Should A Single Woman Adopt?

It’s 2:10 AM and I have not been able to sleep.
I knew this question was churning all day
in my heart for a reason!! This question has come
up so many times, and even more so with
the post the other day about our treasure Elizabeth,
that I just had to address it publicly.
I am thrilled that so many are wondering and
praying and asking.
Here’s my thoughts…..
I have often heard people say, “I am praying to see
if this is the Lord’s will for me. I have such a
desire to adopt, but I am single.”
There are two concerns that come to mind with this question:
1. Is it God’s will?
2. But I’m single…
Whether it’s about adoption or really anything else –
when praying about “God’s will” we must first
find out if it in any way contradicts with scripture.
If it does, then it is most definitely NOT God’s will.
When this applies to adoption, the question should be…..
“Is there anywhere in scripture where God says,
“Do NOT care for the orphans”?”
Of course there is NOT!!Almighty God says there
are two things that show true religion:

{1} caring for the orphan
{2} caring for the widow.

There is not one place in scripture that I am aware of
that God says, “You are single, sit back and take 
it easy, the care of the orphans is only for them-thar 
married folk.”
Not a chance!!
The Lord has one definition of “true religion”:“Caring for the orphan and widow”
James 1:27

He did NOT say that pure religion was being a:
pastor; staff pastor; Bible college employee;
Sunday School teacher; world evangelist; prophet;
deacon; elder a nice person or anything else…..
He simply said:

show me you love me by caring 
for the orphans and widows.
Okay, so now is it God’s will that single people
{specifically} care for them. At the risk of sounding silly:
How could something that is clearly God’s heart
not be His will for you?
I tend to think that people who struggle with this question
are truly struggling with this:I want this so bad, I must not be worthy of it.

{And that would be a lie from the pit of hell.}

Sweet bloggy friends: God has given you ONE life to live.
It is only to be lived for Him. If it is lived for Him,
He will one day say, “Well done thou good and
faithful servant.” It is not to be lived to please
yourself but to please Him and only Him.
So how could God’s will be different for you just
because you are single?

It isn’t.

It is the same.

We are to live to please Him by taking care of orphans, caring for the widows, serving the poor, giving our things away, living to meet the needs of others not our own personal wants.
If you are looking for permission to adopt – here it is:

God’s word says to do it!

He does not have one standard for married people 
and one standard for the single person.In fact you are in a better position! I hear from many
married folks whose heart wants desperately
to adopt yet their spouse says, “not a chance”.
{To which I say: fast and pray for a change in
your spouses heart, but don’t tell them you
are fasting for that reason.}

The other day I was downtown with Dw. Infact, come
to think of it, it was our anniversary. We had some
time to waste as we were waiting for our dinner
reservation time. We went in a little shop and
there was a sign for sale.
It struck me funny.
You have to remember we have been
happily married for 31 years
{to the day}…..
but that sign said:
Any woman wanting a husband has obviously never had one
I laughed when I read it. I am a counselor by trade.
I have talked to a bazillion ladies who are so
unhappy with their husbands. And I have talked
to more than my share of women who were once
single and thought that happiness would come
when they found that perfect man. Only thing is
that that perfect man doesn’t exist. And today,
there are even fewer Godly men in existence.
You can wait for that perfect man and waste valuable
years that could have been spent raising precious
little ones in desperate need of a mommy.
Two parent homes are thought by many to be ideal,
but really….who says that has to be?Ever asked an orphan?

“Ummmmm, excuse me. I am single. I want to be a mommy…
but I am waiting for a daddy…
so in the meantime you sit there and enjoy
that orphanage….cause I’m sure you’d rather
be one of 400 kids….with no one to kiss your boo-boos
or listen to your dreams while I sit over
here waiting for Mr. Right.”

Yeah, I don’t think so.
There are kids all over this world who are longing
for someone to say, “You are mine and we’re in this
together. We may not have a daddy at the moment
{or maybe ever}, but we will let God be your daddy
and I will be your mommy, and by the way
He happens to be a really cool daddy, infact He
is the only Perfect Daddy.”
Here are some kids that you could pose that question to:
Would you rather have just a mommy and not a daddy


Would you rather wait, hope, dream that someday a mommy & daddy come for you?

I applaud the courage of some of my sweet bloggy
friends like: Carol {in northern Colorado}, Sandee,
and Nancy…..just a few of the women who have said,
“I am not married, but I can be a great mom and
I’m not waiting for a husband to do that. I will care
for the orphan because that’s God’s will for all of us!”
You guys have my utmost respect – may God pours
heaps of blessings on you and your children!!
So maybe you’re still not convinced……take time to
fast and pray and study scripture…..just for starters
take a look at these folks…..
Esther….who God used to protect the Jewish nation
from certain impending death….Esther was raised by her
uncle…and there is never a mention of an aunt.
(Doesn’t mean there wasn’t an aunt,
but she obviously wasn’t very important to the story.)
Or how about Moses……drawn out of the water and
eventually lived with Pharoah’s daughter….
never a mention of Pharoah’s daughter’s husband….
(Doesn’t mean there wasn’t one, but he obviously
wasn’t very important to the story.)
 And on that note….I am 100% convinced that

 single women should adopt.

I am 100% convinced that it is God’s heart.
I am 100% convinced that He will meet every single
need each one has as they are in the process
and throughout raising each child.
I am 100% convinced that God has a child
in mind for each of you who are willing to say,
“Okay, I’m going for it!”
I am 100% convinced that the body of Christ has been called
to partner with singles who adopt to make
their road smoother.
I am 100% convinced that there are kids all
around this world wondering and praying and
begging God if there couldn’t possibly be
a mommy out there for them?
I am 100% that you will make a great mommy!
I am 100% convinced that His plan for you is NOW!

118 thoughts on “Should A Single Woman Adopt?

  1. Linny, I'm a 100% behind you in what you have just posted. Adoption is God's heart, whether he adopts us as His child through salvation or whether we adopt an orphan. Everything you said is bang on. I applaud any single woman who has a heart for adoption and adopts.

    Beautiful post and 100% right on!!


