Yesterday your guesses were the best!!

I laughed heartily when I read Laura’s Facebook comment: “Between reading your suspense laden posts and all these comments, I think I’ve developed a slight headache.”  Still giggling as I type that.

Linda and Teresa  – Both of your comments made my heart smile. See!! I knew some friends would love it! xo

Areli!  My in-my-neighborhood true life friend (we all go to church together)…in fact she and John have come over for dinner (she brought it – how amazing of a friend is that?) but I really laughed when you posted,  “Tired of coming up with crazy ideas that John says are way off….”

Elizabeth – That, my dear, would be a dream come true!  If only.

Joy and Maureen – First Hesitations?  Now that’s a new one – too funny!! Is that book in the “You-American-Standard-Version”?

Glenda and Stacie – nothing like mom and daughter “arguing” on Facebook!!  Haha!

Seriously, but the icing on the cake was Kevin, who was mentioned in the last post anonymously as one of Dw’s BFFs who tried to get Dw to cough it up…so after yesterday’s post he started a group text with Dw, his wife Michelle and I…and the last text he sent was:

“We are about to get slammed with a hurricane. We probably won’t have access to phone/internet/electricity or clean drinking water fountain coke or Haagen Dazs after tonight. But that’s okay. Keep your little secret.”  Proofing this post and I’m still laughing.  *head shaking side-to-side* –  Kevin, Kevin, Kevin.

Thanks for all the joy guys.   I enjoyed every one and still am giggling.   I needed them!!

Really.

Cause yesterday didn’t turn out like I’d planned, hoped for or thought it would.  

And so as I sat at the kitchen table last night dripping tears in front of the kids while they stared at me, not sure what to do….I seriously thought, “I was laughing a few hours ago at all the fun comments.  Now I’m crying from deep disappointment…I have two choices….I can either suck it up and trust the Lord or ruin a perfectly good night with my treasures.”

See, Dw and Liberty had gone to the Cardinals vs. Broncos game compliments of Hope Kids.  The kids and I were home and I was finishing up the details of the history-making-monumental change…when suddenly, the whole thing stinkin’ fell apart.  And I sat, tears streaming, choking back sobs, as the kids just stared at me.  They could feel the disappointment too!

Life is so weird, isn’t it??  We can be soaring on giggles and fun and suddenly it all comes crashing down.

I guess that’s where the rubber hits the road with our hearts and trusting our faithful God, doesn’t it??

And right then and there I decided that I would seize the night back…and I sat and prayed with the kids, giving the entire would-be-monumental situation to the Lord…knowing His timing is perfect.

And since I couldn’t think straight, after praying, I turned to the best thing I could think of – “Let’s make banana splits with homemade hot fudge and pull out every topping we have to load them up!”  That changed the kids-deer-in-the-headlights-expressions (they knew the deep disappointment)…but it turned out great, in spite of the delay cause God is faithful and kids and ice cream is a great combo!!

Since I promised the post…here it is…even though it’s not exactly happened yet…we are prayerful it will actually happen in the next few days!

Now before you all cheat and skim to the bottom, please just read and hear my heart…and you will understand the why of this history-making monumental change in our family!

It has been almost 5 years ago today that Emma and I left for Uganda to complete the process to bring home a very broken-bodied little treasure that only God had kept alive, by His great grace and then clearly orchestrated for our arms.  We could not wait to get there!

In the five years since our sweet Ruby came home, we could not have even begun to imagine all that God has done in and through her life.

She’s our family hero!! Our mascot, if you will!  She’s the bravest treasure we’ve ever had and boy-oh-boy is she ever determined! This girl is a spunky, smart-as-a-whip, tender-hearted, sassy, prankster, gentle, over-the-top, musically talented blast!

Yet one of the side effects of significant brain trauma usually is difficulty sleeping.  I’ve mentioned in the past, Ruby sleeps little. Today for instance, she woke up for the day at 3:30am.  Two nights ago she was up from 12:15am until 5:30am.

Now, most know that Ruby has epilepsy also.  She has had many grand mal seizures (although we praise the name of the Lord she has not had any seizures at all in over 18 months!!)  Thank you Lord for creating Essential Oils!!  

When we brought Ruby home we knew she needed to feel safe, as most know, she had suffered horrific abuse.  (If you missed her story, it was published and is available on Amazon here!)

