I’ll be honest I hesitated to write this post. I’ve actually vacillated back and forth all day long. Why? Because I think with loss many probably think, “Oh just get over it. It was a long time ago, no one died and you should be all done with grief.”
But honestly friends grief sneaks up on you. And loss is real. I’ve heard people who lost children or spouses or parents comment that friends around them didn’t understand that the heartache will always be there. Sure, they will learn to live with it but it never goes away and they’ve found that talking about their grief often makes others uncomfortable.
For several days I’ve been dripping tears at the most random things…even over a hardened old orange. Dw was like, “Babe, you aren’t really starting to cry over the old, hardened orange are you?” Yes actually I was. It made zero sense. But grief was present as the days were approaching today and remembering the season is just below the surface and presents itself in the most random of ways and the most inopportune times.
And although losing everything in our fire did not result in the loss of life, it was one of the most difficult seasons of my life. There were many reasons it was so difficult but probably the most important part to my soul was because I knew there was more to it. There as a missing puzzle piece. I just couldn’t quite figure it out. I know it sounds cryptic and it is hard to elude to but there was a missing piece and that is what now weighs heavy on my heart. Two years ago the missing piece was revealed and someday I will write about it in my book and then anyone who is reading this and reads that will understand. But that missing piece, although it connected the dots, it only compounded exponentially the deep heartache.
Yesterday Dw and I were praying together and he reminded me of this powerful verse in Romans 8:28:
And we know that [God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God,
to those who are called according to His purpose.
There is no doubt, that God used our painful loss to bring about so very many beautiful things we couldn’t have ever dreamed into being – like for one: actually “meeting” thousands of you. Believe it or not there have been over 5 million hits here at our Place Called Simplicity since the fire – who would have ever guessed? Definitely NOT me – not even in a billion years. What an incredible blessing the friendship from so many of you around the world has been to my once-lonely soul. You guys have ministered to me in ways you couldn’t even begin to grasp – trust me in this. And yes, the deep heartfelt reasons will be shared in my life story some day.
Then there is also the fact that many of you who now stop by watched The Gem come into being and many of you have actually gone with Dw or I and visited and some have supported it – how incredible is that? I am in awe of the goodness of God!
I’ve also heard from many of you that your heart turned toward adoption because of reading about our treasures and that is maybe the most incredibly humbling thing of all – many orphans now have found their forever-families!
Let me be perfectly clear: God did not cause our fire (or your loss). We live in a broken world and very bad things happen. He was faithful though through it and continues to be faithful to us.
So yes, bountiful, beautiful things have come out of the fire and because God is good and faithful to His promises, I will choose, by an act of my will, to cry when I need to cry (even over hardened oranges) and rejoice throughout the tears, that God was faithful to His promises and so many good things have come out of the heartache, the loss, and the trauma. I will also choose to believe that now that the missing puzzle piece has been revealed, He will continue to work on our behalf.
And precious friends, so many of you have had tremendous loss over the last years since I “met” you. I’ve heard from many of you of your trauma and loss and I’m so very sorry. I pray that you will know in the deep recesses of your soul that God is for you, He is not against you, He is working on your behalf and He love, love, loves you immeasurably!
Lastly, have you changed the batteries in your smoke alarm recently? Like in the last year? If not, please do it now. Do you have a variety of smoke alarms? If you have a home wired-in system for your smoke alarms, please add some independent ones tonight. Yes, tonight. Your life matters to those who know you up close and your life matters to me, your far away friend. xo