My Last Known Fear

As I had prayed about leading the GO Team I knew the Lord had whispered that I
needed to head there early, ahead of the team.   That sounded like a great idea,
except for one thing.   My heart squirmed as He whispered the “early” part.

Because friends, I have faced many fears and challenges over my lifetime but I had one final fear that I just couldn’t didn’t want to face.

The fear of flying alone internationally. 

I had always flown to China or Uganda with at least one of my treasures.

Yes, I know many have flown alone internationally.

And I celebrated their bravery and courage.

“Wow!” I told my friend who went to China alone last year, “You are so brave!”

But I just couldn’t.

It was too, too, too big for me.

The thought of being alone in an airport in Europe freaked me out or being alone on a plane somewhere in the world.  {I faced the fear of flying domestically alone many years ago.}

And yes, I understood perfectly what the fear was rooted in {bad things happened when I was little and alone}.  However, just because I could talk myself through it in my head, the brain just couldn’t get there.

I wasn’t afraid to admit it either.

The bath chair’s box wrapped in that stuff that just won’t budge on carpet.

Last year Dw and I even had a discussion about it.  Okay, so I was the only one talking.  He was just listening. He wasn’t even trying to give me a pep talk about it, he was merely sitting, listening.    I even remember sobbing as I questioned him, “So?  I can’t fly alone internationally??  I’m a chicken. Do you really think in all of life it matters that there is this one place that I am fearful and I just can’t get over it?”

He had assured me it was okay to not travel alone internationally.

And then I heard the Lord’s whisper a few months ago about this trip.

And the Lord’s whisper changed everything, because I willingly submit to His leadership.

And He was definitely leading me to GO alone.

So now it became an obedience thing because He was asking me to do it.


It came down to this:



Pretend I didn’t hear?

I prayed for courage and made the reservation.

Seven pieces of luggage: a bath chair, a Stander, Medical supplies, Gem Stuff…

I was actually even excited!

I was about to conquer my last known fear!

Until the day before I left. 

I couldn’t even get a grip as I sobbed my eyes out in our room.

I sobbed till there was nothing left.

And then Dw prayed with me about it and asked the Lord to divinely place people in my path on the trip.  He prayed very specifically.

I had peace again.

The next morning the kids and Dw dropped me at the airport with my seven pieces of luggage.

I could do this!

And I did.

And guess what Our Miracle-working, Mountain-moving, Awe-inspiring, Gasp-giving God did?

He divinely placed a.m.a.z.i.n.g. people in my path – 
so much so that my heart is still beyond giddy! 

Wait till you hear!!

But until tomorrow….

 Took these amazing photos of farmland over the midwest
and prayed for rain….

I know there are some of you who have fears you haven’t faced.

I get it.

Maybe some have even been paralyzed by fear?

I get that too.

Today’s a new day.  Face your fears with me.

Obey what He asks you to do.

It will set you free!!

I loved it so much I may even become an International Flight Attendant.

Just kidding.

I did love it that much!

For real.

He set me free!

Always wanted to be a farmers wife.  
This is where I would live. 
Right here.
 Just have to find it.
And make Dw put on bib overalls.

9 thoughts on “My Last Known Fear

  1. Hate to disappoint you Linny, but bib overalls are a thing of the past! Rejoicing with you over your international flight without companions! Great job friend! Way to beat it!

    1. Yes, they are around. In fact, Renee, I must be living in the past, as my midwest farming hubby wears his bib overalls almost every day! 🙂 Linny–Love how your flight worked out for you!

  2. You know Linny, when we can do things in our own strength it keeps God from getting the glory he so deserves. Traveling alone, either domestically or internationally, would not cause me even a millisecond of fear or nervousness. And I would give God the glory for safe travel, but I probably wouldn't recognize his sustaining power, rest or provision in such a great way. I cannot wait to hear the rest of your story! How wonderful that you obeyed and that the rest of us get to love God more because he was glorified in you!

  3. My fear, right now, is the thought of traveling at night in a taxi to airport from new song mission in Nicaragua. Maybe I can get someone to go with me. Still waiting to see if we are going. Prayers for trip and my heart. After what happened last time, I am a bit afraid but God got us thru unscathed. Thanks fpr sharing,

    1. I pray my friend, that His peace flood your soul. My favorite verse for peace is Isaiah 26:3 and there are days where I have shut my eyes and said it over and over until the peace came. There is no where safer than the center of God's will for your life!!

  4. Hi Linny!
    I totally understand and relate to the fear of traveling internationally alone! I am the same way. I grew up traveling internationally with my family because we were missionaries in Germany but it feels pretty different doing it alone. BUT… I did it this summer when traveling to Africa for the first time and again a couple months ago to come to Mozambique to teach school. I am still not crazy about it and I don't love it. But the Lord is ALWAYS FAITHFUL and He frequently reminded me that being courageous doesn't mean the you're not scared but that you're scared and you do it anyway. Please give Emma my love, from one Africa-loving missionary to another! May you be blessed by the Lord's extravagant love today! Love, Rose

    1. Thank you Rosemary Helene for sharing! Praise the Lord for your obedience in serving in Mozambique. I will tell Emma you send your love!! May God's mercy, grace and peace surround you!!

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