I mentioned last week that I was considering sharing something that happened while Dw, Emma and Graham were in Africa. I’ll be honest. All day long today I have struggled. Do I make myself completely vulnerable? Do I just share it all?
ugh.
Here’s why I struggle:
It’s fresh.
There have been times when I pour my heart out at our Place Called Simplicity and only a few make comments. Now, truly, I don’t blog for the comments, but I do appreciate each and every one. And when I make myself very vulnerable? Yeah, well it almost feels like I’ve just laid open my heart and I don’t know what to make of the apparent silence. It’s almost creepy {to me}.
But as I was praying I felt like the Lord said, “Linny, there are women who need to hear this. Maybe even a few men. It’s your story, but it will help others.”
So on that note, here goes.
*gulp*
I have mentioned from time to time how I used to be controlled by fear. My life was one big ball of fear. And then the Lord set me free. It was a powerful time.
Over the years I had much opportunity to cave to fear again. Like the shark, the tornado, the mountain lion, the robbery and the stalker. But each time I stood firm.
I would NOT be a slave to fear again.
Until that flight.
I wrote about it here.
Now I know that the Lord had graciously warned me about it and all that, but truthfully,
I gave in to fear. Warning or not, I did not want to fly again.
{e.v.e.r}
Then it was time to go to Africa for my sweet babies and Dw had just had his surgery and there was no way he could go. I know that was the Lord forcing me to go, and so I went.
I did great and the flights were all wonderful {many of you prayed and I thank you!}.
And we got home from Africa and life was good.
For almost four weeks.
And then our home burned down.
Hmmmm.
The trauma of the fire is still unable to adequately be put into words, so suffice it to say that I couldn’t even think straight, let alone remember the promises of God given specifically for me.
{Like Galations 5:1}
It’s painful to say, but truthfully, fear became a part of my life {again}.
I have never talked much about the weeks that transpired after the fire. The weeks in the hotel. The thoughts. The images. The reality.
I’ll be real honest. The fear was real.
But I tried to pretend it wasn’t.
But I tried to pretend it wasn’t.
And then on January 13th, 2011 {the night before the anniversary of the fire} I had a dream. No doubt, it was prophetic. I woke up remembering all the tiny details. It was so real.
I will spare all the details of the dream, but in the dream were some of our closest friends. In the dream, they were at our home to spend the anniversary of the fire with me {since Dw was in Africa}.
Really, the dream was exactly what life was about to do. Cause when I awoke, it really was the anniversary of the fire and these dear friends really were coming to have dinner with me so I wouldn’t be alone cause Dw really was in Africa. It was so real it was almost unbelievable. And I was troubled. Parts of the dream were really horrible. But in the dream these friends were with me. What did it all mean and what was the real interpretation?
When I awoke, it was of course, the anniversary of the fire and these dear friends were truly coming for dinner. So when Irma arrived I asked her where JD was. She said, “I thought it was just a girls night.” I said, “I had a dream last night and you both were in it, would you please call him?”
She called him and he came a few minutes later. We visited and ate together.
When we were done eating, the kids all ran off to play. I hadn’t wanted to talk about the dream with the kids around. So once the kids ran to play, I started telling them about the dream. It was very detailed and it was very creepy.
I had prayed all day before my friends got there. I had a good idea what it meant.
After hearing all the details, JD said, “What do you think it means?” I said, “Well I know in the dream, I was too afraid to scream because I was completely filled with fear.” With tears in eyes they said, “Linn, we were just praying for you yesterday morning. You are filled with fear.”
It might sound like such a simple revelation, but really guys, it was huge. THese precious friends of ours had been praying and the Lord had shown them just how entangled to fear I had become {again}. The Lord loves me so much that He had shown me in a prophetic dream that would line up almost exactly as the day was about to transpire.
It was one of the most powerful moments in my life.
Together these treasured friends, {and my friend Carie, who was also over for dinner} these three, who had walked beside us {basically non-stop} during the days following the fire, were once again, used by the Lord to bring me to a place of healing.
Right there, we prayed together. I confessed allowing fear to enter and control my mind. I asked Christ to set me free from the chains again. I prayed about some other things that the Lord had shown me in the dream as well. It was amazing. And I felt total peace. True peace.
And courage like I haven’t felt in a really, really long time.
And courage like I haven’t felt in a really, really long time.
Little did I know that the very next day,
my new courage and freedom would be tested.
There is more to the story,
but I will save that for another time.
Maybe next week.
but I will save that for another time.
Maybe next week.
In the meantime, there are others of you that are entangled to chains of fear. Christ came to set us free.
More specifically: If you are fearful about: flying, adopting, marrying, dating, sleeping, staying alone, fire, swimming, traveling alone, memories of pain, driving, etc. He came to set you free as well. Grab a friend, and pray together. Be set free.
