Yesterday I mentioned that I wanted to share some things that are going through my noggin at this moment. I am confident that the Lord wants to use this present struggle in my life to encourage many of you who are in your own struggles…..but that will only be possible if I share openly. I also want this blog to be my journal, kind of my “scrapbook” to my family, so that someday {when I am very, very, very old and gray} and have gone to be with Jesus they will have this to remind them of our lives together…..so with those thoughts in mind – I must be transparent.
No doubt when the doctor called I was kind of stunned. I don’t know why since the Lord had basically told me what he was going to say. But when the doctor reads words like, “lymphoma” and “carcinoma”, those aren’t fun words. They are downright scary words. They can leave even the bravest, strongest, toughest person weak-kneed. Even with my deep confidence and faith in Almighty God, those words are still creepy to hear. I mean, come on – I am a very human woman!
After hanging up the phone I started to get up to go into Dw’s office to tell him. As I stood I noticed my Bible open on my desk. If you had asked me what it was open to, I would not have had any clue. But I felt impressed to just pause and look…and right there – it was open to this:
David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will hand you over to me, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.” I Samuel 17:45-47 Wow. This battle is HIS.
Dw had gotten up and come into my office when he heard me hang up the phone so we talked for a bit. He hugged me. =) And then we headed home. We had driven in separately so I phoned my sweet friend Deb as I drove. Graham had already been texting Dad while we were at the office saying, “Results yet?” The kids met us at the door and we just spilled it right out. We are a close family. We don’t pretend everything is okay. It’s not okay {in our book} to pretend with our kids. One of our family rules is that we will always be honest about health issues, from the moment anything happens. Always. For our family, pretending doesn’t accomplish anything.
After dinner, I texted my precious friend Tina. I told her I was scared and weary. Tina sent me this: “Oh sweetie, God knows you are scared and weary. The battle is His. No matter how weak and incapable you feel right now — He is ready to fight the fight, and I don’t think He is expecting you to show up in your super girl cape. He’s wearing the cape and He got strength unimaginable………Just breathe and know that the one who has your heart, also has your back!”
I knew the Lord was confirming it: The battle is His. The exact same words from I Samuel on my open Bible on my desk just a few hours earlier. Tina had no idea when she sent that…none whatsoever…..Soooooo….I am preparing for battle. I will do my part. But the ultimate battle is His. All His. Not even sort of mine or kind of mine. It is His.
How am I preparing? Praying. Fasting. And praying some more. Memorizing scripture. All of you who commented and left scriptures? Thank you so much!!!! I am writing every single one out that you commented and posting them around the house. They will be in my kitchen, bathroom, bedroom…etc. They will be everywhere!! {I will take pictures so you can see and post them soon!} My mind will be completely saturated with the truth of God’s word. The truth of who He is. The truth of how He loves. The truth of what He thinks of me. And I will be memorizing Psalm 91 completely as well.
There is something else I am doing, but I think I will save that for a separate post. It is intense, but good.
I am weary, no doubt. If you have read anything about our last 18 months you will know, it is not been a “walk in the park” kind of time.
At the same time, I have unusual peace. I am confident that the only reason I have such peace is because so many of you are praying. Not even sort of kidding. Tracy – you really made me laugh with all those hugs!! And Jenny, I’m thinkin’ maybe I ought to come visit you and have a cup of coffee at your home the next time the ladybugs are due to arrive!!! Thank you, too, to all who de-lurked. I am so very proud of you cause really it’s about time you shy little chickens sweet folks finally said “hey”!! So delighted to meet you!!
I am so thankful for each of you and so thankful for your prayers, kindness and love you have been sending our way….we are so blessed by each of your comments and words…we have read them and cried our way through them…..and we will reread them over and over and over as we prepare for the battle……xoxoxo
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Awww! If I was there, I would give you a big hug! I pray for you whenever I get the chance and I can't wait to see what God does in you and your family's lives! I love you all so much and you inspire me every day!
Linny, I'm sure someone has already left this scripture for you, but it has become my very favorite lately, and I wanted to share it with you. Hoping it will bring you comfort as it has to me…
"For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not be afraid, I will help you. Is. 41:13
Still sending up prayers for all of you…….and sending virtual hugs to you from Oregon………..I'll be back in Durango next week then I'll be able to hug your neck!
Love to you from me! (& lots of hugs!)
Linny,
You are so right and I needed to hear that repeated to me. Do you know I have been thinking and talking to God about this too!? I keep saying, "This is Your battle God!" He is reminding me of how I need to let go and let Him!! I have a habit of trying to fight the battle on my own. Isn't it neat how He gently reminds us of what the truth is?! Praying for you!
