He is NOT a Deadbeat Dad {Part 1}

Over the years I have had literally hundreds of emails from families who want to adopt, but find themselves worried, fearful and immobilized by the financial end of it all.

Friends, listen up!

In the last 28+ years {since we began adopting}, we have NOT met one person/couple/family who found a treasure, began that treasure’s adoption yet had to bring it to a halt because they couldn’t provide the resources to bring that treasure home.  We’ve not met ONE.

However, on the other hand, in the same 28+ years, I think I can remember two people who had the full amount for an adoption in hand before they began their adoption and each of them had received an inheritance and used their inheritance to bring a treasure home.  What an inheritance they received, right?  Worth far more than any monetary value!

That being said, let’s figure this whole thing out.

How can we possibly pay for an adoption when there is no “left over” at the end of the month?

Here’s some thoughts on it all…

Our lives are not our own.

We were put on this earth to love God and serve others.

In fact we show our love for Him by serving others.


God’s word tells us in James 1:27 that “Pure religion is to care for the orphan and widow.

Friends that’s all it says.  It does not say, “Pure religion is to be a pastor, be a Bible study leader, be a worship leader or be a women’s ministry director….” Nope.  Not one of those.  It says “care for the orphan and widow.”

So if caring for the orphan and widow is so close to Almighty God’s heart {closer than being a pastor, Bible study teacher, worship leader, women’s ministry director…}, do you really think He would tell us to care for the orphan and widow and not provide for us to do so?

Come on!

Picture this:

I gather my big kids and I say, “I want you to take all the little ones to the park today.”

And suppose my big kids said, “Ummm, okay, but mom, the car is empty.  It won’t even move.   It’s been sitting in the same spot, bone dry for months – completely out of gas and Mom, you know we live miles and miles from the nearest gas station.”

Now can you imagine Dw and I saying, “We know it’s out of gas.  We know we live a long ways from the gas station.  Now take the kids to the park.  Figure out how to get gas in the car yourself.”

Seriously?  What loving, caring parent would do that?

On that note:

Would the God who loves the orphan more than we could ever imagine, ask us to care for them and then not provide the resources to do it??

Not a chance!

He is the faithful provider!

He is ‘father to the fatherless’.

He IS the orphan’s father


He is definitely NOT a deadbeat dad.

Can you seriously imagine the God of the Universe, the maker of Heaven and Earth, dangling a little treasure {or cluster of treasures} before our eyes and sneering:  “This is what I want for you, but you’re gonna’ have to figure it out yourself?”


He is the loving Father who adores the orphan.  But He doesn’t just leave it there.  He adores you too!  In fact He has you on His mind at this exact moment as you read this.  He has YOUR best in store for you.  {Yes, even in the darkest valley, He is STILL working behind the scenes on your behalf.}

He doesn’t stir our hearts for the orphan and then dump us on our head!

He stirs our hearts for the orphan so that we can have His best.

Think about this:

His heart is for the orphan…and when we purpose in our hearts to care for the most precious of His treasures, then our hearts line up with His heart and He provides every single penny we need.  

There are no exceptions to that!

The God of the Universe loves the orphan, loves you 
No, He is definitely NOT a Deadbeat Dad!  

{But how does He do it?  Part 2 Tomorrow}

70 thoughts on “He is NOT a Deadbeat Dad {Part 1}

  1. Oh thank you so much for this post. My husband has agreed to another adoption as long as we don't go into debt (we got a bit ahead of God on the last one 🙁 Anyway, I am now trying to figure how we can do this. I want to trust, but sometimes it is so very hard. I fear we may have to stop due to lack of funds and that scares me. Thanks again!!!

  2. I hope you didn't mind me putting on here how he provided for us. Just 1 MONTH after returning home with our two new treasures God shoed us we were to return – REALLY?!?! Ok, if this is His plan we will accept and figure it out later. Do you know after we finally got our taxes done – in which BOTH my husband and I thought we would have to PAY, we instead got a REFUND?!?! I still have no idea, and I am not asking the accountant how that happened (she is honest so I know it is legit) but there we stood completely funded for our baby we are bringing home in about 6 weeks!

    1. Yvette! I am so thankful you told us that He did it AGAIN right after you returned from bringing two home. Seriously, your stories are the ones that we need to hear – they build faith!

  3. Ahhh, that reminds me I need to send you a picture of our treasure we came home with last month. Another one of God's amazing stories all the way around. I too have MS and had breast cancer and we were BROKE but yet still as I type There is a precious little one playing with her big sister on the front porch!!!! God is soo good! Took some creative financing and sadly some loans at the last minute but we did it!

