I seriously appreciated each of you who took the time to give some of your
thoughts on what you would have done.
I confess that I giggled when I read what
Randi and Melissa P’P said.
And truthfully, Vicki H – Oh girlfriend!
You made me laugh straight out loud!
And JT – I totally enjoyed that you wholeheartedly agreed with Vicki,
your comment made me laugh out loud all over again!
And Lisa C, whatever your husband means,
I am right there with you!
So here’s what I did….
I was in shock and disbelief at what I had just witnessed.
There was no way I could talk to anyone at that moment.
Like you lori, I needed to go and think and pray.
I was alone and so I drove home to ponder what my next move would be
but I knew that I could not leave it!
As far as I was concerned she had just made fun of the man
who could easily have been my daughter!
And Business-Banker-Lady had not stopped it but in my
humble opinion needed to be reprimanded as well.
When I reached home, I went into our room and
called the bank and asked for the manager.
She was out to lunch but the woman who answered said
she was the assistant manager and asked if
she could help me.
I assured her that I only wanted to speak to the manager.
I gave her my number and asked her to call.
About a half hour later my cell rang.
As I said Hello to her and began to explain to her what had happened,
I began to sob. I’m not joking. I did not cry or get choked up,
but I was stinkin’ sobbing.
It could have easily been our Uncle Mark or our Jubilee…
I tried to get a grip, but I was barely audible as powerful emotions were choking on my words…
As I was relaying the details of the story,
I happened to also mention that there was no way the Greeter-Girl
could deny it because there was a witness to the whole thing,
the Business-Banker-Lady – that is if the Business-Banker-Lady
was truthful!!
I then questioned the manager
regarding the one witness
{the Business-Banker-Lady}:
“Do you know which employee I mean?
She had a ‘flowerdy’ shiny fabric shirt on?”
Her words stunned me as she replied:
“That was me.”
You cannot be serious!!?!?
I almost fell over.
The mean-spirited young whipper-snapper had been making fun
of the customer with the very bank manager!
{Janet C – you called it!!}
And Preppy Pink – no wonder she hadn’t done anything!
I was undone.
My sobbing didn’t end as she went on to tell me that
Greeter-Girl just needs more training.
I explained,
“Actually,
more training will accomplish absolutely nothing,
because the Bible tells us that our words come out of what is in our heart and obviously she has a very, very, very ugly heart.
So it’s really a heart issue. You can do all the training you want, but it will not make a difference until she has a heart change.”
I mentioned that with the high unemployment rate these days
it seems that there ought to be many in the city of Phoenix who
would serve the bank well and not make fun of the customers.
I told her that I would be speaking to my husband and that
we would possibly be pulling our money out of this bank.
She said, “It’s too bad that one bad experience would make you do that.”
I replied, “She was making fun of the customers!
I would never bring my children in – they could be made fun of as well!”
The conversation went nowhere
other than her saying,
“I’m sorry you had to hear that.”
Clearly the bank manager needs heart surgery as well.
I then called Corporate and told them the whole story.
They wanted to know Greeter-Girl’s name and I explained that the
bank manager wouldn’t give it to me – they were pretty surprised at that.
I did give them the manager’s name.
So the other day I happened to be talking to a casual
friend of mine who is a Psychologist. I just had to get her take on it all.
I had one main question for my Psychologist friend:
“Don’t you think that the Manager is making fun of customers as well
since Greeter-Girl thought it was okay to do it with her?”
She agreed completely!!
Then my tender-hearted Psychologist friend spoke,
“Oh how sick it makes me.
Just imagine all that that young man has had to
overcome to be able to ride a scooter alone to the bank!”
And when she said that, I started to cry all over again.
She knows my Jubilee and together we pictured:
If my sweet girl were ever able to ride a scooter that would be monumental. If she were able to ride alone somewhere that would be over-the-top. If she were able to do banking?
It would be the equivalent of walking on water.
Oh friends.
It’s been weeks, but my heart still grieves and as I’ve typed this post
I’ve cried all over again.
The injustices done to people with special needs are despicable.
May God grant us the courage to
Be Their Voice.
No matter what.
And truthfully, as the mom of many special treasures, I would rather hear of someone who handled it the ‘wrong’ way
then to hear that someone,
for fear of handling it wrong,
did nothing.
That is awesome can't wait to see what happens next. I figured that other lady was probably someone so called important. It will be interesting to see what happens. I would take my money out too as well as taking my treasure down so she can see how precious they are. Ggggggrrrrr.
Even though I had watched it unfold, I never imagined she was the manager!
Knowing that that was the manager involved, I wouldn't hesitate to move my banking elsewhere. I've had mean comments made about my physical disabilities many times before, and I'm thankful to have a mom who always immediately stood up for me and taught me to defend myself. I don't have any mental handicaps, and so it stung badly when I was little, but all that practice of seeing my mom call people out on their unkindness and teaching me to do the same has helped me learn how to not let it ruin my day. You can't control other people's actions, only how you respond to it, and I'm thankful for how you responded on behalf of that young man!
Thank you Mallory!
I did not see that coming that she was the manager! But I am not at all surprised that she brushed it all off and made it about you "having one bad experience." She is setting the tone for the company/office/branch. So it's not a shock that if the leader is OK with being rude and mocking customers, that everyone else will follow suit. No employee is going to speak that unprofessionally or casually to a manger unless the manger first sets that tone. I totally agree with you that she likely speaks that way about customers (and everyone else she sees in life), too. How sad! Needing heart surgery is a great way to put it!
I sincerely hope the HQ office takes this matter to heart. Though if I had to put money on it, they will fire the greeter and keep the manager. Even though none of that would have happened if the manager had set a proper example in the first place.