Thank you for keeping us posted so we know what your prayer needs are! PRAYING for you! …and delurking:)
Praying for your family. May the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:7
Not only is God in this battle with you – all your bloggy friends are 'there' also. We have your back, front, top to bottom, and side to side. We give you hugs every minute of the day. Some of the hugs are in a prayer, a thought, or a lovely flower that we think you would like. Stay strong you have the strength to fight this battle.
Hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, and a BIG Squeeze!!!
de-lurking :] I just wanted to say, Linny, that your faith has constantly, constantly, constantly inspired mine. I love it when I see that you've updated your blog because yours is one of my absolute favorites.
I've been stepping out of some apathy and discouragement recently. I sat down today and read the first seven or so chapters in Joshua. I have spent this past year learning that God is faithful – and reading in Joshua impressed no less upon me. He is faithful. The stories you share with us every Monday are proof to that. He is faithful. Your life and mine are proof to that. A BarlowGirl song goes, "If You won't take me out, then please take me through this." That's what I'll be praying for you – that if God chooses not to take you out, that He'll take you through. And I know He will. :]
Annie
THe battle is indeed His. Your sweet transparency and faith is a blessing and inspiration. May God grant you healing, strength and peace.
OK here are a couple more hugs before I go to bed.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
{{{{{Hugs!}}}}} I am just catching up on all that has been going on with you. I am so sorry for all the health challenges but thankful that you are in the palm of God's hand and He is fighting the battle for you. May He infuse you with all the strength you need for each moment of every day.
I am sending you virtual hugs across the road. (it would hurt my boobs to hug you otherwise!)
The Battle is His – and all he is telling you to do is STAND.
Stand and see His salvation – after all, He is our mountain-moving, awe-inspiring. . . oh, yeah, it's you who taught me that!
Love you, friend,
KB
Hi: I recently found your blog and have been following since. Like maybe 2 weeks. Anyway I think your story is amazing. It has blessed me. I searched around a little and only found birth info on Emma. Enjoyed reading about hers but would really love to know how each of your 10 blessings came to be. I did read the special posts on the side about the last three adoptions. So anyway, in all your spare time – because I am sure you get bored a whole lot with not much to do and all, and you know since you dont really have much on your mind right now and all. Just to give you something to think about and do, I would love to read about how all of them came into your life. So maybe its already here in the blog somewhere if so, show me. lol If not, you could post about it, I will read. đ I am praying for you and your sweet family. What a blessing to read about your lives. I usually end with "God Bless" but I know He already has blessed you and yours. In my prayers, Cristi
Thank you for sharing. And I'm putting a quote up by my desk…The Battle is His! I am going to read that passage to my husband right now, and tell him your story. He will love it…it is so important to keep that focus. Prayers and hugs for you tonight.
The battle is His… and what's been happening to you reminds me of Job.
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. (1Thess 5:18)
Stand strong. Onward faithful soldier.
Your previous post showing a picture of a bumblebee on a flower, reminds me of something that I read in the past, thought I'd share in here in case it's related (no idea if it's related, but since I thought of it, I'd share, just in case it does relate):
Abraham Lincoln's one visit to New Hampshire occured on a windy autumn day. Out on the New England hillside, where bull thistles often grow taller than a six-foot man, one of the last bull thistles of the season was in full bloom. As Mr Lincoln watched the thistle bending before the autumn gale, he observed that a lone bumble bee was tenaciously clinging to the big bright blossom. Blow as it would, the wind could not shake off the bumble bee. With all patient endurance it persisted in its quest for the flowery sweets until it was satisfied.
God wants you to be like that bumble bee. In your search for the sweetness of the Holy Spirit's indwelling fulness do not let anything shake you off. Hang on with an iron grip and let God hang on to you until you are fully satisfied. God is testing you. The Holy Spirit is far more anxious to come to you than you are capable of desiring him to come. Yet, he can not come in his Pentecostal fullness until you are prepared. Be patient, therefore, and never give up. Complete soul satisfaction is just ahead."
(Taken from The Higher Way by James W. Elliott. (A book on How to Be Filled with the Spirit).
Love you, Linny, may He give you strength and peace through this trial.
Wow Linny… I had no idea, I wondered what a bull thistle was, so I did a google image search, and it's exactly the same flower that you took of, with the butterfly on top, the beautiful picture that I commented on!!!!
Amazing!!!! đ đ
HalleluYah!!
.
Linny, This is part of the devotional that our church sent out via email today. I thought it might help.