  2. i am 100% convinced that you made an impact today!!
    perhaps i should begin fasting and praying. . . for i have a husband who is (old. . . 53 haha) not crazy about the idea of adoption. not in the least.
    my heart has yearned for this for the past 10 years. i have always wondered, why did God put that desire on my heart only to break it? i have convinced myself it's because i'm selfish, or trying to fill the void of losing two children.
    my kids support it 100% but now we are financing two college educations.
    i hate how decisions always come down to money. and husbands often don't think with their hearts, they think with their wallets.
    i'll commit it to some hearty prayer and fasting (that and how we're going to pay for college. . . a big struggle right now)
    still waiting patiently about your memory box. . . can't wait to hear!! oh wait. i said i was waiting patiently.
    must. try. harder!

  3. Thanks for posting this Linn. I am going to share this with my best friend, who has never been married and adopted a beautiful little girl through foster care (and currently praying and considering international adoption). When we were best friends in high school, who would've thought we would adopt in the same year, in our 40's?! I completely agree with you, as any family is no family at all. However, it is not an easy job, and we need to lift up single parents in prayer, as well as reaching out and giving them a break every once in awhile. If anyone reading this knows a single adoptive parent (or any single parent for that matter), what can you do to help make their job a little easier? Babysit while they get a break? Invite them over for dinner? Change the oil in their car? Be on call when they're sick? The opportunities are endless:)

  4. AMEN!!!!
    I am so thankful for my husband even though right now I am a single Mom b/c of deploym@nt.
    This has been a subject of much debate and I appreciate your time and attention, thought and prayer to it. what an encouragement this will be to so many Moms and Moms in waiting!!
    Thank you!
    Hope you got our blessing and photo in the mail for your new house.

  5. THANK YOU for posting this. 🙂 I am sending the link to my singles adoption list. I adopted as a single (2 girls) and later (5 years ago) God provided a daddy for my girls. (we now had a little boy that we adopted too).

    Wendy (
    mommy to Emily (India-10), Melody (China-8) & Steven (China-3)

  6. Oh, Linny! I do love you so! Thank you for pleading my case so clearly! I can say without a qualm that adopting as a single mother is many things at once. It CAN be really hard. It can be wearying, and emotional, and draining. But REALLY…isn't ALL parenting those things? BUT…it is the very BEST thing I have ever done, besides accepting Jesus! This girl of mine blesses me WAY more than I could EVER bless her! She humbles me, is a far better person than I am, and in being so, challenges me every day to become a better person, to try and catch up with her!


    Love you…Nancy & ShaoXi

  7. Thank you for your kind words! I tried foster parenting when I was single. It was too difficult and I thought it'd get easier when I got married.

    I married and became an instant mommy to 2 abused (by birth mom, husband's ex) children. It has been quite an experience.

    I believe my short stint as a single foster mom helped prepare me for my two children.

    Single parenthood is not easy but doable when God is in control and He is one's top priority!!

  8. Linny,

    I adopted my son from Guatemala as a young single women. I started the paperwork at 24 and he came home forever when I was 26. I wouldn't change a thing!! I always wanted to adopt. I didn't even start looking for Mr. Right. I just started the paperwork and became a mommy!! 🙂 I am 27 now and he just turned 2. In 2 months we will be celebrating our first forever family day!

  9. Amen! The only reason I have not yet adopted as a single woman is that God was doing some amazing things in my life career wise which have required me to move around the country.

    I was a Big Sister in Big Brothers/Big Sisters and currently have a single mom and her 11 month old living with me.

    Plus, now that I'm about to marry, we do plan on adopting soon. I told him on the first date that adoption is something I really want to do.

  10. Wow love this post! Before we married my husband and I had many talks on adopting because he knew this was something I wanted to do. I needed him to want this as much as me and he does.

    If I was still single I would so do it on my own. A single mother is better than no mother at all.

    Thanks for writing on this topic…many do not dare to talk about it:-)

    Great post and i look forward to reading more:-)

  11. I stumbled upon your blog and have been reading since bringing the babies home from Africa. I am a single mommy to a beautiful chinese daughter 3 years ago. She has brought me nothing but joy. I tried to ignore God's calling to adopt again, but in the end, I surrendered. I had the typical worries, would I have enough time for a second, what country, where would I get the money? Since China no longer accepts singles and Vietnam has a moritorium, I needed to explore new options. I have finished paperchasing and waiting on my fingerprints to adopt a second child from Haiti. Documents are currently being translated into french. I live simply and I trust that I will have all that I need. My family is less than enthusiatic about my decison, I'm unsure whether they are worried about the finacial strain or that the child will be black. Your recent posts have strengthened my committment to bring my child home and have given me the courage to ignore the neigh sayers and trust in God. I was a foster parent for 2 african american children ages 5 and 7, so I understand first hand the joys and struggles parenting a child of color. I am so happy that your husband is feeling better and your son can move more freely without the casts. I continue to lift your daughter up in prayer and ask for some aswers and recovery. Thank you again for sharing your heart with your blogging friends.

  12. Thank you Linny. I have had occassional doubts that it was truly God's will that I adopt during this long 5-year wait for my daughter. But you are so totally right, He gave us numerous examples of great single parents so you have put my heart at ease. So thank you.
    LID 3/27/2006

  13. Oooooh, I was worried when I read the title of this post.
    I'm a single mum, my daughter's been home just over 2 years and at nearly 3 she is just beginning to notice that there's no daddy. We've bought each other so much peace and happiness, undoubtedly there'd be even more with a daddy too but there might also be conflict and uncertainty if our parenting styles weren't the same.
    I'm now pursueing a SN adoption from Thailand – as a single I can only have a SN child from Thailand, whilst I'm quite happy to have a SN child the logic of why singles can't adopt healthy children escapes me, but I do understand that they are perfectly entitled to make whatever rules they please!

  14. my single aunt adopted 2 children from Russia 17 years ago. My mom cared for the kids while my aunt was at work, and those children were constantly surrounded by family and church family. Those kids have turned out to be a Godly young man and woman. i know that my aunt saved them in more ways than one!!!
    -erin vega

  15. I am crying, thank you so much, you hit the nail on the head I often think because I'm single I don't deserve to be a mum. ALL of my single Christian friends are "waiting on the Lord to provide a husband so I can have my own children". I am hearing the Lord talking to me about orphans, I am praying on my knees daily for them, I am seeing them around me and I'm wanting to do it, to follow the Lord's teaching but so often feel because of comments by Christians I'm doing something wrong. THANK YOU!
    p.s. As a single woman I can confirm the Lord is a fab husband and no doubt will be a great Father! 🙂

  16. Thanks Linny….

    From one single mom to 2 of the most wonderful blessings. God laid it on my heart, referred the perfect child(ren) to me. Even when my first daughter (NSN) turned out to be deaf, He opened doors whenever I saw a wall. I am on an AMAZING journey. It doesn't mean I'm not envious of those with really wonderful marriages though. AND, if I wasn't single, I think I could adopt a few more. Thankfully, God has laid a content heart on me with my 2.