    1. Listen up! He is NOT disappointed in you. He knows we are humans…but He has a better plan. Memorize scripture and repeat often – Isaiah 26:3 "He will keep me in perfect peace when my heart and mind is STAYED on Him"…{personalized, the way I say it often}…and THEN start thanking Him for the provision the first times…and thank Him that you KNOW He will do it again. It's called faith and yes, you can turn your doubting and fear into trust and faith through REMEMBERING and THANKFULNESS and scripture! Now you know you know what to do – so DO IT!

  4. Oh Thank you Thank you Thank you for this reminder. My husband and I are currently adopting from Haiti and the money has been there every step of the way but now we have a $3000 bill sitting there with no more money in our Adoption fund. I'm stressed to the max and just need to give it to God. Even though we've never met and are thousands of miles apart I've been wishing I could just sit down with you and talk about this. Well I guess God took care of that too. Thank you for your encouraging words.

  5. Oh Linny, perfect timing….I have been in such a worry, doubt, fear mode the last couple of days..thinking of ways to fundraiser etc. I have faith on so many things, but then get so anxious on this. I just got home and while driving I was praying just on this…thank you thank you thank you. God does have this I ave to let go of this worry. Blessings..luv u.

    1. Love you too Sherri…and read what I wrote to Love for Lily Yan a couple above. It all applies to you as well…You have seen Him provide for all kinds of things…and He did not bring you to the point of adoption to dump you on your head. He is faithful and He HAS a plan!

  6. I have adopted.

    I also believe we are to care for the widow and the orphan. But my problem is when the child has a parent alive how are we caring for the widow? Can we really deny half the command? It seems to me that a pregnancy and birth is dangling the treasure in front of a person just as much as the desire to have a child in our heart. If my child were cared for in a feeding center because my husband died and we were food insecure their adoption would be a permanent physical separation and I would not feel cared for at all. I'd be already hurting at the temporary separation of the feeding center.

    1. That's why our ministry {International Voice of the Orphan} works to resettle where possible. We also work with "widows" {true widows where their husband is deceased in Kenya and Uganda to allow them to become self-sufficient to keep their children. But not all parents want to keep their children or think it's in the best interest of their child to stay with them. Here in the United States moms give up kids for many reasons including medical situations that are too overwhelming for them. And there are still millions of kids abandoned each year…and there is no parent sitting around the corner watching someone pick them up. They left them, sometimes in the most despicable of places because they just don't care. Each situation is completely individual and we will help resettle anytime that is an option. There are thousands of people around the world working to help the "widow" keep her kids…and although we are just a small ministry getting started, we are committed to that!

    2. How come they need to be self sufficient to keep their children but money can fall from above for us to be the one to parent that child? The reason they are abandoned is there is no social system and the model of charities is to collect the kids and give them food and medical care and education. It is good people are feeding and educating kids but the parents need that too.

      Very few moms in the US place kids. The older kids in the system were taken getting shuffled among relatives and foster placements and only about 2% of unmarried women place infants.

  7. Ahhhhh Linny… can't wait to read the rest… As we wait to head with a Go Team and as we wait to adopt again… Sometimes I think… God I can not wait to see you fully provide… He is so good and gracious! It is an adventure trusting Him for sure!!! God's peace friend!

  8. There is also adoption through foster care. We have begun the process, and won't have to pay more than it costs to fill up the gas tank and drive to appointments.

  9. So timely. I love how that happens. I have had this fear that at any moment the rug is just going to get ripped out from underneath us and we will be left all alone. I know without a doubt who that fear comes from and I continue to give it over to The Lord and meditate on scripture that proves His eternal presence in my life. The Psalms are great, but as I've been navigating my way through the entire Old Testament this year, I'm finding that His Word is full of those promises over and over and over… Thank you for the encouraging response to my last comment. We do spend a lot of time together as a family; probably more than the average family. My sweet hubs works from home and I homeschool our children. We are very involved with our church and ministries within. We are just working our way through a "funk" right now. The enemy knows where we are most vulnerable and right now we need peace more than ever.I know The Lord will use this time to strengthen us as we get ready to add 2 more treasures to our nest:) thx for sharing this.

  10. Today you were God's message to me! We adopted an amazing little guy in March, after a 2 year wait, and God provided every nickel before we needed it. This summer we got a "sibling call", and jumped at the chance to keep our son and his new baby brother or sister together. This is a huge risk for us, and we have a big fat ZERO of what we need financially to pay for this new baby. I KNOW God can and will provide, but waiting to see it happen is nerve racking! Thanks so much for this reminder that He can and will provide for his little ones!

