Many of you, my sweet bloggy friends, have asked for an update on Autumn. This week something happened…..and we have been left reeling from it all and feeling very frustrated, to say the least.
About 3 weeks ago Autumn had to go to Albuquerque for a second MRI. The doc wanted to see if the tumor had had any change. Fair enough.
On Emma’s birthday Autumn and daddy were supposed to have a phone conference with the doctor to find out the results. Only the doc didn’t call. After 2 more days of waiting his partner called and talked to Autumn. The partner said, “The MRI shows no tumor.” Really? That would be miraculous! But since it was his partner we decided to wait till we could talk to her actual doctor to see if he had found the same thing.
We waited 4 more days. Finally her doctor called and said that the report said that there is no tumor. Are you sure? Somehow that just didn’t sit well with me. In my spirit I had alot of questions. Since the doctor had said that report said there was no tumor, had he actually looked at the MRI films?
Also, in that first MRI something had been found that in this 2nd MRI report along with the absence of the tumor, was also not mentioned. (I’m sorry, due to Autumn’s privacy, I will keep the other part private.) Infact when talking to the doctor, Autumn had said, “What about such-n-such?” He had said there was no mention of it either. Hmmmm.
After Autumn talked to the doctor she phoned me. She said, “Mom he said that the report says there is no tumor.” I said, “Did he say that he actually looked at the MRI or is he only gathering his information from the report?”
In the meantime Autumn texted dozens and dozens of friends and family with the good news. We went to Serious Texas to celebrate. But in my heart I had this nagging feeling….”You must confirm that the doctor is relaying information from her actual MRI films that HE has looked at!”
Celebrating at Serious Texas
See friends, Autumn’s symptoms are still here. It is not a matter of faith or lack thereof to say, “You really looked at the MRI films??” God’s miraculous complete healing means that the symptoms are gone too!
I talked to Dw. We talked to Autumn. Daddy called the doctor yet another time. Dw left a message with his assistant asking if the doctor had read the report or had he actually looked at her MRI films?? Two days again passed and he finally called back.
The truth? The doctor had not looked at the MRI, but had only relied on the report. And somewhere between Autumn’s real MRI films and the actual report someone (maybe the radiologist or secretary or someone) had gotten Autumn’s MRI films mixed up with someone elses.
After looking at her actual MRI films the truth is that her tumor is still there and so is the other concern. He said that he wants her to now go to Mayo Clinic.
And our 19 year old blue-eyed baby girl got to text her friends and family and tell them that the doctor had relied on a report, instead of ctually looking at the MRI films and the tumor is still there and she is now being sent to Mayo Clinic.
I’ll be real authentic. We are frustrated, disappointed, and reeling. My emotions have been toyed with a few two many times this year. Maybe it’s common practice to solely rely on a report, but since my untrained naked eye can see the problem in her brain without any difficulty….why wouldn’t he have double checked when they are about to report such opposite from the diagnosis – and completely extraordinary news??
Put yourself in our moccasins. You’d be exhausted too!! We are asking the Lord to fill us with grace cause really, it feels like my ‘grace tank’ is running on empty. As always your continued prayers for Autumn would be appreciated.
I'm so sorry your dear daughter was misled, how heartbreaking for her and you. I will pray for her healing and for peace for all of you.
By the way, I am Cindy's sister. Thank you so much for what you organized last Monday. I know she was so appreciative that so many cared.
Julie L.
I am so so sorry. Wish I could be there to ease your pain… to take part of it away from you!! Oh oh my…
You ALL are, especially beautiful Autumn being brought before the Father in prayers. May you feel His guiding and comforting Arm, may He give you discernment, and most of all rest and peace.
God Loves You!
Barbara Lyman 🙂
Marysville, WA
I am so sorry…I can't imagine the frustration you are feeling. The doctor's lack of timely communication and unpreparedness is no small thing. That is just unacceptable and I feel so badly that it sent your family on a roller coaster ride that could have been prevented. Praise God for a Momma's intuition!
I will continue to pray for healing for Autumn…praying that her doctors at the Mayo clinic – that they will be good listeners and have a spirit of discernment in determining the best action plan for Autumn!