“It was for freedom that Christ set you free, therefore,
keep standing firm
and do not be subject again to this yoke of slavery.”
Galatians 5:1
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Hi Linny
Thank you for being brave & sharing some of your heart. Although I don't comment often, I find your faith in God inspiring & I learn so much from you.
Praise God that He does release us from fear – something I also struggle with at times.
Blessings
Renata:)
Linny,
Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this. I struggle every night as I go to sleep with fear – fear that one of my kids will drown, that my older son will give in to his depression, that I will get breast cancer…and these are just from last night.
I told a friend recently that people who have a tragedy happen to them struggle more with fear because they KNOW that terrible things can happen to them. And they KNOW what it feels like to grieve deeply and to have to pick up the pieces.
My sister committed suicide a few years ago, and after the initial shock and anger, the fear and grief settled on me and haven't lifted.
Thank you for reminding me – as someone struggling with faith right now – that God is the only one who can take away the fear.
Alyssa
http://ericksenupdates.blogspot.com/
Linny,
Thank you so much for your vulnerability. Dealing with some fears here, too. Gonna round myself up some friends to pray about it!
Thank you for sharing your story. I just popped over and read your flight post. We're leaving in less than 2 weeks to go to Ethiopia to meet our little girl for the first time (and for our court date). Flying (especially flying away from my children) is really scary for me. Your story is really encouraging. 🙂 I will definitely be praying that Psalm as we go. 🙂
I love you Linny. (Does that seem creepy coming from someone you don't really know? Ha!) :0) Thanks for sharing!
Wow Linny,
Thank you so much for sharing. I have been struggling with fear and anxiety lately. It has been overwhelming, but every morning I wake and declare God's promises of freedom. The only time I feel peace is when I pray or am reading my Bible, therefore God is truly teaching me to hungry and need Him. He is forcing me to be completely dependent on Him and I am thankful for that in this season.
You are a huge inspiration.
Thank you.
Alisa
This post move me to tears and (ironically) I am scared to even think about why.
I don't think of myself as being fearful, but clearly, this resonated with me.
A previous poster said those who have experienced pain, know bad things can happen. I am always afraid of what next bad thing will happen. At times, this fear becomes a reluctance to connect with people around me.
Thanks for posting.
"My chains are gone…I have been set free…" I'm the pastor in NC who loves your playlist (well, and your blog!). It's no coincidence that this is what was playing as I read your post today. You have been through more in recent years than most people have to deal with in a lifetime and you have come through it with grace and strength and have been an inspiration to so many. Fear is real. And powerful. And a natural reaction to all you have been through. Blessings as you continue the journey towards healing…God will indeed set you free 🙂 God bless,
lauren
Thank you. I am in this place of recognizing and coming out of my fear – I had a HUGE revelation last night – and this post is so timely for me, that I know God sent me to your blog today to read it. I will pray for you, and would covet your prayers as well.
Peace (no fear!)
Joyce
Linny,
I needed to hear you talk of your fear. Since meeting you last summer I have so admired how God is working in your life.
We went to Phoenix this weekend for a fellow missionary retirement party and the long drive is always a time for reflection. Full time ministry is still a relatively new thing for me and I have been finding myself fearing that I will fail. DH is just experiencing the time of his life- finally feeling joy and satisfaction with where we are and what God is doing thru us. I am so afraid that I am going to fail Linny – I want to just shout- I give up and go back home to our before ministry life. I don't confess this to DH as I think it would devastate him so just keep it in. I thought of you alot on that trip and wondered why I couldn't seem to grasp whatever it is that I need to grasp (which I know is ultimately Jesus Himself). I feel like such a wimp- am constantly going to Jesus asking for strength, sometimes even experiencing it for little bits of time.
Would sure appreciate a prayer on my behalf friend! I think we are going up Pagosa Springs way in May to help with a hunting camp- I would so love to get together for a coffee or something. I promise not to dump– just get some bits of wisdom from one who's been there.
bee blessed
mary
Thank you dear Brave friend. You have touched me, I am at work so I can't stop to grab a friend to pray, I may look like I am fearless on the outside but inside I am so griped with fear I can't sleep. I am trusting my BIG FAITHFUL loving Father to deliver me from this. AMEN
i wasn't thinking this applied to me until you added the fear of adopting part.
just today i found out that the little boy we are actively working to adopt might be autistic and I am so scared.
i feel guilty and i am just scared. so scared that i am thinking about calling the whole thing off.
i don't want to fear the unknown so much that i loose children that are meant to be mine.
Fear is such a dirty four-letter word. Reading this post made me fearful that my own huge fears were about to realized and God wanted to prepare me. Not exactly right, I'm sure, but that just goes to show you how powerful fear actually is. Its always waiting right there looking for an opportunity to bite.
