If I Hear It One More Time….

If I hear one more time, “I know people who would love to adopt, but they could never afford it. How did you afford it anyway?” I think I might just scream. Really.

Recently I heard this for the 12,476 time from yet another well-meaning Christian leader. I kept my composure, but it would have been interesting to throw a blood pressure cuff on my arm….cause I’m thinking you would have seen it spike!

So what did I say?

I said,

“Are you kidding me? Any person who purposes in their heart to care for the orphan God will provide for every single bit of it. God’s heart is for the orphan!! He is passionate for them! He will provide every, single penny to bring them to a forever family!! We have brought home 4 kids in 2 years. How did we do that? We did that by God moving in mighty ways. For starters, we sold a home to get out of mortgage debt and moved to a small house where we had no mortgage.

Then, God moved on some people’s heart {who had absolutely no idea that we were in the process of adopting two from Africa} to give us a large monetary gift – $15,000.00 to be exact!! You know why God did that? Because His heart is for the orphan and He is going to provide every single penny for each child to come home….

I don’t believe for one split second that had we been floating through life we would have had that $15,000. gift. What would we have needed it for? To spend on our own selfish desires?? NOT A CHANCE! He saw our hearts and because HIS heart is for the orphan He will move mountains and provide for every single need! With 160,000 million orphans in the world, we must do something!”

I wanted so bad to say, “So what are you doing with James 1:27?” But I thought it might sound cocky and arrogant {which it would have been} . But really friends…how can so many well-meaning Christians sit and watch from the sidelines? How can so many just ignore the plight of the orphan? How can so many pretend there are no orphans? What will they say one day when they stand before the God of the Universe who breathed into being the words of James 1:27, “Ummmm, yeah. We couldn’t afford to adopt. In fact we couldn’t even afford to help someone else adopt.” Somehow I just don’t think that kind of reasoning is going to make it all okay.

We are all called to do something. Something. Anything.

34 thoughts on “If I Hear It One More Time….

  1. Mmm. Some times… I think it'd be nice to just kinda bop people upside the head a little bit. hehe. I get crazy looks/reactions when I mention how long until I'm legally old enough to adopt. There are less than a handful of adoptions that have happened (to my knowledge) at my church & that kills me. I got super excited to learn that a couple that works at my college is adopting from Ethiopia. I pray that God will use my heart & my trip to Uganda to plant seeds in people's hearts. And I can't wait to see Him provide for my trip… and my future adoptions.

  2. This post fires me up. I too hear the SAME thing over and over, and I just want to shake these people! These…well…church members.

    I think what is worse is when these people (church members) say, "That's a nice thing to do."

    OH MY WORD, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?

    God provided everything we needed to bring Evan home. EVERYTHING. He just needed us to have a willing heart. Praise God our Evan his home and at the present moment, crawling around on the floor pretending to be a dog with his sister…the other dog.

    He'd still be an orphan right now had we said, "we'd love too, but just can't afford it." Or perhaps the wording should really go… "We'd love to but just place nice, new cars and vacations in priority."

    I'm glad we drive junky cars, take day trips, and the like. Evan and all the others are worth it. God is worth it.

    OK….breathe now. :0)

  3. Thank you!!! Couldn't have said it any better. Just sold our house BTW. We know God is going to move and make the rest come together somehow, someway. Cause He's a miracle working, mountain moving, orphan loving God!

  4. Well God provided us $18,000 in one week when we had nothing to bring Jaxson home.

    Sounds to me you need a linky of people telling their God stories on how God provided for their adoptions.

    Linny, I have been thinking of you all day and if I lived close I would be coming over for coffee on the porch.

  5. Oh, Linny, I'm so with you! When we add up how much the Lord has provided to bring home five Treasures in 6 years, it's a LOT! But if anyone ever tries to rationalize all the 'things' we could've used those funds for, I contend we would NOT have had them! They were specifically to bring home the children He had set in our family long ago. I just love the fact that He NEVER leaves or forsakes us, and if we purpose in our heart to make a difference, any difference, in the life of the orphan, He will blaze the trail!
    Love your heart, sister!

  6. AMEN and AMEN!! I so think that "stuff" is more important to some than thinking of orphans. Everyone really needs to read the new book Radical by David Platt. Changes your whole perspective on not only orphans but a lost and dying world.

    I totally agree, we can all do SOMETHING!! hugs and love

  7. Stopping by and catching up. Re-entry after China is rough. I know you know!

    I tried to find an update on your medical post from June 16. Know I'll be praying … knowing God knows your every need.

    As for this post … amen. I mean, seriously, sometimes I think some well-meaning Christians need a turn in Whac-a-mole with our Lord wielding the foam mallet. 😉

    BTW, I know this will sound crazy, but our pastor and his wife are going through a really tough time. They shared something today at church that has rocked their family's world: it involves one of their children.