I am so so sorry for the pain that you and your precious daughter are experiencing.
Praying for your whole family,
Sarah
Definitely praying for you and your sweet family. Doctors can be so frustrating sometimes, I know firsthand, despite how you want to believe that they're working for you. Praying for Autumn's health, and peace for all of you.
Linny,
I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this, you've certainly had enough to deal with this year.How irresponsible of the doctors.I will keep you and your lovely family in my prayers,and I will pray for physical healing for your beautiful Autum and renewed strength for you and DW.You are such an inspiration.God bless you
Sincerely,
Sophie Neri
Our prayers are with Autumn and your whole family. One can only imagine what you are all going through. I will never understand how some things in the medical profession can be so miscued.
I pray that Autumn will be placed with a Dr.(s) that are guided by the Lord and Lords hands. Praying also that the tumor will be miraculously removed.
I have a sister and a sister-in-law who both have been dealt some pretty rough hands lately as well and asked me if I believe that God won't hand us more than we can handle. It's only natural to feel this way, as troubles seem to build and pile up. I don't have the answers, and no one really does, but do believe that He is a loving God and He will hold you all up. Don't lose the fait and hope. Will pray that you are all filled with renewed strength. May God's Blessings be abundantly poured out upon you all!
Wow. That is really weird. At least you knew in your spirit that something wasn't right so that you didn't get your hopes up too awfully high. I will continue to pray for you guys and Autumn.
ohhhh can you say malpractice? that is so not ok.
praying for her and feeling so heartsick for you. praying for her complete healing.
Oh so sorry Linn! Get to Mayo QUICK before BO "Rhams" the government health care through and you may not have the option!! Prayers for Autumn!!
I'm continuing to pray for your whole precious family.
Love you guys!
i join you in your frustration, but know that God will be filling up your grace tank. because that is just what He does. your tanks have been assaulted repeatedly this past year. the enemy may attack, but he does not, will not and shall not will. do not give the enemy a foothold, my dear linny.
stand firm and stand tall, that our God is good. even when news is not what we desire, God is good. and i know i don't even have to tell you this. you are not doubting God. not for a second. i say this only to encourage you to not give an inch in this fight for autumn. we shall pray ever harder.
give her my love, and i send you the biggest e-hug i can muster across the miles. i wish i could make this journey better. you've been through entirely too much (in my humble opinion) and you shall (and are) ultimately shine in this refiner's fire.
forgive me for saying anything that may be offensive to you. my fumbling words mean only the best. i offer encouragement in clumsy english.
i offer love, in the weakest of gestures.
press on, sweet linny. you are being lifted up.
Linny,
Praying for Autumn and your whole family.
Oh Linny,
I am so sorry to hear this latest news! How truly frustrating!
Still praying for Autumn and ALL of you!
Lisa, Whidbey Island, WA
Autumn has continued to be on my heart, and I will continue to pray for her COMPLETE healing. Oh how my heart breaks for you all!
I will do my best to say this in a way that does not offend or scare you. But please PLEASE PLEASE have Autumn's reports- every ounce of every bit of everything- sent to you. So that they are physically in your hot little hands. Then find a Dr close to ypu or a specialist or someone else to evaluate and give a second opinion. If you don't get the vibe you like from that person, find someone else. Without going into detail, something similar happened to a close family friend. She is now in a terminal situation. But even so, her status GREATLY changed when she got shall we say *bossy* with her own treatment. Drs were not talking to each other and treating her so poorly. Other Drs didn't want to deal with her because the deemed her too terminal and not worth their time. But she took charge and keeps copious notes and even checks med dosage (bc as shocking as it sounds, there have been several times when they said one thing but gave her another thus making her sicker) and she has been able to really change things. She is still terminal. But taking charge has turned it from a 2 mos situation to an only God knows. So far its been more than 2 years! Gosh this sounds doom and gloom. Please feel free not to post this if it might scare Autumn. But please get those records and find another opinion. One you are able to get face to face. My prayers are with y'all!!
