This Girl

As the time here is drawing to a close,
it is with a true pain in my heart 
that I think of leaving.
After the team left there was a night I 
just couldn’t sleep,
much was on my mind.
Maybe I was groggy, 
but every few minutes I would count 
how many days remained
with my treasured baby girl.
Finally, 
after counting the same number 
 two dozen times
I shook my head in frustration
at myself.
No matter the number of times
I had counted,
 the number had not change.
I told Emma as she prepared to move 
here permanently last year, 
that I was absolutely certain the Lord
called her at age six, 
to prepare me.
He knew I would need a really 
long, long, long time to get ready.
In April, as Liberty and I drove to the airport
to head home, 
there was some rain and in the distance
there sat a beautiful rainbow.
I was stunned to see it.
After all, it rains here in Africa often,
but I had not seen a rainbow ever here.
At once I heard the Lord’s familiar whisper,
“Do you see that rainbow?
I set it there just for you this morning.
I am reminding you that 
I keep my promises.  
I go before her.
I am her rear guard.  
I am always faithful.
I will tenderly care for her and hers.
I love her even more than you do.”
Although the familiar ache in my chest present,
the rainbow is also seen clearly in my mind.
To all those with children who serve
as full-time missionaries around the world,
you know what I mean.

“The angel of the Lord encamps round 
about those who fear Him, 
and He rescues them.”  
Psalm 37:4
Thankful that His promises never, ever change.

18 thoughts on “This Girl

  1. Praying for your momma heart — I know that feeling and mine are just across the country – not the world. What an amazing job you have done in releasing Emma to do what God called her to do. I know that blesses her tremendously and that support and encouragement are a backbone of her ministry. I love you!

    1. Thank you Chrisann. I just want to scream and cry and pitch a big ol' hissy fit {which I am just not really a fit-pitcher} however…I can feel it wanting to come. I just hate being so stinkin' far away. We have laughed, cried, laughed some more, whispered deep thoughts…and snuggled. Ugh. It's just not enough time. Ever.

  2. Love to you, Linny. I've got a daughter far away, too. Over and over the Lord has shown Himself faithful in caring for her so tenderly, bringing others in to her life to reach out to her and be there for her, providing for her needs. It is hard for a mama to be so far away, but such a comfort that she is in the Lord's tender care, never beyond His reach and strength. :) "He giveth more grace."

    1. YOu are so right RObin. Thank you for caring. He has been so faithful. I know this. I have seen it. I just hate being so far, far away. She's too much fun to miss the days with. Her LM is beyond precious. I pray I can return soon.

  3. Traveling to see my Haiti serving girl soon. I understand the feeling. Thank you for sharing God's provision for you…it is a comfort to this mother heart as well.
    Keep up the God work.

  4. Praying for you. I always tell people that being a mom and raising these arrows for the Lord is the most painful, joyful journey I have ever experienced. I guess we all need to move there. Sounds good to me!

  5. Dear Friend- I can so understand the heaviness in your heart as you said goodbye to your sweet Emma. God bless her and God bless you.
    HUGS from MN,
    Jean

  6. Linny, my heart knows a bit of what you are feeling. My sis is serving with her family (husband and my 4 beautiful nieces) in Arua, Uganda! It hurts a lot and yet it is so amazing the faithfulness! She is being used in ways I cannot even comprehend. The Lord knows and I am so thankful He holds us both in His very capable hands! Trusting that He will continue to hold you and your baby as well! I'm so proud of your Emma and I'm just a blog friend! So thankful that the Lord still calls and uses us all over this BIG world! Thank you freeing her to serve!

    1. Yes, I imagine you do understand it some. So proud of those we love serving so far away…but the ache is real and literal. So thankful for God's faithfulness and that He NEVER slumbers.

  7. I can only imagine how much your heart aches as you say "so long" to your baby girl. She has a more grown up, mature look about her. No doubt God is working mightily in and through that sweet girl.

    1. She has grown so much. She always was very mature…but this has been a course on "steroids"…with the things she has had to do and the difficult circumstances she has faced – by God's grace and strength alone. SO thankful she has a beautiful, intimate walk with God. xo

    2. Oh Linny, that must be so hard…..I will pass on to you this prayer of protection that I pray for my loved ones every night:

      In the name of Adonai, the G-d of Israel: at my [your] right hand, Michael; at my left hand, Gabriel; in front of me, Uriel; behind me, Raphael; above my head (and I add, and below and all around me) the presence of G-d.

      (Sorry, it sounds better in Hebrew!)

    3. What a beautiful prayer Penny. I am thankful that God never, ever, sleeps. How that is, who can imagine? BUT! what a comfort…You are such a blessing my friend..I loveyou!! xoxo

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