God "pressed" me today…hard, hard, hard. He let me know the answer to petitioning. I am happy, but part of me is fearful, and I'm not even sure why. No, I do…I started thinking, "What if I'm wrong and this is not really what was said? What if it's just me and I'm somehow going against God?" I know all these things were wrong, but that nasty fear. I've not been very fearful in the past, but lately….yuck!!!
Thank you for writing this. It helps me know I'm not alone and reminds me what I need to be praying. I need to be done with the "what if's"….hugs sweet bloggy frined!
Thank you for sharing your heart, Linny. Reality is scary, but God is sovereign and can remove the fear. I praise GOD for your mighty prayer warrior friends who prayed you through a difficult time. Praise God for FREEDOM! Amen
Thank you for being so transparent because this is just what I needed.
I've been dealing with some spiritual warfare lately at night in my room: dark, moving shadows or smoke and seeing things – or most recently, just feeling the heavy presence of darkness. After every time, I'm shaking and so scared. I don't often blame things on the devil but I know it's warfare. I tried and tried to figure out what's causing it; maybe something I brought into my room or something I need to deal with and found nothing (those who I have talked to say it's because I'm doing – or am in the process of doing – great things for the kingdom and the enemy is combating it). It's just such a burden. I have to sleep with a light on every night and still dread bedtime. I pray and worship and read and quote scripture but still deal with it. So I say all that to say, God and I are dealing with some massive fear issues right now, even outside of these nights. I still say to myself: God hasn't given me a spirit of fear, in ALL things we know we are more than conquerors, NOTHING can separate us from the love of Christ, and God is faithful to his promises and will deliver us…
I think sometimes people don't comment because they are left speechless…often the case for me = ) Hey, maybe that's why I don't get very many comments on my posts! haha, just kidding. Thanks for sharing, though, really…Fear is so binding, and I have wrestled against it a good deal of my life. I'm so thankful you have friends who are able to recognize it in you and struggle with you through it.
Linny,
I'm sorry I haven't commented lately, but I do read every post. Thank you so much for your words tonight, they are just what I needed to hear. I have signed up to go on a missions trip to Kenya, but the thought of the plane going down and leaving my sweet kiddos motherless terrifies me. I now realize I need to give that to God. Why I didn't think of that myself, I'll never know, but know you definitely helped me tonight. Thank you so much. 🙂
Dear Sweet Linny
Your openess and honesty is such a gift to all of us. As I have shared with you in the past, I have let fear control me for so many years in certain areas of my life. Being safe is the biggest one for me…that goes way back to age 6 and I am soon 63. I am so tired of fear keeping me trapped and have been hungary for it to be gone in my life. Fear of being alone overnight, fear of the cancer returning, fear of harm coming to my children or spouse. Like you and others who have had tragedy occur in their lives over and over, fear can take a hold and become embedded in our lives. Tonight I am praying for the chains of fear to be broken in my life and the life of others and will wake every morning I have left on this earth proclaiming God's victory over the fears that have held me captive. I will rejoice in your victory and pray for friends like yours to join me in prayer.
You are a blessing Linny to more people than you will ever know about. Sending hugs and love to you this night.
Renee
It's as if you have a window to my soul. Thank you for this post. 🙂 Many prayers for you! Hugs!
Thank you for sharing this about fear, I have the same issue, fear takes over, and it almost always is for my children, lately it's been for the older ones and the struggles in life they are going through from time to time. I don't often comment because, honestly, I feel that I don't have anything profound to say, I feel that so many more people can say thing so much better than I can, so I read, and I come to your blog several times a day, popping in to see what's going on, if there is anything new, you know I admire you and I always look for ways to use what you say in my own life. I will be praying for fear to not be a part of my life.
Linny,
I am one of those people who reads and never comments. Not because I don't value what you say and find it meaningful, but because one of my own insecurities is that what I have to say is not worth anything. I too have lots of fears– fears of a house fire, fears of something happening to my family, etc. I can be very consumed by fear too. Thank you for putting it out there!
Linny, thank you for the reminder that we can be set free from fears, and that I need to confess this! I was, at one time, not really fearful of anything, but over the last few years, I too have let fear creep in and control my mind. UGH… it stinks! I truly hate it! It keeps me from things I need in my life right now, and things that God is calling me to do.
AND… thank you for your constant vulnerability! This also has become something I struggle with often because of fears. Get this, I even often go to comment and fear stops me 🙂 Seems silly, I know, but I've recently realized that through the fear of man and being vulnerable, the enemy has been trying to silence me.
BUT……………………………….
My Deliverer is the LORD, right?!?!?!?
(what a great reminder from you and your playlist 🙂
So thrilled for you, Linny, that you are being set free, and experiencing a new found sense of peace and courage!!
