for faith for Ellie. If you have a few mintues, and I know you are one busy mama, take a look at the blog.
Blessings, Prayers, and Love,
Robbie
Oh, I'm glad everything worked out great. I was a little concerned at the tweet you sent, but I figured you had pulled over to send it and I was afraid I had slowed your progress home! I'm glad you had Emma there to help you out!