  17. Whant an AWESOME post….I am one of those "married" folks whose spouse says "not a chance" We currently have 5 biological children and my heart has been for adoption for quite sometime. I have often thought what if we don't adopt and God does have a child out there waiting for "us". Will that child remain parentless all because he said not a chance….

  18. Linn,
    You are SO right! Orphans ARE meant to be cared for not only by the married, but by the single. I was one of them. I adopted as a single parent, and two years later found her DAD. God led me to my Daughter and THEN to my husband. And my husband has since adopted Anna!

    Not only did I adopt as a single mom, but I adopted as a single mom with a disability. I am legally blind and can not drive. The body of Christ DID support me. They were there to lend us rides. God provided for every one of my needs. Rides to and from work, my childcare needs were met, finances were met. Even things that we didn't necessarily "need" but wanted, such as rides to allow my son to play t-ball or my daughter to pick a special toy from the store. God met EACH AND EVERY need! It was a blessing to see my struggle turn into God's handiwork!

    I am blessed to have found a Godly man who loves my daughter like his own and is ready to go get another child! Praise GOD!!! But, I'm convinced God would have continued to provide and bless our family as a family with only a mom!

    Singles can offer so much to a child! There are so many. Thank you for encouraging the singles to care for the least of these!

    In Christian Love,

  19. Thank you Linny, I'm a lurking single adoptive mom that enjoys reading your blog daily. You've blessed me many times over. If your bloggy friend has any questions for a single adoptive mom I would love to help her out. My life has been richly blessed and I can't imagine life with out my kids. I daily thank God for allowing me to be their momma.

  20. Linny, Linny, Linny,

    I am standing on my feet applauding you! BRavo Bravo! I am thinking of all the little children you may have just given hope to …in tears.

    I struggle with this on my first adoption….and God whispered in my soul "if not you, then who?" You who loves kids, you who has the fire and passion to adopt, you who has the provision I give. You who hears the call and shouts in her heart SEND ME SEND ME. If not you, then who.

    Bravo …thank you. Bravo!

  21. Linny,
    I am with you!!! I am married, we have adopted three, and maybe more in the future if God enables us to do so. I have two beautiful, successful, intelligent, and infinitely loving sisters that are either 40 or near 40 with not a husband in sight. They want children. I tell them all the time, "when you are ready, you can adopt." They think it's unfair to a child, but as you point out so eloquently, and as I have tried to point out but less eloquently, it's better to have 1 Mama and no Daddy, than NO family at all.

    I am forwarding your post to them. 🙂 Now, would you please post another message about how Christian men need to stop navel gazing, and looking for the "perfect" woman, and take a look at the women that are right there in front of them? I could be completely wrong in my observations, but it seems like a lot of Christian guys of a certain age (over 35) are too obsessed with the perfect mate. As I tell my oldest son who has an innate tendency toward perfectionism, "the only perfect person to ever walk the face of the earth was Jesus. The rest of us make mistakes and are horribly flawed. So get the perfection bug out of you." He's in second grade but if he gets one thing wrong, Oy! you'd think the world just about ended.

    Hugs to you! Thank you for your post!!!

  22. Great post Linny!
    I'm married, but I would probably have 10 kids if my husband would agree to it. There are SO many reluctant husbands. I also applaud single adoptive moms. Having been a single mom, it's not easy. But the rewards are bountiful!

  23. Amen. I need some of the babies in those pictures at my house. I have been home 9 months with my sweet Colombians and wondering if there are more. Thanks for your faithfulness.
    Jan in Alaska

  24. Thanks so much for this post…it's like you were reading my mind. I've been feeling lately that God is calling me to adopt as a single mom, but my fears have been holding me back. I've been praying about it and have finally taken some steps to actually do it. Your words are so encouraging and are just what I needed.

  25. Thank you for this post! I've been dreaming/thinking/wishing about this very thing recently. God answered my question/prayers through you. Thanks for being God's mouthpiece. 🙂

  26. Linny,
    Thanks so much for the post. From the time I was very little, I always, always knew I wanted to be a mom. I prayed and prayed that the Lord would bring a husband. He didn't, but He did bring my two guys, ages 7 and 9. Is it an ideal situation for two tall strapping African American boys to have a short, chubby, white mom? No. Would they be better off in a two parent African American family? Depending on the family, probably. BUT do I believe, with all my heart, that God brought these two precious boys into my life six years ago? ABSOLUTELY. And we love each other, and take care of each other, and I'm crazy about them. I'm feeling a real longing right now for more. Not sure what that is about, but who knows…

  27. Yes, single parenting is possible! I have no regret at all in deciding to go that path when my bio daughter's dad decided parenthood was too much of a responsibility. We added 2 siblings from China and are quite happy as a family of four! Thank you for encouraging more of us to give it a go!

  28. Awesome Post! I am a single mom of 3 ages 18, 11 and 5. I adopted my baby in an open domestic adoption. Recently God has begun stirring in my heart about a special needs adoption. I am seeking after him to just show me when and how. I know God has another little one int he works for my family! Cant wait to meet him!

    Thanks for the post! I love you blog by the way!

  29. That was beautifully said Linny-thank you so much!!! I totally agree, and also about the reluctant husband. God made it clear to me that my responsibility to be the best Mum that I could be(with His help) and to pray and fast for my husband, and He completely turned him around without me ever saying a word:-) We now have 2 adopted children and have fostered many more and will continue to adopt in the future-hopefully sooner rather than later! Thank you for all your words of wisdom here-I love coming to read your blog:-)

  30. A dear family friend adopted a beautiful little boy. SHe never married. Jordan has a wonderful home, a church home, a good education and will impact this world for good.

    God has showed us that the "widows and orphans" in our lives are those we come in contact with each day who walk a Christian life without a Christian spouse; who have no Christian parents and are Spiritual Orphans. We live in such a blessed community yet 50% of Durango children are at our below poverty level.