Thank you for sharing, but you simply cannot leave us hanging with only half the story!!! 😉 I struggle with fear so often as well. I try to let it go, but it comes back to grip me! You are not alone.
Thank you for sharing. I do understand about the comments! I feel that way about my blog sometimes as well!
Linny, sweet Linny… did you read my blog post from yesterday? I ask because of the two words "traveling alone." Oh gracious. Our beloved Abba has promised that He is not leaving me alone, but I will be humanly alone on this trip to Uganda. Without a human with me that I know, instead of the fun of traveling with my friend. Me, this post was one He asked you to post for me. Thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for being obedient. Thank you for getting on more flights in April, so that Abba can answer a prayer of mine that we can meet. (hehe.)
Linny,
Thanks for sharing something so personal. I have struggled with panic attacks and anxiety. Much, much better now than 23 years ago, but sometimes it will hit me out of the blue. I am memorizing scripture with Beth Moore at Living Proof Ministries blog. I picked Galations 5:1 because of you. It really has helped me.
I don't have a blog, but I really enjoy yours. I started reading right after the fire – two years ago. Appreciate you so much.
WOW… I have been feeling so lost and struggling lately! This post is so amazing and touching to me… as your posts always are! Thank you so much for your inspiration!!!
don't you love those God moments when you really can feel and know His presence. The ones you can't explain just exactly how it feels and no one could understand until they experience it. The peace that surpasses all understanding! So happy that you have released that fear…. again. =) He loves that we aren't perfect and always remember to come back to Him for everything.
Such touching comments!! I have gone through spurts of dealing with fear but my bigger issue has always been depression/insecurity (I have never had to go on meds… but only by the grace of God). I am at a good place right now, but I know there will be more struggles. I have often said, and firmly believe to be true "why would Satan change his tactics when the same thing works over and over?" He knows our weeknesses and plays on them to keep us ineffective. I am currently reading Job (ughh) and boy has that stirred some fears, the first morning that I was reading I found myself crying out to God to please not allow bad stuff to happen just because I am following Him! Good thing He takes our weaknesses and makes us strong!!
Thank you for sharing your heart with us on your blog! I don't comment often, but read every day! I believe God has used your blog to strengthen my faith, by your example! God bless you and your sweet family!
Jan, Maryland
Oh my! I almost said NO to God, when I KNEW He was calling us to Ethiopia to adopt…because of FEAR! Fear of flying…and not only that…FLYING ALONE…but praise God, I said YES, and we will begin the process in March…KNOWING that HE is able, when I am NOT!! Thank you Linny, your faith is amazing!
Thank you Linn…thank you for your vulnerability and your willingness to share your struggles with all of us. I struggle with fear right now that is overwhelming…slowly the Lord is speaking into my life and keeps reminding me that fear is not of Him..I am working hard to forgive my ex for the things he did to our family, to forgive myself for the things I did to contribute to the problems, and to overcome an eating disorder that has seen me drop eighty pounds in the last six months…the fear of failure and not being good enough for Him haunts me continuously as I struggle to wonder how He can use someone as broken as I… but thru Christ I will have victory for in my weakness He will display His glory and strength and to His never ending love and promises I will continue to cling…
thank you linny for your honesty, your vulnerability and your testimony. and thank you Papa God for setting this amazing woman free surrounded by love and your light. i am humbled to be able to share your journey with you … even if it is from far away. thank you. =)
Linny,
You are such an inspiration to me and so many others. Thank you for opening yourself up to us all and allowing the Lord to minister through your words.
Bless you, Lisa C.
Hi, I have never commented before, but I love your heart :).
I'm in a bit of shock reading your post. Literally a few minutes ago, I was working on my bible study homework -Beth Moore's Breaking Free – and today was about experiencing God's peace. Then I came on here and read your post. Coincidence or Godincidence??
The last two weeks I have been filled with (literally) nauseating fear. We're finishing our dossier paperwork and these past few weeks have been hard. I've been sick to my stomach with fear – this is so unlike me. I need the peace of the Lord!!
Thank you so much for sharing this today.
Linny
I appreciate your honesty and the story telling. So many of us, including myself, struggle with fear that rears its ugly head when we think it's gone… Thanks for sharing. I needed to hear it.
love,
Lorisa in Greeley
Thank you for being so vulnerable and posting this. I cannot describe how my life has changed since I have been set free from fear. It is so powerful! You are doing the right thing to share and to let us know that we can be entangled again and (more importantly) set free again.
I just went back and read through the comments and had to comment again. I noticed several people (including you) who had a tragedy set off or intensify their fear. For me it was just the opposite. By the grace of God, after the thing I feared most happened (my husband died), I was set free from all fear. I don't quite know how that worked, other than it was God. I just wanted to let you know that a tragedy does not have to be an open door to fear.