KK @ Preppy Pink Crocodile
The manager does set the tone. No wonder the girl would make fun! I was completely in shock that she was the manager. The HQ office took the complaint and acted very concerned but I have not heard a response. I am hoping to call again and see. On a scale of 10 {being the worst} it was a trillion in my opinion!
Heart-breaking. 2 of my sweeties will most likely be "Scooter Guy". Sadly, I have to teach them now that some people have issues of the heart. My 13 yr old already gets it when he goes into stores (the looks, the stairs, the giggles) God protects his heart and I pray often for guidance over my tongue. Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Hebrews 13:2
The Scooter man was so gleeful and I know in his mind, she was his "friend" which made it even more upsetting to me. Betrayal!
This is absolutely sickening. So, so, so incredibly sad. It disturbs me horribly that the young greeter thought that was acceptable, but it's even more disturbing that the manager thought it was ok. I would definitely have to pull my money out of that bank.
Even though it is a pain to pull the money and get new checks made, etc, it is about principle.
That is beyond sad. There are SO many people who seem to have managed to grow up and into adulthood with a complete lack of compassion and conscience. It's not only sad, it is frightening. I remember not long ago seeing a story about a girl being raped outside a school in view of many other teens after a dance, and not one of them called the police. They just watched, and I believe she was raped by multiple people. One of the kids told his sister when he got home, and she is the one who finally called the police. That is one of countless stories I have heard where no one cared or just laughed off a terrible situation. These two ladies need some training on dealing with people who are outside the norm but still as valid and as valuable as anyone else. I doubt that it would do any good but something needs to be done. I am glad you pursued this beyond the bank manager.
The world has gotten so out of control {your rape story}….I am just sickened by it all. No I doubt my calling the manager did any good and she would not give me Greeter-girl's name. I haven't been in there since. I also wondered if she was her daughter perhaps?? Or niece or someone who had her wrapped around her finger?
My husband and I discussed this when you posted the first post. He said he probably would have done nothing as well. Until I mentioned that what if someone were making fun of an autistic person the same way. You see, he has an autistic brother. It really struck home with him then. I mentioned that if he would stand up for the one why not the other? We had a long open discussion about this, especially about how we should the example and how we would teach our children to act and it was good. Thank you for the jumping board.
I didn't get the chance to post how I may have re-acted due to our long discussion. I say "may" because unless you really face the situation you can really only say how you hope you would re-act. Anyway, Lately I've been finding myself saying things that my shy self hadn't had the courage to say before. And while none of the situations regarded someone with special needs or adults for that matter I still have been amazed at what I think the spirit has been asking me to say. I've read that bullying MUST be stopped with our voices. Children need to say something when they see an injustice, and adults need to be a voice when they see a child mistreating another, even if the child is not their own (I believe adults also must respectfully challenge other adults when they see an injustice, IF the situation is safe enough to do so). Both instances the children I encountered were unsupervised but still, I didn't KNOW these kids but gently and firmly told them how they were sadly wrong in their treatment of another. My kids were surprised but glad. They were uncomfortable with the situations.
Sooo… that being said I hope that if I couldn't speak at that moment (cuz' I know how you feel) I would have called the manager to discuss it just as you did. If I had been able to speak, I hope I would have been able to voice my concerns without sounding angry, but rather concerned, upset even. I told my husband I may even go so far as to say that, "I know the second I walk out that door I'm going to be your victim too and that really doesn't make me feel comfortable doing business in a place like this." Pointing out the fact that I knew that speaking up would make me a target as well.
Sad, sad world we live in, but I truly believe what you did was God-led. You had to have that lady thinking even if she didn't seem to care, I'll be her "conscience" is still going to be bothering her for a bit.
Blessings! And thank you again for posting this, it's good to talk these things through and think about them.
I thought it was really cool that you and your hubby discussed it. Really cool. And you are right – a sad, sad world today.
I do hope that the manager did do some thinking about it – as she stood in the unemployment line!! hahahahaha.
Linny, All I can say is thank God that He allowed you to stay home with your special needs children and you had the faith to trust Him. Otherwise your heart would be breaking every day.
What those ladies at the bank need is what we all need – Jesus to reveal to us how wicked our hearts really are and how much we need our minds renewed. Jeremiah 17:9
Yes, I agree. My heart would be ripped to shreds daily if I was in the world.
Rejoicing at the miraculous news out of Atlanta! But such despairing news from other places in our world reinforces the need for prayer and wisdom and calm leadership…
The news out of Atlanta is amazing!! All praise to the Lord!
As for the news around the world? Frightening, apart from God. No wonder the Lord told us to 'pray without ceasing'.
Horrible, Linny. It makes me extra proud that our 15 year old grandson just spent a week on a mission trip in Nebraska helping mentally and I believe physically challenged and he loved it! Wants to go back. We need more love and less hate in our world!
Yay – for your grandson Renee!! What a blessing!
Oh Linny what a horrible experience you had to go through! WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!! I work with special treasures and reading what happened just hurts my heart. Because that young man could have been any one of my kiddos. And yes, what an accomplishment for him to ride his scooter and do his own banking! Most of my kiddos don't even recognize the worth of a penny, dime, nickel, for one of them to be able to do their own banking at some point in their lives, then to the employees of the bank make fun of them…breaks my heart.
Sending you a hug,
~Suzanne
Yes, it was such an accomplishment for him to be there. My psychologist friend was so gentle when she spoke those words, "Imagine what it takes for him to ride his scooter to the bank – let alone do banking." Such truth. I am going to be calling the manager again. I am going to share what people around the world had to say about that day {in the most vaguest of terms} and I am also going to tell her about my Psychologist friend's words {that she has done it before and that's why the Greeter-girl felt comfortable doing it as well} and then about how much it must take for him to get there. She needs to hear those thoughts as well.