    That's why I"v loved this "sale" -to touch those who need us in our own backyard. I pray that tomorrow, we can literally touch people with CHrist's love and those "orphans and widows" learn they are no longer alone – we love them! God loves them! The River loves them!

    How exciting!!!!!

    (see? I can comment!!! :)))) )

  31. Amen! I leave in 10 days to get my daughter and if I listened to the world that said single women shouldn't adopt, I would have stopped this journey 5 years ago. I had to start believing that Jesus was my husband and treating Him that way. He will be her Abba Father that she needs. If and when He sends me the man He has designed for me, he will love my daughter too. Being single shouldn't stop you from following God's path. And don't let finances be something that stops you either. He raised $14,500 for my adoption. He is the great provider. Where He guides, He provides!

  32. Great post!! And what about single men? It is hard for them to find adoption agencies that will work with them–sadly–but some men have the desire to be dads and aren't married either. A needy child would love a godly, loving daddy too even if there was not a mom involved. I support them as well as single moms.

    Carrie T. – married mom of 4 from Korea

  33. Okay so this has absolutely nothing to do with your post (which rocked by the way!) but I figured this was the fastest way to get ahold of you… I've gotta feeling your a little behind in your email 😉 So…. I love your Memorial Box monday, I love reading yours, I love writing mine… and I have a feeling that I would also enjoy reading others so I made you a 'button' that you could use to advertise Memorial Box Monday… I put it on my blog on my post, check it out. If you like it I want you to use it… and I would love Love LOVE you to start putting up a Mr. Linky (or something similar) if its not to much trouble so those of us out here in blog land who want to can link to your Memorial Box posts and as a bloggy community we can all link up and share in remembering what God has done for us… so anywho… check it out and tell me what you think. & please don't publish this comment, it has no business being a comment. :0)

  34. I absolutely love this post! And your last line about the time being NOW makes me wish I was in the position to adopt RIGHT now.

    As a young single woman that plans on adopting this post is really encouraging, thank you!


  35. GREAT post Linny!! Thanks for showing your support to all of us single adoptive moms!!! How awesome it was to see how many there are who read your blog!! 🙂
    Robin (who is in Uganda and always considering another…)

  36. GREAT post Linny!! Thanks for showing your support to all of us single adoptive moms!!! How awesome it was to see how many there are who read your blog!! 🙂
    Robin (who is in Uganda and always considering another…)

  37. Thank you for this post, Linny! You are so right, God did not put any conditions on His mandate to care and show love towards the orphans and widows. I totally agree that if God has placed adoption on your heart, that desire is there for a reason. Pray for His guidance on where to adopt from, timing, and avenues to pursue.

    And for those singles who do not feel as though adoption is a part of their calling, you still can fulfill God's mandate by coming along side of those who do adopt. Offer your time, your resources, your gifts/talents, and love to support the single moms that are called to adopt. I'm sure your support and friendship would be a blessing in their lives. Also, the same applies to the widows and elderly generation. Spend time with them, offer support, and glean from their wisdom. There are many ways to help. 🙂

    I'm going to share this post with my fellow single friends that are 30+ whom doctors have advised to freeze their eggs because that would be "the only way" to have children. That's a lie!! First and foremost, God is the Doctor who is in control of reproductive systems and if He wants a child to come through you, it will be regardless of age. Second, adoption is a beautiful way to become a mommy or daddy and there are so many children (domestically and internationally) who need homes. I personally know of a single man who adopted brothers (I believe they were 7 and 11 at the time) because he truly desired to be a father even if Mrs. Right had yet to arrive on the scene. And those boys are sooooooo happy to no longer be tossed from home-to-home and orphanage-to-orphanage into a home of their own…forever. So happy! So, please, please consider adoption if you desire children.

    Thanks for sharing your viewpoint, Linny. Beautiful post!


  38. Thank you for posting this! I am a single (widowed) mom of 2 bio kids and I am in the process of adopting a 9 year old with Down syndrome from Hong Kong. I am pretty sure this won't be my last adoption. It is great to hear your godly views on this.

  39. Linny,
    I am single (45, never married) and am adopting from China. I've be waiting for over 3 1/2 years so far. I just wanted to thank you so much for your opinion on God's Word regarding singles adopting. I have unfortunately lost 3 of my best friends (4 years ago) because they thought that my adopting was outside of God's will. I knew that I was supposed to be doing this and know that God is in the process 100%. I am very excited to see what God does in my life as well as my daughter's. Thank you so much for allowing us to follow your family and your ministry. Love in Christ!

  40. Okay Linny, I have read through all 59 comments– make that "Simply Sweet Words" you have posted so far . . . and you know what? They are waaaay more than simply sweet . . .

    Hearts were changed because of that post! Many, many mamas, and mamas-to-be were encouraged because of that post! And I know in my heart more orphans are going to get themselves a mama, because you took the time, and because you were obedient, to write that post! Linny I can just see the Lord smilin' the biggest ol' smile down on you, and He's sayin' that's MY girl! So pleased!

    Thank you my friend for teaching us, encouraging us, enlightening us . . . thank you for sharing God's heart with us.

    Love you!

    Tina xo

  41. Linny~ I just LOVE you! You are such a wise woman and an advocate for all things Godly, and have allowed yourself to be a vessel that He can work through to reach fellow women through His word. I thank God for you my dear friend. What a blessing you are!! <><

    Big Hugs,

  42. Thank you!!

    I've come back to re-read this post about 10 times over the past few days. I never wanted to be a mother. Until a random morning more than 2 years ago when I woke up KNOWING that I would be a mom via adoption. I just know in my heart that it is God's path for me. But as a single who is noWhere near a place financially to make it happen, I feel lost. I want it so badly that it brings me to tears weekly. But I feel so guilty to even ask for prayers as I am single and feel undeserving. I have no idea how but if I could I would adopt tomorrow. I feel it so strongly in my heart. Its the how that I am still unclear about…

  43. I want to mention to those who are feeling the cost of international adoption is prohibitive at this time, God will lead you.

    Perhaps consider fost-adopt programs. In our state, the cost of adopting a child that is in the foster program is less than $1000 and you get a stipend for them until they reach 18. I was in the fost-adopt program for a year. I later adopted from China and am now adopting from Ethiopia. But if I adopted a third time, I would go back and look at the fost-adopt program for my state. There are thousands of children in need of loving mommy's and it is not cost prohibitive.