Oh Linny, thank you for being so honest and vulnerable with your bloggy friends. I believe fear is one of Satan's greatest weapons–it sneaks up so quietly and consumes so quickly.
I've been struggling with fear lately myself–my fear of losing one of my children. It started the day we lost our almost full-term son. It consumes me now because I'm pregnant again (big surprise at 40 years old). Fear is robbing me of the joy of this new life. Like you, I'm fighting this with prayer and scripture.
I will be praying for you in the coming days and weeks–for peace and for deliverence.
Much Love,
Kathie
P.S. Rejoicing that Tyler is safely home!
Thank you.
When you are this vulnerable and honest, it helps me to have perspective that I may face the same struggles over and over at different times and in different ways throughout my life… and God is always faithful.
I am learning to not let the storms turn me back from crossing the lake to be obedient. And the whole "nets" thing has come back to me over and over and over again since I got to hear your heart last fall.
I have different fears – of failing, of not being loved or being lovable… I love the prayer partners advice – God just gave me my first prayer partner this year and it is SUCH a joy to learn to pray together. Love and prayers from NE.
Umm… I bet it took you awhile to read these "few" comments, huh? 🙂
Thank you friend – for sharing this. I haven't written much, but suffice to say that you sharing about how God confides in us has been something that I've come back to over and over again in wanting my relationship with Him to be deeper.
And about fear? I've been singing "My Chains Are Gone" nonstop these past two weeks. We are in a period of awful and life-changing uncertainty. And there has been a LOT of fear. I am offering up my praise to allow God to defeat this fear in my life.
Thank you again Linny. He works through you.
Today at Bible study we talked about holes in the wall, ways the enemy uses to impede us in our walk with Christ. We listed some of ours. Mine was fear. Fear holds me back from so much. There are times, when it really shouldn't, that it paralyzes me, and it's something mundane and I think, I really shouldn't have been so afraid of that.
My word for the year is fearless. I want to spend this year in commitment to living deliberately and fearlessly, to stepping out in faith even when I'm doubtful. I believe God has promised us Himself as we walk through life, and so I want to keep fear from hindering me anymore. Thank you for sharing this testimony. It is an encouragement to me, particularly in my mission to live this year as without fear as I possibly can.
Linn,
So grateful for your vulnerability! The impact of your heart is much farther reaching than you will ever know.
I've been really contemplating some things that authors Steve and Wendy Backlund talk about in their books, Igniting Faith and Victorious Mindsets. I would love to hear what you think of these books. I've heard Wendy talk about her struggle with anxiety and worry, so now she has trained her mind to "worry with God" about things. For example, what if so many people are impacted for God by my life that I have to wear a disguise in public? What if God's mercy and grace really do overtake me, and what will that look like? What if God blesses me so financially that I don't know how to spend it all? It's almost humorous to turn situations around like this, but it has done tremendous things for my outlook on life.
Love from Wyoming,
Heidi
Linny, I love you so much for being real and vulnerable. It's not an amazing thing, and yet it is, it really is.
I don't know if you really realize how much you have mentored me over the last 2 years. While I don't struggle with fear, there are things in my past that I have allowed to enslave me for years, and God, our faithful, loving God, is healing me of my past and taking off the chains continually.
Thank you. Love you.
i'm so thankful you shared, linny. i hope that it brings you even more peace and that it resonates even more deeply within you after being typed out. He has set you free.
i hate that you had to have it tested even the next day, but i know you know that all for His glory & your good.
i'm especially thankful for this as i had recently begun to fear for the 'what ifs' as i prepare to 'leave' my family for a time to travel to uganda. the thoughts can be crippling. praying now that we may both focus on His truth!
I don't comment often but I thought I'd write today.
I have been struggling with fear and anxiety more than ever before in the last 4 months.
Six months ago today (being Jan 25th, my time!) my little foster sister was tragically kill in a car accident. My mom was leaving the church parking lot – had barely lifted her foot from the break and yet she – 3.5 years – is gone.
I am much older than her (24 years) but her death has rocked my world. How can I love when something like this can come again? Does God truly love me? and then others, will I ever marry? What career to I get? Do I go to school? What for? Do I do missions overseas? Am I good enough for that? I want my life to be different… to be different, I need to trust Him and know His love which aren't connecting right now.
Thanks for the reminder to keep pushing through.. He will work things out for His greater good..