Oh my goodness! When my husband was alive and battling cancer we had something simular happen..it takes the wind right out of your sails.
I will continue to pray for Autumn and the rest of your beautiful family. God Bless.
The Chrisman's
Oh Linn…my heart is hurting so badly for you right now. I'm at a loss for words.
I'm praying.
That's so unfair! I can't believe he didn't actually look at the MRI himself. How can he mess up like that!! I am so sorry, it must be like a terrible rollarcoaster ride. Autumn is in our prayers.Right away!!
My son went through a similar situation..in November a Dr. stated that he most likely had a brain tumor or aneurysm …MRI was taken in February,,,the results showed nothing there…..They stated that he may lose his hearing, they don't know why…I keep saying,,God is our Great Physician…praise praise praise for His hand upon our lives…
((hugs))
I can't imagine how you guys are feeling right now! Wow. I will definitely keep both Autumn and you guys in my prayers!
Dear Linn,
There are no words to say that will comfort you, at least none that I can think of at this time. I will continue to pray for your family, and specifically for Autumn. There is no doubt that our "grace tank" would be on empty with no fill up station in site after all you have been through this year. Sending you a hug.
Love,
Sherrie
Awww, I'm so sorry for you having to be toyed with in that way. I agree with you, if you are going to tell someone that they have been miraculously healed seeing the proof with one's own eyes would probably be a good idea. Autumn has been in my prayers, and will continue to be (as well as your entire family).
~Amy
I am so sorry and will be praying for ya'll. How frustrating!
Our daughter was diagnosed with a rare brain disease that required half her brain to be disconnected. Any health issue with your child (even if they are practically an adult) is terrifying. I will be praying for your family, for you and your husband and daughter to have the strength to face this illness and still keep the rest of the family moving. I've sort of been there (except I only have 4 kids) and it is a very stressful road. Please know that I am putting your name in our prayer chain and keeping you in our family's prayers. Kelly in SC
…"Dear precious Father in heaven, this seems really unfair…but I know that you never allow things that are not for your good…even mistakes from doctors. We ask however that you would give strength and grace to this family who in my opinion Lord are walking a little in Job's mocassins. We know that all things work together for good to those who love you, and this family surely loves you. So we come humbly before your throne and ask for miracles in Autumn's life. We pray for every situation that YOUR hand would be upon the doctors at the Mayo clinic…that Your will would be done and that this family would be carried in your arms through yet another journey of stress. Father we are only human and therefore we feel like sometimes You have given this family more then they can bare… and so please Father we ask that your spirit fill this family with the most amazing peace, grace mercy and strength that only You can give…we love you and cry out before you…please work a miracle…we pray these things in your name Amen!"
Continued prayers for Autumn and special grace for you. I know I'd be reeling too. Hugs and love
Linny, So very sorry for this news about Autumn. You all really have been through so much. I saw this quote the other day and thought immediately of you and your family. "Without the burden of afflictions it is impossible to reach the height of grace. The gifts of grace increase as the struggles increase." – St. Rose of Lima
Of course, Autumn and all of you are in my prayers.
Charissa
Linny:
I'm really sorry to hear that, but will be praying for Autumn. We had such a similar experience with Emsley (our littlest). After, we got her home from China, the person who read the blood test reports got them totally wrong. He stated that she had Alpha Thal minor or trait which meant there was not medical intervention needed. After 2 months of no treatment, our baby girl almost died. I was feeling really sad for her and discouraged that I had trusted the doctors and we were singing praises that she was going to be much healthier than we had originally thought.
When we finally got the right diagnosis, it was exactly as the docs in China had predicted.
So, in the end of course God worked His magic and turned a bad scenerio into good for His purpose.
He taught me instantly that I had to be more proactive and educate myself and advocate for our daughter. In short, I have taught her doctors about her condition and spurred them to research more too. The best thing that happened as a result was that the whole time we were learning how to care for a child with Beta Thal major, our daughter Elina's file sat untouched due to her severe condition. The situation gave us the courage to adopt another child who needed a home and now these two beautiful girls will have each other to grow up with and a family who loves them to pieces.