  44. Linny,

    Sorry to post so much on this blog, but you said something I would love to ask you to blog about. One thing you said was:

    "And today, there are even fewer Godly men in existence."

    I wonder why that is true? {Is it true?} I know I go around thinking it is true, and have seen no evidence to the contrary…in mere numbers and depth.

    And as first a mother of sons, who I long to raise to be Godly men, I am desperate to know why there are fewer. What is either pulling them away from a life in God, or not pulling them toward one? What as momma's can we do? As church's? As communities?

    Jesus started with 12 men, which has alwasys amazed me. I DO see godly men, in less numbers than passionate for Jesus woman…what makes those fewer passionate and captured by the heart of God. What can we do to impact that?

    For our sons and for the future of our daughters who do want marriage?

    Would love to hear your thoughts on a momma to many….and your readers thoughts as well.

    Blessings…sorry for commenting so much on this post. It is a thought-provoking one.

  45. Thank you Linny. As a single adoptive mom of a beautiful 4 year old, I appreciate your thoughts. It took me a while to realize that it was time to quit waiting and move ahead…though i know that it was God's timing because Lillie and I were a perfect match.
    Thank you again. In a time when countries don't all embrace single parenting, it is important for hopeful single moms to know that there is support for them other places.

  46. I love this post! And I love the fact that you made it so perfectly clear!! Get those children home to their Mommies ASAP! it is all about serving our Lord!

    Thank you Linny!!

  47. Thank you! I'm on my way to find my Elizabeth! Please pray for me…I've been rejected by two Ugandan orphanages because I am single. I just have to find the orphanage where God has her waiting.


  48. This is great! Thank you. I have felt this way for a very long time- but to hear it said so eloquently is moving. I too am single and adopting! You have a new follower!

  49. As I sit reading your post that my friend, Sandee mentioned, it is almost bringing tears to my eyes, I am trying not to cry, don't want my makeup to run. I am waiting in a foreign country as a single mother for the guide to come get me in an hour. I am the mother of 4 children, 3 are adopted and today at 1100am I will become the mother of my 5th child ! And this child is older, she is 13. Thank you for your post, it sure made my morning !

  50. God actually told me that my daughter is in China. I heard the still, small voice as clear as can be for a week before I started understanding what it meant. I began researching adoption and made a two year plan. 10 months later, God took over and implemented another plan. He is so great and good. His plan was all mine was and more and it happened faster. He will always provide a way to accomplish what He's asked us to do and I have a testimony that this is so true. I got a spot with an agency by a miracle, the money came by a miracle, I even have just bought a house! If anyone doubts God has plans for singles involving adoption, please read the beginning of my blog. I actually have a special journal where I recorded the daily miracles that were happening to me.

  51. ok I commented early then deleted it because I wanted to post your blog on my facebook.
    but I need some prayers here!
    As I had said before I am a single mom of 4 soon to be adopted blessings. My kids just had a sibling born. There is a huge battle between me, the county, and my agency as to whether or not I can have the baby… anyways off topic there!
    So tonight my MIL really really let me know how she feels about my adoptions… I am reeling from the shock of her heartlessness.
    I am really struggling here… lets just say its been an uphill battle with people, but this is the lowest of low!
    I am in need of a bigger house etc… my FIL ripped me off majorly after my DH died and things are really nitty gritty right now!

  52. Your blog post was sent to a list that I moderate for Christian single women who have adopted. I have a 10-year-old daughter from China who I adopted when I was 40, single and going through a mid-life crisis. I adopted her for just exactly the reasons you've enumerated here, but when she was about 2 years old (I got her when she was 10 months old), I realized that I went to China to "rescue" a baby, but she was the one who rescued me. I would love to invite any of your readers who are single and professing Christians to join our little band by clicking this link:

    Karyn Campbell

  53. Pretty sure you wrote that post just for me! I'm single, living in a fairly new (to me) place, far from family, SINGLE but have been feeling the call to foster parent. I'm terrified! But trusting God it will work out.

    Still in the planning/thinking stages of this but sometimes I'm a slow mover.

  54. Thank you so much for this post. It spoke to me so clearly. This past week and something I've been wondering if I was going against God's will by wanting to adopt and be single. I've been wanting adopt and be a mom for so long. I don't know when I'll get married if ever but I do know I have a heart for children biological and otherwise. I intend to use this desire to the fullest so thank you for letting me know that God says I can.
    I do want to post a part of this that has really touched me:

    "I tend to think that people who struggle with this question are truly struggling with this: I want this so bad, I must not be worthy of it. (And that would be a lie from the pit of hell.)"

    You are so right. I kept thinking about how I wanted to adopt but this nagging feeling was in me. I didn't understand and thought it was God telling me no its not His will. It's just me and feeling like I can't have this, shouldn't have this and yes, like I'm not worthy of it. Thank you so much for even just this little section. I'm saving this whole article, sticking it on my wall and thanking God that the desire he has given me is not one that I need a man to fulfill.

  55. I am sitting here in tears. I just found your blog through chance and thought your title about single women adopting was going to be a no. But then I read through it and it's just what I needed to hear today. I have a 2 year old son in Haiti who I finally got to visit in November. Christmas just seems to be a little harder this year because I want my boy with me. I truly have been blessed throughout this journey but reading this was like having my own cheerleader rooting me on. Amazing how God puts things there for us to find if we're willing to look. Thank you for this! I do love my boy so very much and am thrilled to be a mama after so many years of wanting and waiting. He may be home next spring or summer. Thank you seems like not enough so I'll add bless you from the bottom of my heart.

  56. Thank you so much for this beautiful post! I was a single who began an adoption and stalled for a few months making sure it was what God had for my life, not something I was making happen. Many prayed with me and I met with my pastor on a couple of occasions too. He shared some of what you did. In October of 2005 God gave me His blessing to proceed with Hannah's adoption and from that time forward I never looked back or questioned the wait…even though it was another 4+ years before God brought Hannah and I together. We've been a family for 2 1/2 months now and I can't imagine a single moment of my life without her!!! God is so good and I thank Him for leading me to adopt her and for the life He is blessing us with as a family together!!

