October 13, 2008 I wrote:
Yesterday I was supposed to give an announcement during both services regarding our upcoming Girlfriend’s Retreat (this coming week-end) and also about October being Breast Cancer Awareness month.
Several people had asked that we mention it being Breast Cancer Awareness month so that we could pray for those affected by it. Being the only female on staff it made sense that I be the one to mention it and pray.
So first service I made my Girlfriend’s announcement and then mentioned Breast Cancer Awareness and then I prayed for healing for those with breast cancer, their families, the survivors and even those who had lost friends and family members.
Second service I went up on stage and mentioned the Girlfriend’s retreat. Some of our staff pastors had been making the other announcements and so when I went up I kind of goofed around with them. I was feeling rather light-hearted and wasn’t paying full attention, after all, this was second service and I had already done it all once before.
So without being fully “engaged” I started to mention Breast Cancer Awareness month. Instead though of saying it was National Breast Cancer Awareness month I actually said, “I wanted to draw attention to the fact that October is National Breast Awareness Month…..” and I instantly heard people start to snicker and giggle….but I couldn’t figure out why, since I hadn’t realized what I had done…..then some started to really laugh and at about that time I heard my sweet, but ever-so-embarassed-senior-pastor-husband whisper rather loudly from the front row…., “It’s Breast CANCER!”
Ooopsie!! At that moment I realized that I had left out ONE VERY important word………..(I am sweating thinking about it as I type it)….
By now, people were really laughing all over the auditorium. I mean, really, really laughing. I couldn’t help but start to laugh myself when I realized that I had said, “October is National Breast Awareness month…” All I could think was, “Oh my gracious – I did not just do that!?!?”
Of course, about this time I also began to feel very self-conscious; wondering given my one word omission what exactly were people “aware of” while laughing ever so heartily.
Feeling very vulnerable and almost unclothed I decided to turn around and try to pull myself together….when I did I found the worship team also doubled over with laughter. Graham, who was on the drums, said he looked over at our lead guitarist, Phil, and saw him bent over due to laughing so hard. They all wear ear mics and Graham then heard Phil say thru the mics to the rest of the worship team, “I think we’re all pretty aware of them already.”
I turned back around to face the audience and found my sweet hubby was also bent over laughing so hard that his eyes were shut and his chair was shaking. You know how it is when you are a kid and you are not supposed to be laughing, because you are at a funeral or something, so you laugh all the more?!?! This whole thing lasted probably almost 2 minutes!
I just stood there laughing and laughing and according to my family I repeated over and over “I did not just do that!” I am very comfortable as a public speaker and have spoken many, many times before hundreds of people, but this one, well, it just threw me off kilter. I just was not sure how to “recover” and continue with some semblance of seriousness. Due to how nervous I instantly became, I silently prayed that the Lord would help me to get it back and started to try to talk over top of the laughing until things had settled down. I was able eventually to get serious and pray for those who have been affected by breast cancer.
After I prayed I went to sit down and my Emma leaned over to me and said, “Mom, I love you! If laughter is good medicine then no one here is going to be sick for a very, very long time.”
I was 100% certain that I will never live it down and yes, we have laughed about it for a whole year. On a sidenote: After sitting down I got this text from my sweet friend Carie: “As I take your advice I am aware that my breasts want to be free from their restraint. I will honor the girls wishes. xx “
Oh my!! That is so funny. I just had to laugh out loud at my computer. I will probably wake myself up in my sleep laughing about that one night. I have a funny one like that but thankfully it was in a phone conversation, not the whole church.
About 20 years ago I was really sick for a long time. The doctor after about 10 months figured out I had a parasite. I was talking to a friend on the phone and telling her. She asked what a parasite was. I said very boldly, "It is a micro-orgasm" instead of micro-organism. She was laughing so hard she could barely breathe. I look at my husband and he is doing the same thing. I finally said outloud, "What?" My friend still laughing managed to tell me what I said.
So glad that happened on the phone and not to the whole church.
Great start to my day. Thanks
That is just one of the funniest posts EVER!!!!!
I love the sweet encouragement from Emma! Tears!
True story Tuesday is a great idea.
Thank you friend!