    Our pastor's wife has a blog: sisterpastor.blogspot.com

    She talks a bit on there recently about being in a fishbowl. She just battled cancer and now this. They are weary, and I just thought you and DW would be able to minister to them in a way most of us can't … because we've not been in the pastor fishbowl. When I read your post about your latest illness, I immediately thought our pastor's wife, and her recent cancer battle and now they are in the trenches for one of their children.

    If you had a minute to contact her, you could leave a note on her blog or I could email you her email address as I don't want to post it here.

    Thanks for your prayers for them: Pastor Tom and Leighann in TN.

  8. Amen.Ya know, God didn't say that we all have to adopt either. HE said "care for" and that could be through mission trips, sponsorship, helping another family $$$ in their adoption and don't forget PRAYING. There are so many ways to care for widows and orphans, but we have so many people that would prefer to put their own wants first. And, for us, you can't just get one! As soon as the first came home, we started paperwork for the 2nd. I wonder what God has planned when the 2nd gets here!

    Preach on, Linny!

  9. I think this goes right along with, "Well, we can barely handle the 2 kids we have…" Really?! If you can handle it, then you NEED to let him enlarge your territory! Where's His glory in YOU handling your life? I think He delights in giving us a life that is beyond ourselves. It's in our weakness that His strength is made perfect.

  10. AMEN! I get so frustrated with that too. I call it, Compassionately angry! I feel compassionate for those who really can not fully trust in God and angry because they don't do anything about it! UGH! I have been feeling like screaming at my blog lately about this exactly topic. But I am praying for God's wisdom and discernment about how to approach it. I am 27 years old, with five children! Our daughter just came home from South Korea and she is deaf. God called me and my husband and I am so thankful we just happened to say yes and trust with all we had!!!

  11. I am glad to see The Millers comment. It is a message that needs to be shared. Not only is it free or nearly free sometimes it may include an adoption subsidy that is paid monthly until the child is grown. It may include college educational assistance. It may include medical insurance.

    Their stories are pathetic and could tear your hearts out. These kids need homes every bit as much as an overseas orphan. They need forever homes. They need love.

  12. I read this and I cry, because I wish it was money keeping us from our children but it is not always money that prevents people from adopting. Sometimes mountains are not moved, no matter how hard you pray. I can not wait until I am asked this question because it will mean a couple children are orphans no more.

  13. funny you should mention this. I JUST said soemthing like that to my husband YESTERDAY! yesterday when we returned from Ukraine where we were told that we could be the parents of FOUR children we met there last year when we adopted TWO children. and now I have ten kids. do I have a fancy car? no. do I have a huge house? no. do I have a lot of love and some really great kids? YOU BET!

  14. Amen…Amen…Amen!!! If people only knew our true financial situation…the car that sits in the garage in need of repair…the fact that we began this journey with only enough for the application fee… God HAS provided every penny thus far and I have faith He will continue to provide in ways that we could never imagine. The amount of people that have emailed me just this week that are on the fence about adoption…while the children sit waiting on SOMEONE to just say "yes, lets adopt"…..

    Thank you for being their voice!

    Love and blessings,
    Robin

  15. But Linny. This does not happen for everyone. I wish it did. I hear people say it..but then I see it NOT happening. and folks my say, they did not pray (what? hard enough, trusting enough?…)…but it does not always happen. Neither of my adoptions were financed with any help or big windfall, or miraculous provision. I truly love God, I truly ask, but it came from borrowing against my house, …borrowing on credit cards, and borrwoing against retirement to pay it off. I HAD to move to a smaller, cheaper house, due to the too big mortgage and then even to a smaller, cheaper one than that. I don't mind…. but I just did not see the provision.

    So one might say, or should I assume, that my two adoptions were not of God…because He did not provide and I bullied on ahead? Maybe so.

    I hear folks say, take the step of faith and He will provide…but in my case, it was never provided. So I could have stopped and two less children be in my home.

    I truly love God and it has always dumbfounded me when people say to step out like this…but then I do not see the miracle happen. The same with folks around me. I just don't see it. I hear it on the internet, but don't see it.

    So I can see why this person would say that. Yes I DO believe God CAN do anything…anything is possible. My question is will He?

    Mom of four…

  16. AMEN!
    oh my heart was pounding so hard as I read your post. I mean REALLY hard, it nearly jumped out!

    You bet we are all praying with that same fervour for God to soften the hearts of His people to get involved….. 🙂

  17. It's amazing how many people can manage to find the money to buy granite counter tops for their kitchens and of course the old stand by, new cars. If you can buy a new car you can scrape together enough money to adopt. Of course, then you wouldn't have the new car. I drive my old car proudly and think "this is an orphan from India, now in my home." My ugly yellow laminate counter tops from the 70s are an orphan from China, now in my home.