  57. I couldn't agree with you more. I come from a place of hope because I always wanted a big family and married a minister when we were young. But when I was not able to have children biologically after having my one daughter, I prayed we could open our home to children from all over the world. We had multiple opportunities to adopt, but always at the last minute my husband would back out. Then we fostered to adopt two little boys, and my heart was gone immediately in love with them. We had them for a year and when it came time to make a decision about adoption, my then-husband again backed out. He said he could love one of them but not the other.

    God's will is not always clear. My heart broke over many things and I had a lot of questions for Him. It turns out my husband ended up leaving me and my daughter, and God brought me comfort and a miracle in the form of my present husband, who loves Him utterly and who loves me…and who would adopt any child God brought us from anywhere and count it a privilege. The irony is that we've not been in that position yet since we married, but I don't worry because I know God is big enough to do that if it's His will, and if it's not, we'll be cheering our friends towards their forever families including adoption, and will also keep learning not to overlook all the adults out here who need "adopting" too…we all need homes where we're loved, far beyond childhood.

    LOVE your website…and your family 🙂

  58. I just found your blog tonight. I read this post and am so thankful for it.

    I am a single mother formed via adoption.

    I recently read a wonderful book entitled:
    Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches

    I really liked this book however, the author talks about how single people shouldn't adopt. He is a pastor, adoptive father and was in seminary when he wrote the book, etc…

    It's been bothering me.
    I am so thankful for your post.

    My comment: Amen!

    And now…the prayers and work continues for child #3 in our family. A husband – that would be nice but it's not stopping the journey to parent orphans.

    Thankfully, He continues to provide all of our needs.

  59. Thank you for your heartfelt post. I'm so blessed by what I've read as I've struggled with the issue of adoption as a single woman for quite a while. God has used you as a tool in my life to continue on in my journey of obedience to adopt. Thanks again for sharing your heart and sharing the words that God has spoken.

  60. Thank you for this post. I've been thinking on single parent adoption for a few months now. One friend adamantly told me how wrong it was. Others have been supportive, but no one has offered such encouragement as I have found in this post. It isn't something I can do just yet, but something that I want to continue to pray about and hopefully pursue in the not too distant future.

  61. Umm, I probably just echo what everyone else has said here, but thank you for posting this. I am 20 years old, in nursing school…And God began to open my heart to the plight of the orphan when I was in high school. Since then, I have always wanted to adopt and foster "medically fragile" babies. Then I read articles–in "Christian" publications, nonetheless–that say it is "evil" for a single person to adopt, that it would be better for a child to live in an orphanage than go home to a single parent. Wow. Talk about discouraging. I have since learned that you cannot listen to the world–even the "Christian" world! God's Word is my standard. Thank you for encouraging us all to live by God's standard and not that of the world. Now I can't wait to graduate as a nurse, ready to be a mom to babies who have no one to hold their hands when they are scared, when they are being poked and prodded for reasons they don't understand. God has called me to this, and I will obey–with or without a man by my side! Love your heart!

  62. Dear Mrs. Linny,
    We don't know each other at all, but this blog entry popped up in my online search for single women to adopt.
    Unfortunately, I haven't had time to browse your blog to read information about your family (I'm not a stalker, I promise!), but I was wondering if you would be able to assist me with some adoption organizations…?
    I'm a 28-year-old Christian woman,living and working in Indonesia. I would like to begin the adoption process when I turn 30, b/c I think that's the minimum age for singles to adopt.
    I've a desire to adopt from India and/or Thailand, and I'd prefer to go through a Christian organization. I do plan on staying in Asia for awhile.
    Do you happen to have any recommendations for Christian adoption organizations for me?
    If so, you may reply to my email address, which is .
    Thank you for your time!
    p.s. You should already know this from your blog comments, but your blog is refreshing and inspiring, and it's encouraging to know that there are families who embrace adoption as a choice, not as a last resort to being a parent. THANK YOU!

  63. I always wanted a husband and kids, but the white wedding never happened for me. I don't know why. I've struggled with loneliness and despair. Now I am in my 40s. I am considering adoption. China does not let single parents adopt, so I am considering other countries.

  64. I just found your blog post about single moms through adoption and wanted to say thank you for what you wrote. I fully believe God leads singles to adopt because I can't deny His timing in meeting my daughter.

    I worked at an orphanage in Uganda and when I first arrived I prayed about adopting and felt God's answer was, "Not Yet". Ten months later, after the little girl I wanted to adopt went to her new family, I felt God tell me, "Now", but I knew I had to wait since there were no girls at the orphanage where I worked. At that point I was fine with the "Not Yet" answer, so I was quite surprised that He was giving me the "Now". I argued and gave all the excuses (I'm not married. I can't afford this. What will people think?). And with each of my arguments His reply was, "Don't worry". So I proceeded in faith that he would provide all that I needed, including a child when the time was right.

    Five months later, just after my 37th birthday, I met a little girl that was going to be placed at my orphanage, and on August 21, 2009 (the day this post was published!) I clearly felt God tell me, "This is your daughter". She came to my house without spending one night in an orphanage, and I am so grateful for that.

    We are now in the USA (I remained in Uganda until Sept 2010). Has it been easy? No (but God says that life in general is not going to be easy). Has it been worth it? Yes (God has provided in ways I didn't expect, and can't explain). Should singles adopt? Yes (for the same reasons married people should: if God calls them to it, since the Bible doesn't tell married people to adopt either).

    I loved reading all the comments on this post from all the other single-moms-through-adoption out there. I even know two of them who commented on this post (one of which has been in the US with her sweet daughter since last summer, but didn't know her daughter yet when she posted here).

    God works in amazing ways through adoption. Each story is unique, beautiful, and even heart-breaking. But He will provide all that is needed when the timing is His. Trust in Him alone.

