Learn From My Mistakes…

I have been pondering something for awhile now that 
I feel just really needs to be mentioned….
it’s a lesson learned, shall we say.

Due to the nature of it all, this has to be 
written in vagueness.  

Yet, the nugget of truth in the midst of it is too valuable – 
it must be mentioned.

Recently something painful was brought to light in 
a situation that I was left to deal with.
It involved betrayal in a very large way.  
It made me literally sick to my stomach, 

“Could this really be true?  
Could this really be happening?”  

As I pondered and prayed, the Lord reminded me of 
something…

Years before, while sitting in the comfort of my own home, 
someone I respect and love had excitedly shared with me about a person they had been introduced to.

There was no reason not to share in the excitement…
after all, this person whom I know was just so excited
about the introduction they had had…

However, as much as I wanted to jump on board 
and share in the joy, I was completely unable
{which is so not like me!}.
Now looking back, I am 200% confident that
 it was the Lord’s still small voice whispering to me, 

“Something is not right.  
Be careful.  
Watch out.  
Warning – warning – warning.”

Being as the person who was all excited
and I understand each other well and mutually 
respect the other, I said,
“I don’t feel good about the person you have met.  
Something is not right.”

They assured me that I was wrong.  

But the feeling in my soul wouldn’t leave.

Days turned into weeks, which turned into months and years, 
yet I never shook the feeling.  It nagged the back of my mind.

Sometime later, when given the opportunity I
was introduced to this person.

The feeling didn’t disappear.  I felt it even stronger.

However, this is key:  


Since someone I love and respect had a good feeling, 
I ignored the yukky feeling I had.  

And that’s the nugget I want to focus on…

If the Lord gives you a warning, run with it,
even if someone you love and respect seems 
to be feeling quite the opposite.

If you don’t feel something is right – 
trust that the Holy Spirit is whispering to you:

WARNING – WARNING – WARNING

He warns us for our good, 
because He loves us so very much.

So what do I wish I had done years ago when 
the Lord first gave me that feeling?

If I could turn back the clock…

I would fast and pray immediately.
I would ask God to reveal further what the feeling is
and why I have it…..

If I couldn’t understand the feeling yet,
I would then ask Him to take away the feeling 
if it’s “just me”…and trust Him to do that…

However, if the feeling remained, 
and I still knew nothing more I would not proceed.

Not one bit – AT ALL.

I then would go to the person whom I 
respect and share all that I just shared 
with you and urge them to
fast and pray to have the truth revealed.  

I am confident that much pain would have 
and could have been avoided
had I trusted the very first feeling He gave me.


Learn from my personal mistakes,
it will likely save you pain.  

11 thoughts on “Learn From My Mistakes…

  1. Oh Linny. So sorry. Betrayal is so painful. Discernment is a gift from God that we need to embrace as you have. Two times that resonate deeply where I did not listen to Gods voice speaking to me with that "this does not feel right" feeling, I regret deeply. One involved a home we bought and money and health lost but the other brought painful results upon our youngest daughter. I am careful now to listen to the discerning voice I hear in my heart and feel in my gut…..like you, praying for confirmation. I hope others have learned from my mistakes too. Keeping you wrapped in love and prayer and giving thanks for your words of insight here.

  2. That feeling is never wrong, is it? I remember two times I didn't listen to it because the specifics really didn't seem that important (just get the earlier train instead of stopping on the way….don't make that phone call right now, wait till tomorrow) that ending up taking some rather large chunks of my young life at the time.

    Prayers for your friend and the situation…..

  3. Ah, Linny! I had the same experience. As a new Christian I became very involved in a small church. After a few years, a new pastor came in. I was raised to respect my elders, first of all. And to respect a clergyman, for sure. But every time I walked out after service, and shook this man's hand in the Narthex, I would get this very disquieting feeling, almost a feeling of revulsion. It was SOOO wierd! I really thought there was something wrong…with ME!!! Then off I went to Bible College, and when I came home my first summer, I told him I was willing to do whatever needed to be done, including cleaning bathrooms, if that was needed. I got involved with the youth leader, and began working there. But every time we took the youth somewhere, the pastor would come too, and always say very belittling things to me. Back at school, I had the opportunity to bring our sign lang. choir to our church. Pastor was called and said that would be great. The week after we went, I got a phone call from a friend in church. Pastor had told the Board (men whom I had known for many years!) that I had just shown up, no idea we were coming. My friend knew me better than that. Lots more very disturbing things happened…and then one day I got another call. The district had been doing an investigation, arrived at the church door and escorted the Pastor out, and stripped him of his license. He was an alcoholic, but also a child and wife abuser, and had gotten a young woman in the church pregnant, as well. It all made sense, but it stole some very precious years from me, where I wondered what was wrong with ME, and then robbed me of my ability to trust pastors, in general. LISTEN TO THAT STILL SMALL VOICE PEOPLE! It was a relief to know that I was being discerning, through the prompting of the Holy Spirt, and not a mean-spirited person. God has gifts for each of us…apparently one that you & I share is discernment. It can be a heavy one to bear…but it is for a reason!
    Love you, my friend!!!