  11. Can't wait for tomorrows post. This is such an answer to prayer for so many. I certainly didn't have the funds to bring my girl home but He provided every step of the way.

  12. Your post has definitely encouraged me to trust the Lord as big changes occur in our family's life. Thanks for reminding me how our Father (mine and yours) carried us through two adoptions from China a few years ago. I needed that reminder as I draw closer and closer to living by faith, and dealing with fears about leaving the perceived security of secular employment. Thanks very much! -Jim

  13. This is wonderful. Thank you so much for posting this! I struggle with the faith to do so, but I have felt drawn to orphans and adoption for some time. I am anxiously waiting for your part 2!

  14. AMEN! We are weeks from traveling to adopt our son with Down syndrome from Serbia and still needed $5400. Some awesome friends made a short video of our story and started a fundraising campaign, this week. They launched a website and fb page with the video at 10 a.m. on Tuesday. By the next day at 11 a.m., they had raised $5500!!! We were FULLY FUNDED IN 25 HOURS!!! God is GOOD!

  15. I truly believe what you are saying. The problem is my hubby is not a believer (I pray for this daily) so money continues to be an obstacle for another adoption. I am guessing God will change his heart in his time but I am sure struggling with waiting.

    Great post looking forward to reading part 2

    1. You may fast all the time, but since I don't know you, here's my word: Fast and pray for God to move on your husbands heart, drawing Him to Christ. Don't nag. Don't whine. He will come to Christ as He sees Christ in you. But I strongly believe fasting and praying is key.

  16. Linny, I'm not trying to be contrary here, but we had a child/children we wanted to adopt, but found out from our social worker that we did not qualify financially. It wasn't a matter of the ability (or not) to pay for the adoption fees, we didn't financially qualify to adopt. Period. I'm not sure where this fits in with what you are saying, but it needs to be said that there exist those who want to adopt and have a team at the ready to help raise funds for the fees, but don't have the income required to even begin the process. There exists this sad, and often overlooked, segment of the want-to-adopt-but $$-is-in-the-way community of orphan lovers.

    1. I wish we could sit and have coffee because I would love to chat personally…

      Yes, there are times when incomes prohibits some countries…BUT there are kids in foster care, private adoption, other countries where income does not matter. Some agencies will say "no" to some families…and I would suggest a different agency. Always the possibility as well of fasting for God to move on that agencies heart to be willing to pursue a waiver…of course, I have no idea what country or the exact circumstance…BUT if you are convinced that that sibling group is God's plan for your family, I still stand my ground that God is not limited to "agency rules" or "country rules" or any rules at all.

      His mighty power trumps it all.

      When China said "no" to us regarding Isaiah AFTER they had given us pre-approval…our agency said, "there is no appeal for Chinese adoptions – go home and forget him." We were hysterical. He was OUR son. They would not advocate.

      So we fasted and prayed. The Lord had us contact our home study agency {Chinese Children}…and we asked THEM about an appeal. They said, "There is no formal appeal process in China, but that does not mean you can't try." They gave us a ray of hope and as far as we are concerned they are the BEST agency there is!!

      The thing was that we knew that we knew that we knew that Isaiah was ours and we would have went to the ends of the earth to get him home. So we made a video, set to music. We sent that and an entire boatload of stuff to China to appeal, including an apology from our agency {not Chinese Children} for their screw-up that had made China pull the plug to begin with. And we waited. From March 19th to May 29th we did not hear one single word from china. We fasted. We prayed. Around the world friends fasted and prayed…and {I cry as I type} on May 29th in the wee hours of the morning our agency called and said, "China has reversed their decision, you may have your son." This is the agency who said, "go home and forget him."

      God had told us Isaiah was ours. He didn't say, "here's your son" {dangle him in front of us} and then say, "ha ha – you can't really have him."

      And lastly, I would ask anyone who comes to me and says that they want to adopt but don't have the money…"Do you tithe?" If the person then said, "No," I would say, "God is not obligated to do anything for you." He says He will pour out in abundance on those who obey all of His words and tithing is part of that.

      In our 20+ years senior pastoring we met plenty of good, Christian people who "didn't agree with tithing"…or said "we can't afford to tithe"…and we watched those same people struggle with finances the entire time we pastored them. Tithing is the only place in scripture that God says, "Test me in this"…and speaking for Dw and I, in 34 years married we have been 'jobless' {law school, seminary, planting a church, IVO} for several of those years, sometimes with quite a few kids…and each and every time, we tithe on every single dime that came to us…and each and every time He has been completely faithful and we have now adopted 9 times.