  65. Thank you so much. I am a college student and the more I have been praying and reflecting on my life the more I am sure that I may never marry, and I am ok with that. I have been called to adopt once I am of age and to adopt so labeled "special needs" specifically Down Syndrome. It is my calling and I have a heart that has broken for the orphan. Being a single mommy has always been taught to me as not the most desirable, this post has changed that. Thank you so very much for this, it has helped settle a restless heart.
    God Bless

  66. Linny thank you. I was led to this post from facebook, but it became a must read due to the fact that on nearly the same day you posted this, I decided to take the first steps as a single mom to adopt a little girl from Russia. God led me to this specific little girl on multiple occasions (I was a slow learner) and am I hope after many setbacks within 1-2 months of bringing my daughter home. I have two grown up kids and am simply not ready to be done and live the rest of my life alone. Many from my church are accepting of my adoption, but sadly there are many who do not approve. I hope that as my daughter joins our church community, she will be instrumental in changing some minds. God is good all the time and He will use her. 🙂


  67. Just found your website, and this is one of the first posts I've read. I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my face…I'm nearing 35, Mr. Right has never appeared, and my dream is to adopt. I've known in my heart for years that this is what God wants me to do. Thank you for your kind, wise words! I look forward to reading more about your family.

  68. Thanks for your wonderful post. I am a single older mom with two grown children and two grandchildren and I am in the process of adopting a 10 year old girl from China. I have often wondered if it was fair to her to be getting an older single mom. In light of living 4 more years there and aging out, I'm not such a bad option! I am thankful God called me to adopt and I look forward to the day I can hold her in my arms and tell her I love her.

  69. I know that this was posted quite some time ago–but I just read it and I am a SINGLE mom who adopted my precious and wonderful son from Ethiopia 16 months ago!!! What a blessing from the Lord he has been… Thank you for you amazing post!!!

  70. Linny, I sent you an email quite a while back and ran into you and Dwight in Applebee's a while back. I am still thanking you for this comment/post. It was quite a dark time during the adoption process of my second child from China when I first found it, courtesy of Joyce, whom my daughter and I love dearly. Well God has seen my seven year old daughter and I through and we leave for China on 8/8 to bring home our newest family member. His name is Kai, and he will be four soon, and is completely deaf. I can't believe God has blessed us with this little soul. Pray for safe journey. Blessings all!


  71. I just want you to know that your blog has been such an encouragement to me as a single woman. I've bee praying for months now and feel like now is the time. I have started the adoption process to try to adopt a child I met on a recent mission trip to Africa. Thank you for the encouragement straight out of God's word!

  72. So, did you read my "message" somewhere? LOL 🙂 You captured what I've had the wonderful privilege to share in so many settings. I am a single mother who has adopted 2 sons from Russia. They are surrounded by godly family and a godly church family community! I've been blessed—As many of the earlier comments have said, it is a tiresome love story with interesting challenges! But, God continuously provides. Blessings to you!

  73. Linny,

    Thank you so much for posting this! I know God will use it in many ways to speak to singles who are considering adopting.

    I was in that place over 6 years ago. Longing to adopt but wanting confirmation that it was God's will for a single to adopt. I met with my pastor and he shared some of the same references with me that you posted here. I continued to pray and God answered! YES! It is my will for you to adopt!

    I moved forward and never looked back even though the wait for my sweet, amazing Hannah was longer than I'd ever anticipated. (Not one single second of the wait was a surprise to God!)

    In November 2009 I became the Mommy of the most precious baby girl who God chose to be born in China and brought us together as a family.

    Here we are almost 2 years later and she is the light of my life! To hear her singing, 'Jesus Loves Me' in her car seat or praying for loved ones is precious. I pray that God will use us as an amazing team for His service!

    Thank you for sharing these words that God spoke into your heart! You are a blessing to many!!!

  74. Thanks so much for this. I am single and on the mission field and now you have me praying about the possibility of adoption. I am not in the place now to be able to provide for a child and I can't imagine a church supporting a single Mom on the field but with God all things are possible. I know that God has gifted me with a love for children and I always just assumed that if I never married I would start an orphanage. But your post has challenged me indeed. I am new in my assignment and was horrifies to find that in one of the tribal groups here that it is more culturally acceptable to starve an unwanted child than to give them up to be cared for by others. Every life is so precious. I would be honored if the Lord entrusted me with a child to raise to His glory.

  75. Hi All,

    I just wanted to say that I will pray for those of you in the process of adopting, those who are considering it in that He will guide you in the direction of your child, and for those that have already found their child(ren).

    I am blessed enough to have two beautiful China children, my daughter came home in 05 with a cardiac issue and my new son came home only in August and is profoundly deaf. I am telling you this because many perceive children as having to be perfect – perfect in health, appearance and without what many would consider a disability (I've had a lot of people give me grief over adoption of medical/special needs kids and is the only reason I say this). Only God can determine perfection right! We are all His children and perfect in His eyes. Besides all children are perfect :)! They are God's blessing to the world.

    But while adoption in it's own right is a blessing healthy or with some conditions/concerns, I want to encourage many of you to try to adopt special or medical needs children if you think you are able. I am a single mom, now 46. I have no experience in signing or with deaf children, nor did I have an experience with cardiac babies, but God led me to my children for a reason, as He will you for your child. I learned about heart conditions, surgeries and I learned about various syndromes associated with being deaf, Cochlear implants, and good old American Sign Language. Trust me you can do it too! Maybe not the conditions that my children have but maybe there are other considerations that are a good fit for you, or simply put, that God has determined are a good fit. Try and you can do it. Really!

    If anyone needs someone to talk to about adopting special or medical needs children I would be happy to talk to you. There are so many precious babies (of all ages) that can become part of our families and I would like to encourage you in whatever you feel you can handle. God will guide you along the way.

    Blessings to all of you and Merry Christmas!


  76. Thank You for that post! I am continually struggling with this one, I absoloutly DO NOT have a problem and I have already answered the two questions posed at the beginning with the same answer you answered with!! BUT trying to convince other Christians of that is proving difficult. They remain convinced that God has a perfect husband for me and it is NOT God's will that I should adopt alone. They will admit they 100% agree that I would be a fine mom on my own "but it's not right, not God's will, settling for second best". Im gonna do it anyways but would be so good to convince others that Im not settling for second best, and perfectly happy with adopting alone.
    Im gonna send them to your blog see if you can do a better job of convincing them!! Thnaks

  77. For Alljoinin – Pray and He will guide you to where you need to be, despite the opinion of others. I have recently applied for my third child, my second deaf child. You can do this if He is with you, leading you.

    Let's also please pray for precious Ruby. Linny we are with you and your family in His spirit.


  78. I am a single in process of adopting a little girl from China. Today, I prayed for continued confirmation of this being God's will for me and taa daa, I "just happened" to find your blog and then find the article about single women adopting. I am encouraged and hope this helps other single women out there – Go for it! I know it will not be easy being a single Mom, but I trust in His leading and guiding. It is amazing so far and it's only just began.