Thanks for sharing! Your blog always has a special message and I'm certain you touch others more than you will ever know in this lifetime!
~Rebecca
Linny,
May you and your family be filled with God's amazing grace. Thank you God for Linny's nagging feeling about that report and that the doctor actually looked at the MRI this time. Thank you for blessing this family so richly in the past and thank you for all the blessings you have yet in store for them. I place Autum's medical condition on your throne.
Love you guys,
Donna
Praying for Autumn and your family. I wish safe travels for you.
So sorry to hear of this. I would like to say, "I'm surprised." Yet, sadly, it doesn't really surprise me.
Praying for Autumn and the family.
Laurel
Father,
Your word says that we are hard pressed on every side but not crushed, persecuted but not abandoned, struck down, but not destroyed.
Sometimes Lord we feel crushed, abandoned, struck down and destroyed.
This has been a season of testing and trials like no other in the lives of these precious children of yours. I come to You asking for You to strengthen them Lord. Bring encouragement to their souls in ways that will be meaningful to each of them. As they stand on Your promises, they are weary, but not giving up. I pray for winds of refreshment to blow through their lives. Would you give them a glimpse of what You are doing…and what You have for them?
Father You are MORE than able to heal Autumn. We continue to ask for that. While we wait on Your timing, would you be glorified in her life? Let others see Your hand of favor and blessing in her life and turn their hearts to You.
I pray for continued provision for this family in Jesus' mighty name.
I am so sorry to hear this! You will all continue to be in prayers. Autumn, hang in there!
I am so sorry. and I understand from first hand – had C's doctor read the measurements on his ultrasound, not the report, he would have seen how swollen his owwie was and would have operated.
Fallable people in a fallable world make horrible mistakes.
We still look to God alone – maybe their mistakes remind us to look only to Him.
I am sorry that your doctor didnt recognize the opposite of what was being shown through the symptoms Autumn is having. I am. I am a nurse and can see where the doctor would have just read the report without questioning, not making it right or wrong, but I am sorry that you feel your emotions are being toyed with, thats just too bad. Good for you though to keep at it, to keep asking your question of did he look at the actual MRI film! There is so much room for error from the reading to the writing of the report to the posting it in the computer system. We as health care professionals, or I do, absolutely love it when I have a parent keep asking, are you sure, can you please check such and such–it is their child afterall! Not mine, and I would do the same thing! I hope things go well in Mayo clinic for Autumn!
Lisa
I'm glad you heeded that prompting of "ask to see if the doc read the MRI itself or just the report".
we'll continue to lift your family up in prayer.
I also just emailed you -we live near one of the Mayo Clinics-so if you need anything at all, let us know.
Linny,
My daughter is still praying for your dear sweet Autumn every night. She never forgets. We will pray for peace and grace for you. God knows your heart and is holding you in His arms. I know how hard it is in the valley, but I always remember these afflictions are not who we really are…We are an apple of His eye and have FREEDOM! Nightly, bedside prayers from a Mommy and her 8 year old every night for Autumn….
Goodness, it is time you start getting showered with blessing not stress.
I'm glad though that they are sending her to the Mayo because they are the best of the best. My mom and I took a lady there several years ago.
Praying for all of you!
Hey, we went away this weekend and just happend to see a famous singer as we were walking by a hotel. There were tons of people who had been out there for hours waiting and we just happened to walk by. I looked at Chris and told him the only person I would be crazy enough to wait that long for is God and Linny.
I keep asking him when we can go meet all the great people in Colorado.
Oh, honey. Autumn has been on my heart a lot lately, but I hesitated to ask, in light of all the craziness going on with you guys!!!! I will continue to pray on for your precious blue-eyed baby girl…and I have to say, I am struggling to not be angry that they would be so cavalier, and cause Autumn (not to mention all of you!) this pain and uncertainty. *sigh* Makes it hard to trust, huh?
And I guess that Dw must be doing better, bit by bit, since no news is good news, and we've had none about him lately! 🙂
Love you MUCHLY!!!!!