    1. Nancy, this is so interesting! I had a similar experience. One day years ago, in our church lobby, I saw a church leader and immediately was hit with a powerful feeling of disgust. The word "dirty" flashed before my eyes. I only saw him from a distance. I thought there was something wrong with me. I kept having those feelings each time I saw him, but none of his words or actions were inappropriate. I thought I must be really messed up to have these random feelings.

      Several months later, it became publicly known that he was having an affair. He had to resign from his position. I was stunned to realize that I was right. I don't know why the Holy Spirit revealed to me that something was wrong. It has been a powerful lesson to trust my intuition.

      Thank you for sharing, Linny.

  4. oh dear Linny,
    …but you said you did warn them at least the once. and though you wish you had been more vocal about it, at the end of the day they are responsible for not following up even the first warning with some real soul searching. and you don't know that if you had been more vocal, they would have responded in a reactive way to jump in further anyway. This happened to me and thanks be to God that in spite of my reacting against what I was warned about, He still kept me from great pain and harm.

    So, now you are the one who knows even more deeply how this person needs your love and support to come through to the other side of what God is teaching them.

    You are tired and full of the world's needs right now and this adds to the burden. But remember 2 main things…God is the One who is better at carrying burdens than we are, so when He shows us what they are, then we need to take them and give them to Him…sometimes it is more about needing us to be the ones who understand well enough to pray for that person or situation. and the other thing? the Holy Spirit is the One who knows a person's heart. He knows when the person is ready to listen and learn. We can't take responsibility for the times when other people have ignored promptings and warnings – ours or the Holy Spirit's. I am sure you were not the only voice speaking to their heart at the time. If your initial warning wasn't heeded, then neither were promptings of the Spirit. We can pray for people and we can hurt for what choices people make, but they are the ones who have to be taught another way if they choose not to listen.
    and then we weep with them while they weep. and we come to God on their behalf to give them the help to grow through it and even to forgive themselves for what they refused to see.

    And again, refocus on now. I am sure by now you have gone to Him about it. So leave it there and don't let it become something that stops you from the things He has put in your hands now. (I have a tendency to go fuzzy at the edges when I am worn and full of the needs of the world – and somehow fall into the habit of adding even more responsibilities/burdens to my shoulders when I really need to stop – refocus, get refreshed, and realise there are specific things He wants me to do. Certain things He wants me to carry with Him and certain things He wants me to pray for Him to provide someone to carry them with Him.)
    With love in Him,
    Sandy in the UK
    I realise you don't know me and that was a long reply! So, do edit the comment or choose not to post at all if you like.

    1. Thank you Sandy in the UK for your gracious words. The betrayal has been difficult for all…and shocking to most, although not exactly shocking to me. Shocking to me only in a way because I am stunned like WHO COULD EVER DO THAT?. However remembering what the Lord had whispered, I just have deep regret that I didn't pursue urging the person to fast and pray so all this pain and hurt could have been avoided. Bless you my friend.

  5. great point…my husband always has good discernment like that…I on the other hand always have a hard time with it. I always feel bad for the person or something in my heart just feels like maybe there's hope or something there. That is a hard one for me…praying for you and your family..

  6. This is a tender subject for me. I have had these yucky moments and unfortunately we have to remember if the person is a good liar and very manipulative it is hard to get the truth to others. So many people will not listen or think you are crazy. The times I have seen this and unfortunately a big one recently, when the truth finally emerges you still can't wrap your head around it even though you knew from discernment. It makes you feel you were not crazy thinking this about a person that usually presents them self well and is adored by many. I will say you get wiser and I trust myself so much more. Praying for you and I can honestly say I know how this feels. Probably one of the worst things I have been through . Harder when the person is revealed and people still trust and believe their story and you have to watch it.

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