I Didn’t Deserve This

There are just some days….
Do you know the kind I mean?
The very sort of day
 where powerful emotions overtake
and all one can think is,
“There is nothing I have ever done to deserve this.”
Deserve what one might ask?

The inexplicable joy and privilege 
of mommying all these treasures
and the love that they shower 
right back to me.  
If I loved anymore I would literally burst.
Having been in Uganda now for 
a couple of weeks
I am so grateful for Skype 
and getting to talk to my treasures at home
and well, this girl,
Oh Me.

Check out her face when she knows I am on Skype.
She is squealing and downright giddy.
She misses mommy.
I told her I was going to visit Emma.
She seemed okay with that.
Or at least, she didn’t give me the cold shoulder.
 Then there is this girl…
Big crocodile tears rolled down her cheeks just 
before I left for the airport…
I had to reassure her I was only 
going to visit Emmy.  
I was not ‘leaving her’. 
Just a visit to one of your sisters, sweet one.
But she’s been daddy’s right arm.
And she radiates when talking to me.
Such a beautiful little one.
I surely didn’t do anything to deserve the
giddy joy of being her mommy.
The pictures of the others didn’t work quite so well,
but their smiles were evident.

Pixilated and not-such-a-great-connection,
yet, 
her smile shines through.
I am one blessed mommy and
no I surely didn’t deserve it.
Not one bit.
But oh how grateful I am for God’s amazing grace
to allow me such a privilege. 
I cannot ever stop thanking Him enough.  

3 thoughts on “I Didn’t Deserve This

  1. Love this post! Through God's amazing grace we have a very special treasure that we have been entrusted to parent and it has been the most unexpected, but joyous journey. We have also been entrusted to care for some amazing foster kiddos and I am forever thankful for that part of our journey too!

  2. Amen to all that you've written about your Treasures, Linny!
    I feel the same about my Bigs, my Little, and my precious Daughter in Love. I am so very blessed with them and what God has entrusted me with.

    God Bless you all,
    hollym. 🙂

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