Linny~How you bless us through your honest transparency…voicing what so many of us feel and experience. You voice it so breathtakingly beautiful that there are no words to add or take away…it's a hush that comes over us, the faithful readers, and it's a awe that leaves us mute…(i seriously have gone to leave a response only to find there are no words…) if you could see the tears streaming down our faces and our heads nodding in agreement… you would know how your words washed over our hearts and we experienced again a Divine appointment reading your precious blog…! How we rejoice when you rejoice…laugh when you laugh… and cry when you cry..praying and fasting unceasingly for all that is happening. We may be bloggy friends… but more importantly, we are sisters in the Lord and that is what ties us all together…and the Lord is glorified and magnified because of this incredible blog and you and your amazing family!How He uses you…oh how He uses you….Thank you Lord for all You do here on this blog and in this family! Please bless Linny for her faithfulness, her vulnerability and her ability to express what we all feel and experience as well. The strength of a godly woman is built on a foundation of what she cherishes, practices, waters, cultivates. Love is there, waiting to strengthen–the soul of a great woman depends on Him flowing in and through every day. Bless you Linny for being that godly woman and showing so many of us the face of Jesus every day! love you…!!
Thank you for your openness. Fear is such a beast, it plagues me often…with God all is possible. Your blog is such a powerful tool, you are an amazing wonderful woman of Christ, if fear is holding you back I can't imagine where you might go if you can let go of it. I will pray for you as I know you pray for others.
God Bless,
Bridget
Linny,
Thank you for sharing your heart! Right now I am living with and fighting fear. I know the Lord is faithful. I find myself waking up at night and realize that in my sleep/half sleep I have been singing the refrain from a song on the Casting Crowns cd I got, "Jesus, Jesus at Your feet, oh to dwell and never leave." That's where I am finding my safe place, singing that refrain over and over.
You are such a blessing to me!
Firstly, thankyou cindy (3 comments back) for saying what I wanted to say but hadn't the words! I read every blog entry and sometimes the words to comment aren't there. Maybe I'll just comment with X to show I've been there and liked what you have written!!!
Linny you are an amazing writer and person who I wish I could meet in person, but do you know what I have a fear of meeting you as I wouldn't know what to say!!!! I overcame a fear to comment and write to you on facebook!!! as i didn't feel you would want to talk to me!! very silly I know. Thankyou for allowing us into you life, not many people can be that open and those doubts when people don't comment are the Devil wanting you not to keep doing the vunerably, honest blogs. Keep doing what your doing and thankyou from the bottom of my heart. I feel honoured to be able to know you and write to you.xxx
Linny,
Thank you for your honesty and for opening yourself up. My oldest little chickie just left the nest 2 days ago and I've been fearful for her since she left. My son (just 18 months younger than her) asked "Mom, what do you think is going to happen to her?" I'm being ridiculous, I know…
I don't comment often, but I read every single day.
You don't even know how heavy my chains are of fear. Honestly, I emailed a friend yesterday telling her how fear holds me back from so much and I hate it.
I don't carry nearly as much as I did 10 years ago but I hate how much it holds me down from doing things.
Thanks for your honesty!
The Lord is so beautiful. I am amazed at how much He loves you!!! 🙂 I love, love, love how He is encouraging you and showing you that He is with you. He is awesome! Praise His name!!! 🙂
I wanted to share something. There was something that He was showing me, about my future. I was sure that it was from Him. But then I got gripped by fear that my stomach felt sick. My mind was full of doubts and I questioned, it was like fear took hold of me and my mind. After praying about it with my mother, and needing to praise Him, I was about to take my praise lyrics, but instead took my KJV to find a psalm.
When I opened it, the first thing my eyes laid on, was the words in red by Christ,
"Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith?"
It's little things like this that I so truly appreciate from our Lord.
One thing that helped me in combating this fear, is to praise through it. Praising is a weapon. I remember reading somewhere in the Bible that there was battle coming up, and the Lord told His people to put priets? in front of the army, equipped only with praise music… and the enemy was defeated. Can you imagine? Praise is a weapon that can break through fear.
(((hugs))) I wasn't sure whether to email you this or just leave it in comments section here.
Thank you so much for sharing, and loved, loved your Memorial Box story, praise YHWH!!!! 🙂
Thank you again! Thank you for being so open with us and obedient to the Holy Spirit! Chances are, if we are eerily quiet we are soaking in all that you have shared. I can't tell you how many times you have ministered to me. But, also..I have told your stories to others who have been blessed by them too! We are all praying for you and with you even when we are quiet! Most of the time through many tears! Sheri
Linny,
I love that you shared this…the 55 coments before mine show that there are many of us who struggle with fear. I lived in fear for years and years, still to this day when I have to stay alone at night because of my husband's job I struggle with it. God has used Psalms 91 to help me battle my fear. I love that scripture. Monday night I slept with my word hugged against my chest. Sometimes I feel like His word is all that keeps me going. I love you my sister in Christ!!
In Christ Alone,
Sherri
http://romans12-9.blogspot.com/
Linny,
Thank you so much for sharing this story. You do share so much with us; that can be fearful in itself. But your stories change lives… possibly even saves lives. I praise your strength and pray that the Lord will continue to cover you in that strength to continue your ministry work through this blog.