  18. God provided EVERYTHING we needed too, and we had NO idea where it was going to come from. I am still amazed and giving Him the glory! I had many, many times of doubting how it was going to be paid for…I remember telling someone "at the end of this we're either going to look really stupid [if the funds don't come in] or faithful." God is faithful! Our adoption cost as much as my husband makes in one year-only God can do that!!!

  19. Sandee, I agree, it does not happen the same way for everyone…we didn't receive any windfalls either, we used some home equity, but slowly and diligently the Lord has provided.

  20. Not Uh Oh…..the truth….the truth hurts for those who have chosen to ignore it. That post was meant to go because we need to be smacked upside the head sometimes with "the truth". It has fired me up once again to forge on for the orphan.

    We had a "rough" day yesterday at home with our two angels. Nothing specific, just a lot of whining (the boys, not us 🙂 ) and I thought gracious….this is hard at our age, when will we get a break? So when I back-tracked just now to read the post you were trying to explain…I just laughed because…that "smack" upside the head I spoke of….Um, ya, it kinda felt good! ITS NOT ABOUT ME!
    Where would my boys be today if we had not obeyed God's call and rescued them from the orphanage life!?!

    Thanks for the reminder! 🙂
    Julie

  21. I hear pain in Sandee's "voice". I know where she is coming from. To hear miracle stories of God's provision and that is not your experience could well leave one feeling that you had made a mistake. BUT maybe you didn't make a mistake. God does not work the same way in all our lives. God may in deed have a special work for you, Sandee, that will require a growth in you out of this experience. Do not think of yourself as having made a mistake but maybe you have been chosen.

    I am a grandmother who is in ill health who did do an international adoption 28 yrs ago. The daughter that we adopted then still lives with us as a SINGLE never been married mom of two kids adopted out of the foster care system and two kids currently placed in foster care. She became a foster mom in our home 4 yrs ago.

    During the last six years we have lost most of our earthly assets–business, real estate, cars and personal home. We have no financial reserves. We have totally lived on God's provision and He has provided. We have learned to go without things as necessary as a car until He provided, etc. We have had to live by faith–true faith with no sight.

    I recently heard this definition of faith–"to do the humanly stupid". Think of Noah, Moses, Joseph, Abraham–the Hebrew 11 people.

    So the advice from this grandma for what it is worth is to seek God first, build your relationship with Jesus, ask for His leading. When we are weak He is strong. "When He has tested me, I will come forth as gold." Job 23:10

  22. I just have to add here! I have adopted and am adopting from foster care. I do the impossible, with the help of God. I had to jump off the edge of the cliff and trust God to catch me. Very few people understand. Why would a young widow like me ruin their chance of remarriage by taking in THOSE kids!?! Seriously…

    I found another adorable special needs child that needs a home. I want to provide a loving home for her. That would mean 5 under 6, plus daycare kids. I have a huge support group. Yet I am hesitant to tell family members what I am considering, because in their words "you dont have to save the world." " your children will suffer". Etc…
    My chlidren cant wait until we get anotehr child. They have been praying for a baby. Everytime my oldest hears a story of a struggling, hurting child, he says " mom, I think you should let them come live with us, you would love them".

    I am trying to get a list of scriptures backing up Gods call to adopt. I am excited to take more kids, but the attitudes are hard to take.
    This post describes my feelings to the T.
    Thank you!!!

  23. I just have to add here! I have adopted and am adopting from foster care. I do the impossible, with the help of God. I had to jump off the edge of the cliff and trust God to catch me. Very few people understand. Why would a young widow like me ruin their chance of remarriage by taking in THOSE kids!?! Seriously…

    I found another adorable special needs child that needs a home. I want to provide a loving home for her. That would mean 5 under 6, plus daycare kids. I have a huge support group. Yet I am hesitant to tell family members what I am considering, because in their words "you dont have to save the world." " your children will suffer". Etc…
    My chlidren cant wait until we get anotehr child. They have been praying for a baby. Everytime my oldest hears a story of a struggling, hurting child, he says " mom, I think you should let them come live with us, you would love them".

    I am trying to get a list of scriptures backing up Gods call to adopt. I am excited to take more kids, but the attitudes are hard to take.
    This post describes my feelings to the T.
    Thank you!!!

  24. You know what I get even more than the "cost" thing? So many people have such a strong reaction to someone having a large family. I hear it almost daily. And with 5 kids we are only half the size of your family! It's like people think 3 kids are a lot and anything more is obscene. I simply don't understand it. And I can't count how many people have asked me why we decided to have so many kids and how are we going to pay for college. Really? That's their concern? College? Our family was not at all happy with our second adoption (5th child). Solely because of the fact that 5 is "too many". And in fact my mother said to me that if we wanted to adopt any more she hoped we would wait until they were dead. Can you believe that? Broke my heart. I am with you Linny. Simply something I can't wrap my head around. 🙁

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