It’s me friends.
First let me say that I have been completely overwhelmed by the faithfulness of God through this very real, very personal struggle. I completely testify that His lavish love has been present each step of the way.
While laying in the hospital bed, uncertain of what the future held, I was worshipping Him with music I had downloaded onto my phone ages ago and suddenly this adverb came to mind along with the word “faithful” in describing my Jesus:
Yes, anyone up close will hear me use it now, as it describes how God met me in a powerful way. He is, indeed, astoundingly faithful.
Some of you know that I am in the midst of writing a second book. Probably not surprisingly, it is all about the faithfulness of God. I had wondered what the last chapter would be. And then this trial began.
Things were very touch-n-go for awhile there and I actually said to Dw, “What if I don’t get to finish the book?” Yes, it was serious. Very unexpected and truly very scary.
But friends, for months the Lord had been whispering to me about something. As this trial unfolded, I was immediately reminded of His whispers. This was the very situation He had been whispering about and preparing me for!!
He began preparing me through a song by Lauren Daigle. It is entitled, “Trust in You”….and one of the lines in that song is:
“There’s not a place where I’ll go
You’ve not already stood”
What the Lord had been reminding me day after day for months was that there was not one place, not one season, not one situation that I would face that He has not already stood!
Practically speaking, over the months of meditating on that biblical principle from her song, I really could picture that there would be not one place I could go that He had not already stood. Because of His astoundingly faithful nature, He would have stood steadfast, looking about to see what each of us need when faced with any trial, struggle or trauma. He would look from every single vantage point!!
It hit a very personal place in the depths of my soul as I arrived at the ER that night and realized that He had already stood at the entrance of the hospital and He had prepared every step that I was about to face. He had the ER doctor that needed to be there. He had the staff, the tests, everything already prepared. There would be nothing that would have escaped His loving, all-knowing, all-powerful, ever preparing eye because He had looked from every possible vantage point and provided every single possible thing I would need.
This very real truth was so powerful to me and I clung to the fact that He had gone before me. The situation, however it turned out, He had already lovingly paved the way and He would be working through me, in me and around me with each and every minute detail.
I really am going to write the entire story out for the book, because He was so astoundingly faithful, but suffice it to say, His tender arms were around me every second.
And friends, the reality is that my numbers had plateaued at a dangerously high point and there was grave concern that I would need a liver transplant. It was so desperately serious!!
About that time, Dw asked you guys to pray and clearly, you all sprung into action!! Our astoundingly faithful God moved as thousands of earnest prayers were rising to His great throne of grace.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Our kids were amazing. Every one of them wanted to help and I felt so cherished by them. Our families ministered to us so beautifully and our friends loved on us with such tenderness and our church has been amazing.
Before I even went to the hospital that night, our close friends, Missy and Doug came over and anointed me with oil. I knew something was desperately wrong, I just couldn’t hardly wake up but I had zero clue how serious any of it was.
The first night in the hospital Graham and Savannah’s pastor came up to pray with us. Tender touches of God’s amazing grace displayed throughout it all.
I didn’t know at the time, but when the news was not looking good my strong, handsome husband of almost 39 years had to leave the room to cry. He could hardly bear what the doctors told him while I was sleeping. He just didn’t know what the future held and either did the Liver Specialists and he didn’t want me to see how worried he was.
It was such a holy time to me personally as the Lord ministered to us from through so many avenues. We are overwhelmed and grateful for every card, meal, visit, flowers, love gift, message, text and thoughtful action toward our family. You guys love so well!!
As it is right now, my numbers are “slowly trickling down”. They will watch my liver closely for a long while yet. I am far from “well”. I want to sleep all day still. Which is so not in my DNA!!
But really, walking to the family room (which backs up to our master bedroom) is exhausting and I curl up in the chair and doze. Then I wake and talk for a bit to the kids and fall back asleep. They said it will likely take months for me to return to normal as my liver took a very serious hit. They told me to listen closely to my body, if it wants to sleep, it’s because it needs it.
Kinda’ crazy, since I have always thought that sleeping too long was silly as there was so much I needed to accomplish…and here I am in a place where all I want to do is sleep. Very weird paradigm shift for this mama of many.
So in closing, thank you all for loving me and my beautiful family. Please, please, please do not stop the prayers!! And while praying, please offer your praises to our astoundingly faithful God. He alone is worthy of all the honor for His miraculous healing in my liver.
All pictures are from last summer at our precious friend’s home in Indiana. They make me smile.