Blessings,
Jen
We all have things that creep back up on us and it is encouraging to know that you just face it again – take it to the Lord and trust Him to conquer it. Love you sweet friend.
Linny, you are indeed right that God wanted you to write this…at least It think so because I REALLY needed it! I spoke right to my heart as I have lived in and out of fear of different things throughout my whole life too! I try and repeat "for He did not give us a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind" over and over again during times when I feared…but I REALLY thank you for your heart, your testimony of what fear has done in your life and the verses that you gave me and worote on here, i will definitely be thinking and memorizing that galatians passage! ;0) God has really been working in my heart about the flying thing…of course there are still moments the fear comes, but I feel i am doing much better, thank to God, and feel a little better about flying! The other stupid fear i have now is having to raise every single penny in time for the trip in April…so please pray with me about that! ;0)
Linny,
First of all, thank you for calling the me out on not commenting. It is selfish to read and learn (and pray and love) you but not let you know!
Literally chill bumps and tears…thanks for sharing (again). Dreams are something that I am currently struggling with and learning about…you sharing makes me feel a lot less crazy! 🙂 And is an answer to prayer.
Praise God for friends like yours! (We have a few ourselves and it is almost impossible to describe them to fellow believers -sadly- and they are such a testimony to the others in our life.
Thank you!
Like so many who have left comments, I too struggle with fear. Debilitating fear at times. My husband and I have recently felt the call to adopt, and I'll be honest, one of my first thoughts was "I'll have to fly." You know the very real fear that came with that thought. My father passed away when I was eleven, and since then I have lived in constant fear of dying…or of those I love dying. It is a chain I long to throw off…and have been able to for brief periods in the past. Right now is not one of those periods. Thank you for the reminder that it can be done!
I'm an author, and the book I'm writing now and will be shopping around soon is about a woman overcome with fear and how God finally gave her peace. This is something I know about, as I once was controlled by fear myself. Thank you for sharing, Linny, and I'll let you all know if/when this book is published. I pray it will be a blessing to all who struggle with fear.
ok, so i never post on blogs and haven't read them much till recently. only a few and yours is one. the reason why i didn't read them before is b/c they all just seem a very polished and showy glimpse into just the 'good' stuff of a family's life. but yours has an eternal purpose and encourages our family on the journey of adoption. but i think it is sooo important to 'keep it real' sometimes so that you don't just appear to be 'superwoman' and God gets the glory- which i am quite sure is what you want… your posts always always make me give glory to God 🙂 so thanks for being vulnerable, please continue!
I think this is a really good story. I have almost paralyzing fear about flying. This story gives me encoregement to pray with my friends about this. I'll pray for you about your fear too. Thanks for posting 🙂
Ooh Linny thank you! I have to admit, I've been paralyzed with fear so many times. Even here almost 9 months after that whole mess that you prayed me through, it still hits me, and I still get knots in my stomach when I think about it. And then, when my husband talks about going out of town for just a few days, I think "there is no way I can be alone at night." I really needed this.
Linny,
Thank you so much for opening up your heart and sharing from way deep down. I believe God will bless you for being so vulnerable.
Although I don't suffer from fear right now, it could happen at any point. I love the verses that you shared and will mark them as truths to hold on to when I am fearful.
I pray that the Lord will help you break the chains of fear once and for all. Thank you again for sharing your precious heart – I just know you touched someone right where they needed it.
God Bless you!
Tricia
It was another post on fear that you did awhile back that made me come out of "lurkdom." Keep being transparent, Linny. You have NO IDEA how many people you are reaching that are struggling with the very same thing, people (like me) who tend to think they can't possibly be effective for Christ because they have so much fear and anxiety.
Since we have last emailed, our family has applied to adopt two children from Ethiopia. Panic and anxiety are something I deal with anyway, but it has been so much better lately! That is, until just the last couple of weeks. I am battling fear of whether or not we're really supposed to adopt two at once, what if they don't bond with us, what if I give in to panic and fear again and don't parent them well, what if my other kids suffer, what if I freak out on the loong plane ride, etc. etc. I could write a novel. Then I just have to remember that my Jesus is bigger than all of this. If He is big enough to bring us to this point, He is certainly big enough to bring us through it…even if it's the hardest thing we've ever done.
Can't think you enough for sharing your heart and being real. You have had a profound impact on my life, my heart for the orphan, and my battle against fear. Love you, sweet friend, even though I've never met you in real life!
Thank you
Thank you for sharing. I know you touch so many peoples lives including me by being so open. I think you are very brave.