âFor I hold you by your right hand — I, the Lord your God. And I say to you âDonât be afraid. I am here to help you.ââ Isaiah 41:13
I recently read that âfear notâ is the most often repeated command in the Bible. It had to be repeated to Joseph, to Moses, to David, to Mary, to the women at the empty tomb, to the disciples in the boat, to the apostle Paul, etc. etc. Everyone knows fear. Whatâs interesting is how people handle it.
In Numbers 14 we read about twelve spies who go on a recon mission into the promise land. All twelve see the same land inhabited by giants they would have to conquer. Frightened, ten say âit canât be done.â But Caleb and Joshua insist yes, it can. âThey have no protection; the Lord is with us,â they say.
In 1 Samuel 17 we read about a young shepherd boy who takes food to his older brothers on the front line of a battle. There he sees the same Goliath they see. But rather than being terrified, he is confident. I can take him, he says. âThe Lord who rescued me from the claws of a lion and a bear will rescue me from this Philistine!â
As Christ-followers we know that God is greater than our fears. We arenât facing them alone but with the God of the universe on our side. Years later that same shepherd boy wrote in Psalm 46:1, âGod is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.â
So, what are you afraid of? Starting a new job? Taking a risk? Admitting youâre wrong? Talking to the doctor? Making amends in a relationship? Owning up to an addiction and seeking help? Remember that most often repeated command in scripture: âFear Not.â
Veda Eddy
It's definitely time this "shy little chicken" came out of her coop, too!! Praying for you and your family! I'm am so glad you have peace and confidence and you grab hold of God's cape and head into this battle!(((HUGS)))
God bless you, Linny. Continue to trust in Him and he will lead you in battle. My prayers are with you and your family.
When we found out Sarah's diagnosis of cancer, I felt like God gave me a picture in my mind. It was of us on a boat on a stormy sea. The sea was raging down under the water. But we were skimming quickly across the top not even feeling the waves. God has been carrying us and our sweet baby across that stormy water so graciously. I almost can't even believe how good He's been. Today for example I could just feel His presence with me all day like He was giving me a huge hug. Talk about hugs–His are the best. I am convinced as well it is because people are praying, and also because we have decided to trust Him. I know He will continue to carry you like He has before. He is so faithful. It is just who He is. He can't NOT be faithful. I am praying for you, sweet friend. Thank you so much for thinking about and praying for us. : )
Lifting you up in prayer Linny
oh Linny….praying unceasingly for you! You are in the Hands of God and He will deliver you! Here is the Streams in the Desert for today:
The Blessing of the Lion
"And there came a lion" (1 Sam. 17:34).
It is a source of inspiration and strength to come in touch with the youthful David, trusting God. Through faith in God he conquered a lion and a bear, and afterwards overthrew the mighty Goliath. When that lion came to despoil that flock, it came as a wondrous opportunity to David. If he had failed or faltered he would have missed God's opportunity for him and probably would never have come to be God's chosen king of Israel. "And there came a lion."
One would not think that a lion was a special blessing from God; one would think that only an occasion of alarm. The lion was God's opportunity in disguise. Every difficulty that presents itself to us, if we receive it in the right way, is God's opportunity. Every temptation that comes is God's opportunity.
When the "lion" comes, recognize it as God's opportunity no matter how rough the exterior. The very tabernacle of God was covered with badgers' skins and goats' hair; one would not think there would be any glory there. The Shekinah of God was manifest under that kind of covering. May God open our eyes to see Him, whether in temptations, trials, dangers, or misfortunes."
Well…if i remember right…you have experienced a real "and there came a (mountain) lion" in the past. This devotion really confirms all that you have been saying, you are receiving this opportunity in the right spirit…allowing God His opportunity. You are precious to Him, to your family and to all your bloggy friends…what a treasure you are! Thank you for being so transparent! Faith IS Rest! The Battle is His! Praying, fasting & love to you and your family! <3 cindy
How awesome! My family is also going through some difficult times and it is easy to let fear take over. I have been so blessed by your post and all the comments. God is good all of the time. Hugs and prayers for you and your family Linny.
Dearest Linny, I can't help but think of Jehoshaphat and that the ARMIES OF PRAISE went ahead and The Lord sent an ambush. As we sing, devote our time body minds etc to The King of Kings then everything is cast down and out of the way. We dont' need to think about it just focus on Him- which I am SURE you are doing already. (2Cor10v5). Am singing for you. x
Oh Linny,
Sending you a barrel of hugs and as many prayers.
Linny, I have followed your blog for quite a while now and I am praying for you friend. Praying that God will give you the strength you need to fight the battle. Thank you for so openly sharing your life and heart, what an amazing testimony it is. You are truly and inspiration!
Hugs Linny!!