Nancy in CT
Linny –
You said "In your spirit that didn't sit well with me." What a gift from God that unsettled spirit was. He didn't make you doubt because of unfounded fear. There was a great reason you were uncomfortable. While I'm sure your frustration and worry is large, please know that I see a HUGE blessing in your persistance to find the right answers. What if you didn't feel uncomfortable with the information and Autumn sought no more treatments? Your unsettled spirit might be worthy of a Memorial Box moment. I pray that a course of action for Autumn's treatment is found easily and that she is restored to great health. You and your family are blessings to many by the things you share and the way you praise Jesus throughout!
I'm sorry your family has gone through so many difficult trials this year. May the God of peace give you joy unspeakable and supernatural healing! Hang in there Autumn and we are praying for you.
libby in Texas
Praying….oh wow…..hard to take, and yet somehow the truth needs to be dealt with. Scary, and yet- knowing the Lord is in control!
What a huge let-down! I'm so sorry for all of your trials and pain lately. It seems like it's too much for one family to have to endure. However, you and I both know that we serve a MIGHTY God who knew all of this before time began. He will use it all for His glorious Kingdom. Nonetheless… I'm so sorry.
Today at church our pastor preached on Philippians 1:12-26. What a great message for your trials of late. I think you can find it at http://www.apostles.org. Our pastor is Michael Youssef of Leading the Way international ministry. He's Egyptian and has many friends in the "unfriendly" parts of the world. Today he told us about one of his friends who overflows with joy. The man lives in a country where it is illegal to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The police brought him in for questioning. They told him, "We can kick you out of this country for what you are doing!" He said, "Oh, great… my grandchildren live in another country and I'd love to spend my sunset years with them." They said, "Well, we can throw you in jail for this." He said, "Great! I need to write many evangelism books so that would give me much time needed to write my books." They said, "We can kill you for what you are doing!" He said, "Oh, fantastic! I would be able to serve my King Jesus in person!"
Oh, how I long for such joy in my life. I pray that you will be able to find the joy too. I'm sure you know why you experience so many attacks, right?…. Because you shout from the mountain tops, "Jesus is my Savior! He is so Great!" Satan doesn't like that. He doesn't waste time attacking those who hide their faith inside and don't share the love of Christ with anyone. He attacks those who are so in love with Jesus that they are willing to yell "Yippee Jesus" at any moment. That's you. We love you for it.
Please keep your head up and know that the saints are praying for you. When you can't lift your arms, there will be those in the body of Christ there to help lift your arms. When you can't walk one more step, there will be someone to help. God will never leave us, nor forsake us because He promised! And He's a promise-maker and a promise-keeper!
I just can't imagine your frustration level at this point. I don't know that I would have lasted through all the things you have been through this year. But I do know that our God is sovereign, unshakable, unmovable, unchanging, and He's not surprised, anxious or worried. He will be victorious!
Please tell Autumn that we're praying for her and to keep her chin up. My sweet elderly friend at church always tells me, "The longest distance between your problems and the solution, is the distance between your knees and the floor."
Please thank Tyler for protecting us. We appreciate his service very much.
Please keep writing. Please keep "yippee-ing." Please remember that there is a giant mansion and party waiting for you that will last for eternity!
Love in Jesus,
Amy in Atlanta
Oh Linny, my sweet friend…I can't even imagine how your grace tank could have anything left in it all (and yet He says His grace is always sufficient). I am asking Him to pour His strength and comfort into you in His miraculous, unexplainable way…that your joy would make no sense in the middle of your circumstances. Hugs!
WOW. I'm not sure what else to say. I'm glad you trusted your "Mama's intuition". We'll continue to storm Heaven's gates for sweet Autumn.
Trusting Him to refuel you all…
Oh Linny what a horrible experience!! I can not believe that a doctor relied on the report and did not look at the MRI!! This is not OK!!!!!!! My prayers to you and your entire family. You have endured so much……
Much love coming your way,
Kathie in NY
Linny,
Praying for Autumn and your family. So sorry for the roller coaster.