If it's any consolation, Keith Olberman did the same thing to a national audience on NFL Sunday on NBC this week.
Was this before or after your wardrobe malfunction?? Sorry, but the two seem to go together! LOL!
Horrifying and hysterical all in the same moment!
I'm trying hard not to burst out laughing because I have the students that have to stay inside for recess! However, I'm sitting here with a goofy grin all over my face!
TOO FUNNY!
And, honey, I'm aware of my breasts now, thanks to you!
Linny, this goes into the same book as your Mother's Day True Story Tuesday. 🙂 Hmmm….same location, same body part to be aware of. I see a theme!!!
Giggling with you! 🙂
Cathy in Washington State
That is SO funny! Cracked me up.
Oh my goodness Linny I totally remember this and I am still laughing so hard! 🙂 I love Emma's comment she is so funny! 🙂 Love you!
oh my goodness! I remember when you wrote this last year; I could not stop laughing.
I was just remembering this the other day, in fact, and started laughing right in Wal Mart.
I can't believe that was a year ago!
OMGOsh!!! BAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! That is PRICELESS!! I LOVE it!! But more importantly, I'm so glad that everyone could LAUGH over it! LOL
Reminds me of a certain Sunday School class I was teaching with the Youth girls and we had been discussing Heaven. One of the young ladies had said how she would like it if there were sects in Heaven (meaning musicians over here, artists over there…she is a musician). ME on the other hand, only grab onto the part of her statement, and before my Christian filter could process what I was about to say, out of my mouth flies: What?!?! There's SEX IN HEAVEN??
Oh yes….Dear Pastor: I'm sorry. Dear Youth Minister: I'm sorry.
And the girls, now in college, STILL remind me of this. LOL
I KNEW when I read your post about your "wardrobe malfunction"(dress pulled down in front) awhile back that you had had another "breast mixup somewhere along the line!!!
Still too funny!!!
Kathie
LOL oh that must have been hillarious!!!!
That is just too funny!! I'm cracking up here…hilarious. Hugs
Oh. My. Goodness. That is so funny! I could totally see myself saying something like that. The part of the guys on the little ear bud things is just icing on the cake. Now all month long I will be thinking of "Breast Awareness Month" LOL
That's a good one! Oh my goodness what a hoot! I wonder if there were any people there for the first time that day.
What a welcome!!!!
Thanks for a good laugh.
So hilarious!!!! I am laughing as I type!!! Reminds me- before I was married…my maiden name was Flatness. As you can probably guess- I am anything BUT. So on a typical day when someone saw my name on a check or whatever- yep the response completely busting out- pun intended!
That's TOO funny, Linny!! That reminds me of a blooper my dad once made while preaching on a Wednesday evening when I was a young teen. He was preaching along when he mentioned the "Devil's diary farts"!!!! Well, I got to laughing SO incredibly hard!!! I could not contain myself for the rest of the sermon b/c those words kept coming back to mind. Of course whenever I hear the mention of "Fiery Darts of the Devil", I chuckle and think of my sweet dad! 🙂
I needed to laugh tonight. Sorry it was at your expense, but thank you!
Still laughing…
Denise
Thanks for the laugh Linny! When you wrote about Emma leaning over and saying "I love you Mom" tears welled up in my eyes. Great story!
Oh my goodness…thank you for a good laugh tonight!
bahahahahaha….that is hysterical! Only YOU!!
Somehow this is even funnier reading it this time. Probably because the "Breast Awareness" thing is going on everywhere…
Why is it that those kind of moments happen in CHURCH of all places? Sounds like the fun just kept piling on afterwards with Emma's take on it and Graham's retelling of the worship guy's comment. That had to redden Graham's cheeks!
And umm… your church tapes those sermons, right??? 🙂
Thanks for sharing – a timely laugh!
Linny that is just too funny…
I just have to ask!!! have you noticed an increase in your church membership since your liberating statement??? LOL
I am totally convinced that the new name for your church should be:
The First Church of What's Happening Now…
soooooo funny! I didn't start actually crying until I read what Carie texted you 🙂
Bawahahahahahahahaha! So glad you shared this! I pictured the whole congregation, the band, your hubby, you…HILARIOUS!