Anyway, then Ruby started having seizures and we have kept her with us.  Because, as her neurologist puts it, “I do seizures all day long, but hers freak me out.”   Yes, they are life-threatening.  And she is medically fragile on top of it!

So we have a bedrail with her on the outside, me in the middle and Dw on the other side. And yes, she has woke me in the night having a seizure against me.  I have a heavy duty drug that I need to administer should she have one.

So for basically 5 years she has been beside me and together we’ve not been sleeping much.  And I have loved every second of having her against me.  But more recently, I’ve noticed that the lack-of-sleep is having a profound affect on me.  For the past 5 years, when she wakes, Dw moves to the couch and I doze, if I can, beside her.  

And a few months ago our precious Graham sat us down and said, “We have to come up with a plan.  This is not good for you guys. You’ve got to be in it for the long haul.”   Graham talked to Emma and she teamed up with him.

And after they both talked to us, I had to admit, it was taking its toll on me.  I am weary to the core.  This smarty-pants has learned to move her quadriplegic little body around in seconds – she then takes her left foot (the one she has most control over) and rubs my cheeks.  I raise up, move her back in position and by the time I’ve laid back down, she has her foot up on my cheek, my eyes, my hair…stroking me, clearly telling me she wants me awake and, no doubt, just how much she loves me.

Mind you, I’m not complaining.  Not at all.  I’m just weary. Graham confronting us made me admit it.  

We began to pray about possible options.

We had heard about seizure dogs…which I wrote to a woman who raises them.  They are approximately $17,000. with an annual fee of nearly $2,000 to keep them “certified”.  Well that option was out of the question!

We pressed on.

And then we heard about a device that Ruby could wear on her arm and it would alert me via phone and/or text that she was having a seizure.

I couldn’t even begin to grasp the freedom that this would allow me.  Because for 5 years, I have had to be aware of every second of Ruby’s life.  Even if I go to put a load of clothes in, I have to know what Ruby is doing at all times!

One of the things I missed, but had never admitted, was just the ability for Dw and I to talk aloud in our room.  We walk lightly, since she is the lightest sleeper ever! We whisper or mouth things to each other.

The other thing I’ve missed is being able to get up, after a relatively restful night and go out on our veranda and spend time with the Lord, because if I move, Ruby awakens!  So I lay perfectly still as much of the night as possible.   I spend my time under the covers, reading my Bible online while she talks, parties, shrieks, squeals and hums beside me.

We knew it was time.

We have prayed long and hard about the best option, at this moment, for our family. The seizure watch was it!!

And in our 4 bedroom home, we are changing things around.  Ruby and Birdie will now share a room!!  And Ruby is sooooo excited.  Seriously, she grins as I talk about it.  If that doesn’t work, we will have to figure something else out, but for now, this is it!  So that means, Ruby will be wearing the seizure watch and we will come if the monitor goes off!

SOOOO yesterday the seizure watch arrived.  I was almost giddy!!

And would you not believe it, as much as I tried to get it to work, the stupid thing was broken!?!?!!!  And she had never even had it on her pretty little wrist.   Hence, the big, ugly tears.  

I love my precious Ruby, but I am also so ready for some sleep!! Truthfully, I can almost taste it!

The kids have been praying with us. They know this is monumental.  They are excited for Ruby and they are excited for Mommy and Daddy.

And late last night, after Graham’s worship practice he talked to me for awhile.  He’s a Senior Developer and he definitely knows his stuff!  He works for a large corporation downtown and so last night he helped me figure out the ins and outs of this seizure watch.  And just like that, he ordered one for me from a different company and while writing this post he phoned to say it was already at his house and he has it programmed himself (Go handsome buddy!!) and ready to go!  He wanted to know if I could come downtown to their home and he’ll pair it with our phones?

So I’m heading there now.

And as I said in the last post, maybe this means nothing to you.  But 5 years is a really long time for this gal.  Not once have I complained.  I just finally admit it was taking it’s toll. I’m ready.  Really ready. But I’m also nervous.  And a little scared.  It’s been 5 years!!

Would you join us in praying that tonight will be a night of peace and rest?  That Ruby will adjust to being in her own bed…that she and Birdie will truly love being little sisters sharing a room?  And that this weary Mommy will have the best night sleep I’ve had in 5 years? 

Off to Graham and Savannah’s home! xoxoxo