Love,
-Nicole
http://www.bakerssweets.blogspot.com
Hi there, I just found your blog. I just want you to know that I am going to remember your daughter in my prayers. And that God would continue to fill you with His grace – unceasing and everlasting. God be with you. ~Jessica Owens
I'm so sorry for what Autumn and all of you have gone through. That kind of mistake is unbelievably careless. I'll be praying for your hurting hearts and for Autumn's healing.
There is a great study our church has been going through that I wonder if you've heard of. It's called Quieting a Noisy Soul, by Dr. Jim Berg and it's about finding God's help with emotional matters of all kinds; fear, anger, disappointment, despair, etc. The study has been such a help to me and I just want to let you know about it. The website is QuietingANoisySoul.com.
You guys have been through some severe trials and I thank the Lord for how you are praising Him and holding on to Him (and He to you) in the middle of it.
Love,
Laura
Praying for Sweet Autumn!
I want to read all the responses but I need to be genuine- CRAP- I can't believe they did that to you. What are they thinking- you do not toy with people in this situation.
I am glad you are going to Mayo- I have heard only good things about it.
GOD BLESS YOU and your dear family- especially Autumn.
I have actually thought (pre adoption- not in the cards now) about starting a business where a nurse advocates for families in serious situations- helps them with the questions to ask and how to clarify and figure out what the DR is actually saying. If anyone reads this and wants to do it please do- families need an advocate!! The Drs are too hard to get a hold of and can be unapproachable!
I am so sorry that your family has had to go through this- it is not okay.
Our prayers are with you darling daughter- Autumn.
Oh my dear friend, I absolutely cannot imagine. My heart aches for you. I think my grace tank would have run out a very long time ago. You are absolutely amazing the way you have handled all that has been thrown at you this year. Be kind to yourself–it has been one heck of a year.
Absolutely! You precious Autumn is in my prayers. TRUSTING with you that every part of that tumor will be GONE, in the name of Jesus.
Oh- how terribly frustrating! Emotional roller coasters are never fun! I will definitely be praying!
Hi, I am new to this. What I feel deep in my Spirit is we need to pick a meal, meals, a day, or days you need to pray and fast for the Saunders family. Ask God to show each of you how you are to pray, for what and for who. The enemy has no mercy; but our God has grace and mercy. The Spirit of God can organize us in our Spirits to pray at the same time or or 24hrs a day.
Aww man, We're praying.
Tell Autumn this is only making her story MORE amazing!
How frustrating. You would think the Dr. would actually look at the MRI itself and not rely on the notes. Thankfully, you were persistant and questionable so that the truth was found. Who knows what would have happened. Reading this sure made me be more cautious about what the Dr. says. Will be praying for Autumn and the rest of the family.
God Bless
Elaine from MT
Sweet Linny-
AT first I want to be so angry and the mother bear in me wants to drive out and wring that doctor's neck! I'm just sayin…
But in truth, and on further +prayer – anger rarely fixes anything. It mobilizes us, yes, but it cannot sustain us. As you well know, Christ is the answer – and indeed, he can use this suffering for His glory and your own sanctification.
Here's where I'll get angry:"Get thee behind Linny and her family, satan! Get thee behind me, as well- because wrapping all around us is the love of God, and you will not mess with Him and His children."
St Michael, the archangel, defend us in this spiritual battle.
And St. Anne, and St. Monica: please pray for Linny and her family, and especially her sweet daughter Linny. You moms know what I'm talkin about. Ask Jesus to bring them peace and healing.
God Bless,
Mary Beth
I'm so very sorry to hear this news about Autumn – I was wondering how she was getting on. You must all be so sad and disappointed. To be given bad news once is bad enough, but then to be given it all over again is even harder. I really hope the doctors can come up with a good treatment plan for Autumn soon.
I've been reading your blog regularly since I found a link to you on the day of the fire.
I love reading what you are all up to, and keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
With love from across the pond X
Oh my goodness, i'm so sorry to hear that you're hearts were pulled around like that!
I'm praying for grace for you whole family.
Also i was upset to read about the kidnapping of the boys in your recent post! How horrible! They are on my heart and in my prayers now too!