Questions & Answers Part 2

Thank you so much to so many of you who emailed or commented with questions. As I have said before, I am definitely not an expert….but here are my thoughts on some of the things that are on your heart.

Q: As a 29 year old single (never been married) woman, how should I pray for a spouse? Is it biblically correct to do so? Should I shy away or pretend this desire does not exist in my heart? Well-meaning friends always say, “Your husband will come when you least expect him, so just don’t think about it.” However, the Bible tells us to pray without ceasing regarding a matter and that often times we have not because we ask not. But does God get tired of these type prayers from His daughters (desire for a husband and family)? How should I pray? Please advise…thanks! 🙂

A. The scriptures you mention are huge to me. I am convinced that desiring a husband is a God-given desire. Of course, I do believe you should pray specifically. I spent hours and hours alone in my room growing up and much of that time I spent talking to the Lord. From a very early age I started asking Him for all the qualities I deemed important – starting with a man passionate about Jesus Christ down to even having a hairy chest and hairy legs. =) So pray – pray – pray!!

BUT at the same time I would also get involved investing in others lives. Since I don’t know you, I can’t see how you operate on a normal day. Dw and I have met far too many singles who are obsessed with finding their mate. I don’t think that’s what God intended either. I would make a very specific prayer list for a husband and pray for it daily. BUT then I would spend my free time investing in a ministry that reaches out to others in deep need. Whether it’s an orphan ministry or something like Adopt-A-Block (community outreach). Keeping yourself Christ-centeredly busy is the best tool to use when waiting for God to move!

Q. When/How did you and Mr. Dw know you were called to adopt children? Has adoption and missions always been a passion in your family?

A. I remember being about 10 or 11 years old and walking thru the Boulevard Mall in Amherst, NY with my mom. We were linked arm and arm and I saw an Asian man walking on the opposite side of the mall. I remember leaning over to whisper to my mom: “Isn’t he the most handsome man you have ever seen?” (I was admiringly smitten!) It was right around there where I began to dream of having Asian babies one day.

While spending all that time in my room growing up I made myself a dollhouse on paper. I had 18 children on that paper dollhouse. All of them were named and I was the happiest mom. I wanted a houseful and I wanted it to be full of kids of all races and nationalities…I felt like that best reflected God’s heart.

When Dw and I dated I told him I wanted a boatload of kids. He thought I probably meant about 5 or so, as I was never specific. *giggle* The rest is history. =)

Q. How come it seems that there are alot of women who have a heart to adopt and their husbands don’t? OR I feel we are to adopt and my husband is not on board. What should I do?

A. Dw would be the first to tell you that in our 30+ years of marriage that when almost everything big was going to happen God spoke to me first. Why is that? NO CLUE! But it has happened that way for us over and over and over. Could it just be that women are a tad more spiritually sensitive? (Sorry, male friends I just purely a thought.)

But this is my advice to woman whose husband doesn’t feel “the call” to adopt. I tell them all to pray and fast – do it to move the mountains. Of course, don’t tell your husband what you are doing – you can tell him after your little one is home. I have fasted and prayed about things that Dw is not interested or open to and watched God move on his heart. It often takes time – so don’t give up hope! The Lord has a good plan. Watch and see it unfold as you are obedient and have a great attitude while you wait. Grumbling and nagging never got any woman I know anywhere. Have a thankful heart for all your husband has done and does…thankfulness and a great attitude seems to help move the man in my life pretty well too.

Q. What’s happening with Jubilee?

A. Jubilee’s dossier was logged in on April 9th, 2009 (finally!). Obviously adoption timelines are not dependable….but our best guess is that we will travel sometime in late August or early September. (But remember – that’s only a guess!) All we can do is pray for God’s timing and that His hand of protection is over her. She has waited far too long for a mommy and daddy and lots of brothers and sisters…so hang on sweet Jubilee Promise – we’re coming – we’re coming!

8 thoughts on “Questions & Answers Part 2

  1. My husband and I are newlyweds (2 years in June, thats still newlywed status, right?) Recently we were trying to think of a way to fight off discouragement and remember what the Lord has done in us. I remembered coming across your blog some time ago and reading the post about the Zipl*c bags in your Memorial Box. I read up on your Memorial Box and just tonight we started our own called the “Treasure Trove.”
    In classic newlywed style, right now it is just a clear, shoebox sized Rubberma*d container but it does the deed! We had been writing out truths and reminders of what the Lord has done on paper on the wall, but it is going to be so great to have physical reminders.
    Thanks for the idea.
    Thanks for blogging.

  2. K love your questions and answers. My pretend family had 13 in it!! They were either marbles or crayons what ever I happened to be playing with at the time!

    Thank you for sharing!
    Bless you,

  3. Oh Linny, what a blessing your words were to me tonight. I have really been struggling with the whole adoption thing. My heart is breaking, and my husband has NO interest still.

    I have been a Christian my whole life, but I don’t really understand the fasting thing. Can you shed some biblical light for me? I desperately want to do more than just pray about this. Thank you!

  4. I totally agree with all that you said here! Praying without ceasing for something that is a desire of our hearts whether it be for a husband or a husband willing to adopt is what He wants us to do. Look at how long Abraham had to wait. I am hoping that you come in September for Jubilee so I am here! Hope you’ll be able to stop into PHF!

  5. Good Questions Good Answers. I have to say when I faced the possibility I would never find that husband, I started praying every day, without ceasing – of course not with any one person in mind. I was doing a lot of other things and well past the age others become grandmothers. I was surprised at the speed with which it all happened after that.

    On husbands not wanting to adopt, mine said yes when I told him I was convicted at a particular moment there was a girl born in china that was our daughter. He was in pain, recovering from knee surgery 2 days before, but said yes. Turned out our dd’s (identified as NSN assigned by China) estimated birthdate was within four days of that “moment” at 10:30 am. You never will know how close God really is.

    Note: It is my firm belief that all of these kids, called special needs or not are special needs. There are so many unidentified conditions or common problems that make them all special needs -never mind the attachment challenges they each face. So if you are adopting NSN- be ready. I had disclosed and made a personal commitment to God to accept a child with a particular special need because I understood it. I got that and more challenges in my NSN child, we are still working on finding out all of her medical mysteries, but the journey is a blessed one.

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