      Like I said, I would rather have this conversation over coffee, and actually I am standing typing, so sitting down sipping coffee sounds way more fun…but I pray you receive my words with love, because that's all they are sent to you with. I pray that God will make a way "when there seems to be no way." Bless you my friend.

  17. Seriously…thank you this is such a word for me right now as I navigate taking care of the three I have adopted and trusting his provision and guidance. Thank God there is a heavenly Father who sees and knows and provides. We prayed for you guys tonight and are so thankful for you and the knee team. Love you guys! Lori

  18. Amen! If others want to help but feel they are not able to adopt, please ask them to donate to non-profits that provide grants for families who adopt. Mine is Open Hands Adoption Partnerships -www.AdoptionPartnerships.org but there are many avenues to help others in the financial part of this task. All are called to help provide for the orphan and we can all be a part of the task!

  19. I'm a frequent reader, but not a frequent commenter. I just have to say thank you for posting this. I've had a heart for the children of Africa, and for orphans in general since I was a child. My husband does not share my vision. It's a hard road to walk sometimes. We have three children biologically and one on the way, and I am intensely grateful for those blessings…but my heart still craves adoption!! Thanks for the encouragement…I'll keep praying.

    1. Fasting moves on husband's hearts like nothing else. You are pregnant, but fasting in a partial fast is a way. Bless you. And another idea is sending your husband on a missions trip…{IVO takes teams to Africa and we have four trips planned for next year as does lots of other groups}…nothing stirs a heart like seeing a bazillion little treasures needing a family!

  20. Linny,
    How fitting! My wife and I are in Kampala and just had our court date for a little boy and girl yesterday. Everything went well and we're fairly certain of a ruling in our favor next week!


  21. Love this post Linny. We watched God provide miraculously to cover our adoption!! When He called us to start it we were the most broke we'd been in our adult lives. Yet His plans to pay for it were already in the works–as we discovered about a year later. Can't wait to read part 2. Love you friend!!

  22. This post is perfect timing. There was just a discussion on facebook yesterday about a sibling group of 7 from Kansas (I think that's the state) who need a forever home. So many people commenting on their picture kept saying, "Oh, I would if I had the money, BUT…." As I've been reading your blog and a couple others, I know that excuse holds about as much water as your average sieve. It was amazing how the discussion then evolved from the "I wish" to the "We did and here's how" and "God ALWAYS provides for those He calls". What's super fun is that a few of us made reference to YOUR story. So I have a feeling some folks will come over here and visit, and they will find this post just a day after wondering how in the world they could possibly afford to bring home seven children at one time.

    1. Those who have walked the road have to be the voices for the orphan saying, "We adopted when we had nothing and God provided every.single.penny." Be the voice! It can be done because HE IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL. xo

  23. Thank you for this post. We are fundraising for our Ethiopian adoption and I get anxious when my eyes are on my own efforts. This reminded me to keep my eyes on the Father who loves those little ones and who WILL provide for our adoption because He loves them and He loves us.

  24. I so enjoyed reading this and know exactly what you mean as we have two beautiful adopted daughters and working on a third one and we WOULD NOT have them if not for our Heavenly
    I am anxiously waiting for Part 2 🙂

  25. I have read part one and two. Blessed my socks off. We are still waiting on a referral for Ethiopia and God has miraculously provided what we need for this adoption, but NOW we are raising funds to move to the mission field. Even though I SAW Him provide for our adoption, I find myself anxious again like the Israelites in the wilderness. The part (maybe in the part 2 blog) about "what if you're the 454th family and God only could provide for 453" really spoke to me. I feel sometimes that maybe our adoption financial miracle was our one shot, and maybe I can't expect for another one. But this is bull! He is still God. He loves the nations! He provides over and over and over and over. Thank you for the encouragement.

    1. Awww, put your sock back on! {*giggle*} Well that that 454th comment was for you from Him cause it came out of nowhere while I was typing the post. Be encouraged. He is NOT a deadbeat dad…praise Him, thank Him and watch Him provide!

  26. After reading your post, I spoke with my hubby and told him about them and that God simply provides because he cares so much. And he provides miraculously – not just the "all things came from God and therefore pinching pennies from our stretched budget and going in debt that we will eventually pay off is gods provision". We have been talking about Hubby going on a trip to Russia in Nov to meet a few orphans there witha group that does older child adoption but we don't have The money. Yesterday hubby agreed he would definitely go if the money is provided. So today I'm fasting and praying about it. Please pray with me. This is our fleece, and may Gods will be done.

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