For the past week, I've been fearful about an anticipated reaction that CCAA may have to some information in our homestudy that could cause them to say, NO, you can't proceed to bring your daughter home. It's been causing me to doubt, be distracted, worry, be crabby, etc. Last night (as I have other nights) I prayed that God would give me peace over this and I again acknowledged that HE can move mountains, HE can orchestrate the impossible, and HE is in control. This morning our adoption agency called on the phone to talk. (Dick usually emails and I worried when he emailed me yesterday to say he would be calling in the morning…again anticipating a negative outcome.) But after our discussion, I was reassured, hopeful, and ready to charge ahead. God does place the right people in the right place at the right time.
Karen H.
Thank you for this today. Just last night I wasn't feeling right. I couldn't sleep at all. I didn't have the word for what I was feeling but this describes it perfectly.
I have had serious issues with fear most of my life so I could really relate to your post. In my freshman year of highschool, I developed a severe anxiety disorder and it caused me to be so fearful that I rarely left my home for about a year and a half. My Mom had to homeschool me because I was unable to attend school, the fear made me so sick. After three years of suffering undiagnosed, I finally went to a doctor who knew what was going on and I was put on medication for anxiety. I have to say that I have needed medication on and off over the years and this has been a real answer to my prayers. I am now in the process of adopting again from China, this time two boys with pretty significant special needs. I can not believe that God has brought me this far. He has allowed me to help many other women who suffer from anxiety along with my own father and husband. God has used my fear and suffering for great good and I can see He is doing the same with you. Thanks for sharing so openly.
Thank you Linny!
Gosh – you are such an encouragement to me. I needed to hear this. I am going to mark down your scriptures and go over them tonight – right before I get some work done on a very special website 🙂
I read your blog every day and it inspires me. i am very filled with fear right now and am trying very hard to break those chains.
I love your transparency, Linny! I love the idea for a button, too!! Strangely enough, some of my transparent blogging has led to some ugly blog posts about ME. Not by name, but clearly about me and against me and guess what that led to in my heart? Fear! I am ashamed to admit that it led me to a wholesale dropping of facebook friends that I didn't really know but who were part of this particular community. I made my blog private for a week or so and wondered who agreed with this other blogger, who agreed with me, how would I know? Even now I'm a bit concerned about sharing that much here! Boy, fear can do a number on our hearts, can't it?
Fortunately (in a weird way), I've had a friend's adoption process get nearly derailed and have been much moved to prayer for her. It seems that as I've prayed for her (and a couple of other families in the same situation), I've remembered exactly why I want to keep my blog open and available: to share the wondrous glory of the Lord as He works in the life of orphans. I want to share how five former orphans are thriving in our home. I want to share how people can be part of God's plan for the orphan. I don't want to stick my head in the sand while trying to avoid the arrows flung my way.
Well, that got a little dramatic! LOL I hate how easily I can give in to fear but appreciate so much the reminder you give us that we were set free to remain free. That has long been a favorite verse of mine; one of the first verses I memorized as a new Christian.
Thank you to all the other commenters for their transparency! I'm so glad to be a part of this amazing group of people!
Linny,
Thanks for sharing about your fear breakthrough. I have also been battling fear (it seems like the enemy brings along a new fear when I deal with an old one. I can see it is the devil because the fears are silly. He should just give up!). Anyway, on New Years Day, I had a little breakthrough as well, because I was reading a novel that had II Timothy 1:7. "For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." Then that night my Bible reading plan said it was time to read II Timothy 1. So God managed to get me to read the book and skip the proper number of days on my Bible reading plan so I would exactly end up reading that verse in II Tim. in both books on New Years Day. Wow. I'm still blown away at how much God cares and is able to direct the little things of life to speak to us. Not only did He make the time coincide between the books and New Years Day, but He gave me a new way of thinking about the verse I hadn't thought of before that has made all the difference in fighting the new lie of the enemy. So I have taken that verse to be my verse for 2011.
Thanks for your awesome blog.
Julie
Big hugs. I struggle with fear as well. Lots of prayer has brought me much further along than I used to be but sometimes it creeps back in. Thank you for your transparency. Sending up a prayer.
Our message at church on Sunday was about fear and how we get so entangled in it…and how there really is so little to fear becase our Saviour is always with us. Thank you for always sharing your thuoghts and fears and realness with us!!!
Kahtie
Dear Linny,
thank you so much for sharing this jaw dropping life changing event in your life. I love to hear how God is loving you and helping you deal with fear. It reminds me how much God loves me too. To me you are so brave in how you share your faith, family, and passion for the orphan. You are such an inspiration and yet you are human with struggles like all of us. Thank you for sharing, your bloggy friend, Debbie
you show so much strength always. you are so positive and faith-filled, it's almost hard to imagine you gripped by fear. thank you for sharing an amazing story of courage and obedience.
you are such a sweet soul. one day… either on this side or the other… i'm going to meet you.