  79. I am 24 years old and about to end an engagement I've had for 2 months now because I'm realizing just how different my fiance and I are in our dreams and hopes for the future. Many other things fall into this decision as well, but one of them being that I want children, to adopt and such, and he doesn't want children. I've been really praying today because I've been so down about the fact that I wont be having children for a really long time (once the engagement ends and I recover emotionally from this and to find someone else and date and become engaged will just take so much time), but this blog gave me so much hope! Your blog was the first one I clicked on when googling "24 year old single women adopting" and I realized that because I am financially stable and know that God is calling me to be a mother that I do not have to wait to be able to do this. I can start now. I can adopt a child who desperately needs a mom and I found so much encouragement from this blog.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This just opened a door I was unsure would be completely pleasing to God.

    Kristen R♥

  80. Wow this is a powerful post. I am single and have always wanted children. I really thought about a year ago that it was not going to be in the cards for me at all. I am now opening my heart to the idea of adoption and quite frankly your post has brought me to tears. I have to tell you that I have looked at many sites in the past week with videos of children, etc and when I really thought about what I wanted, I realized that when it comes right down to it I could be handed a purple with pink polk a dots baby with no arms and no legs and I would be the happiest person on earth to have MY child in my arms.

    I bookmarked your post here because it is definitely worth revisiting. Thank you so much for seeing into our hearts and helping God remind us that we too are worthy of experiencing the joys of motherhood. I am so excited to think that somewhere in this world, while I am praying for my own child, the my child is praying for God to lead us to each other as well.

  81. Wow. This was great. I know that I am only 16 right now, but I have still been thinking about my future and how badly I want to adopt. I wasn't sure if it would be okay if I could be a single mom in the future for adopted children if that was ever an option for me in the future, so this helps tremendously. Thank you!

  82. Thank you so much for sharing your opinion. It brought tears to my eyes. I love being a therapist to children and families but I have a deep longing to raise a child. I am finishing up my schooling this year to be a psychologist so I am fairly young and have by no means given up on getting married and look forward to that chapter when and if it comes. However, I truly believe I would be a compassionate, patient, loving and encouraging parent to a child. Yes I get to show love to all of the children and families I work with but I hope some day I am able to come along side a child each day and be the loving parent a child needs.

  83. I know you wrote this years ago, but I just wanted to let you know that I found this post just as I was wrestling with the decision to adopt or not to adopt as a single woman. I bookmarked it and reread it from time to time. I just wanted to let you know how much you have helped me. I am happy to say that your post helped me as I wrestled with my fears, doubts, insecurities, etc. My dossier is in Haiti as we speak and I am hoping to bring home my little girl within the next 12 months.

  84. I want you to know this is one of my all time favorite posts, and you are my favorite blogger…..thank you. Single women often feel out of place and second class. I was a homeschooling single mom for many years, and the only one I knew. Other homeschooling families have a hard time socializing with you because you just don't match up, you know? Yes, kids would rather have a mom than no parent (and that goes for boys too, or maybe especially for boys)! I thank you for your new post about hosting from New Horizons. You truly picked an amazingly sweet and loving group of kids to feature. These kids are treasures who will bless the socks off a family. A dearly beloved little friend of mine in Ukraine is on facebook and was thrilled to see his picture and bio on your blog which was posted to New Horizons!!!! He is always so happy to know there are so many praying and advocating for him. God has GREAT plans for this boy. He is a little light shining on a hill in Eastern Europe.

  85. Thank You for this post! It has helped me many ways! I was pondering this same dilemma for a while now and wasn't sure if it was right for me a christian. Now reading from someone who knows His word gives me great insight! Very wise and spiritually insightful! Looking forward to reading your other posts and becoming a member!

  86. So glad I found this. I am 29, single, without much reason to think that will change. Most other Christians seem to frown up on adopting when you are single. Many of my single girlfriends even tell me it would be too hard. Still I have felt it placed on my heart and it is so nice to read a word of encouragement.

  87. I found this post of yours after having read (and admittedly re-read) so many of your current entries. I feel God has put it on my heart to adopt. I know right now is not the time but I feel like God is opening doors for me to take steps in that direction. I am also 29, divorced with two little girls who are the light of my life. I would love more children but because of my horrific first pregnancy, and horrific second birth coupled with the fact that right now Jesus is the only man I want in my life, another biological child just isn't rational or even what I want. Finding this post encourages me to feel like God really IS putting this on my heart. As the woman above me said, it seems to be so desperately frowned on by so many who call themselves Christians to want to adopt when you are single. I now know from reading your words and thinking about those innocent souls who just want SOMEONE, ANYONE to come take them and love them that my heart is indeed in the right place. Thank you Linn for this post and everything you write.

  88. thank you for sharing this word with us all. I am adopting as a single women and I have had people tell them they think it is wrong that I would not wait until I am married to adopt…this is encouraging to me to read that so many others are adopting and seeing God lead and bless them. I started the process last fall and hope to go and meet my future son before the fall. He is 6 and is blessed with Down Syndrome.

  89. Wow! This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear! My journey into adoption is just beginning and I can't wait to see what God has in store for the children He will bring into my life. God Bless You!

  90. I partly agree, but I also think fathers are important as well. I don’t think there are fewer Christian men. I think there is a lack of faith in God providing for our needs and giving us the gift of marriage. People who complain about their families all the time probably married the wrong person….like my parents. Yes we all have strengths and weaknesses. That’s why I don’t know if I should look into adopting as a single parent. Yes I want a husband and kids…I want to help…but I get major burn out just babysitting or volunteering. I have a huge heart but I need to be refueled by God and I just don’t know if trying to build my own family alone is wise. Community can help ad often does though..just thoughts.

    1. Bre, I think you are missing the point. My post is not a *demand* for single woman to adopt and no where did I debate that fathers are a good thing! However, there are many woman who long to be a mom and “Mr. Right” has not come along. My post merely gives these woman ‘permission’, from a biblical perspective, to become a single parent through adoption. So many woman long to be a mom and are energized by the joy little ones give! From the sound of things (“major burnout from babysitting and volunteering”)…it does not seem like being a mom would be a good idea for you anytime soon. And that’s really okay.

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