I'm stepping out here. As I have been praying God has been bringing Job to my mind. I'm sure you've been feeling like him lately. For quite awhile when praying for your family I have felt like the Lord has been saying that He has "allowed" alot of "stuff" to happen but your very lives are in His hands. Your lives are "off limits" when it comes to your trials. With that being said read Job chapts.38 thru the end of the book. Whew, That's some heavy stuff. I am crying as I write this. I hope it is not off base but I really felt I needed to share it! A weight has been lifted. I hope for you too. Sheri
Psalm 36:5-9
"Thy lovingkindness, O LORD, extends to the heavens, Thy faithfulness reaches to the skies. Thy righteousness is like the mountains of God; Thy judgments are like a great deep. O LORD, Thou preservest man and beast. How precious is Thy lovingkindness, O God! And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Thy wings. They drink their fill of the abundance of Thy house; and Thou dost give them to drink of the river of Thy delights. For with Thee is the fountain of life; in Thy light we see light."
Extends to the heavens…
Reaches to the skies…
like the mountains of God…
refuge in the shadow of Thy wings.
Praying for you.
One of your friends here mentioned Is. 41. When I was diagnosed with cancer and felt so afraid…I read this chapter in a translation I sometimes read..The Message. The words spoke so clearly to me with great comfort and I wanted to share them here
"Don't panic, I am with you. There is no need to fear, I am your God. I'll give your strength. I'll help you. I WILL HOLD YOU STEADY, AND KEEP A FIRM GRIP ON YOU> The part that really carried me throughwas the firm grip. It is evident he has a firm grip on you. It is evident he loves and cares for you with the verses he shared with you on the battle being his.
I will also tell you that today I woke up in so much bone and nerve pain from Lyme bacteria die off that I felt discouraged in MY fight again Late Stage Neurological Lyme Disease…YOUR words shared today about the battle being the Lords spoke to me clearly…yes the battle is His and sometimes I get in the way of it…sometimes I forget who fights for us..
Bless you Linny for being so honest and for sharing this scripture today. I am soaking you in prayer along with thousands of others. All will be well…..God is keeping a firm grip on you while He fights this battle…
I am praying for you, my friend!! (hug) I have to say, you brought tears to my eyes when you mentioned that you were honest with your kids. That is such a brave thing to do, and such a good thing. My parents tend to try to "protect" us kids (even though we are adults with families of our own) and it does not work.
Your kids are so incredibly blessed to call you Mom, and I pray for total and complete healing so that it can be the biggest Memorial Box Monday ever!! ((HUG!))
God brings you to my mind often and I say a prayer for you. I know God is using you and your family in a big way. I know the battle is his and nothing is too big for God.
Love and Hugs
Melissa
Prayers as your family faces this trial. So thankful you reminded me today that the battle belongs to the Lord…a giant AMEN!
I think my comment to your first post about the results didn't get through. I just wanted to know that you are in my prayers, and please get my "cyber" hug.
Love from an ex-lurker,
Laura
Linny — praying for you from a country where so few know our Lord Jesus, the ultimate comforter! Praying that you will experience a peace that passes all understanding. Praying that your blog will touch others in this part of the world and help lead them to Christ, as open witnessing is not easy or "allowed" and media avenues are the best ways to reach this group.
Many hugs from Oman!
Dearest Linny, Girl, I've been upholding you but somehow in the last week or so missed this post. I so understand all the emotions you are feeling and I appreciate your honesty. You see I've been dealing with some elevated liver enzymes-thought they were under control until my doctor called last week and wants me to see a specialist and have an ultrasound. She talked about gallbladder surgery and maybe it being cancer. After hospicing my sister, loosing several other friends to cancer, the word itself sets me into a jumble of nerves. So I am there with you emotionally. Waiting on the Lord to direct because we can't afford lots of tests and specialists. Claiming the Word for His peace and healing. Hugs to you tonight Linny. May His presence bring grace and peace.
Love, Noreen
your love and faith is inspiring, and the thing that keeps going on over and over in my mind and heart is that you are blessed beyond measure. Truly blessed. I will pray for you this week. Pray for Healing, strength, wisdom, for you and your wonderful family. I have come to love this blog and love reading what God is teaching you. Thank you for allowing so many into your home…
It has been on my heart to share these verses with you. It is a passage I wrote down in my own journal last week and as I have re-read it and thought on it I felt that it would be encouraging to you also.
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our heart by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. -Romans 5:1-5
Reading through all of theses comments . . . seeing how the Lord continues to use you Linny, in the midst of your trial, to minister to so many hearts.
I love you, friend.
I keep thinking of your colorful new stool and just smiling big! He is faithful.
xo ~ Tina