Friends, thank you so very much for your outpouring of prayers, love and kindness – I couldn’t imagine doing life without you guys. I truly love you all and am so thankful for the love your pour out toward us. I haven’t responded to many of you – please forgive.
Ruby is home and once home, this mama “hit the wall”.
The reality of just over four years of being seizure-free interrupted by three life-threatening grand mals that were horrible to watch left me traumatized. Facing the truth that during any one of those three seizures we could have lost her and now the reality of the ‘carefree’ season we had once enjoyed being over…left behind in it’s wake a very real trauma to my soul. I mean, life didn’t go like I thought it would…I thought Ruby was healed and quite honestly, I was undone.
I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed off and on all day yesterday as very real emotions had to be dealt with. Yes, the Lord whispered throughout the day (He is so very good), I had worship music on continually (the same song actually playing over and over) and my precious friend Monica’s words brought incredible comfort. She and her husband Dan are some of our very closest friends and they walk a very similar road with their beloved medically fragile son and, no doubt, each day we have with our medically fragile kids is an incredible gift – an immeasurable reward.
I often wonder how many people fly through life with little thought of: What if today was the last day with one of my kids? Would I rather be on FB or looking into their beautiful face? What do I have to busy myself with that’s more important than talking to them and hearing their thoughts? What would I want our last day to be like? Certainly I would want us laughing together heartily enjoying their sparkling eyes that twinkle with delight and making memories that capture who they are.
So today is a new day….the Lord whispered some sweet words and I will share those in the days ahead. As we await the meeting with Ruby’s neurosurgeon we are treasuring every moment and seizing the time together.
And on that note, it’s actually spring break in the city of Phoenix, where we live, and although we do not usually take days like spring break off, I decided to declare it an official “Snow Day”….the truth is that it is dreary and cold (54 degrees out) and looks and feels so much like Buffalo snow days..so yes, it’s an official Snow Day here!
The kids are thrilled and we are going to snuggle by the fire, worship, talk, make some out-of-the-ordinary yummy food and savor the moments because our family has been reminded that life is really very, very, very short.
This song was on repeat in Ruby’s hospital room, as we walked to tests, all day long in our home….because God is so very, very good….and perhaps you also need to be reminded in spite of the heartache life brings – God is so good!
PS. Precious picture of Ruby posted above taken on her 8th birthday.